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Can any mdma abuse result in permanent magic loss

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mj1945

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 14, 2012
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202
I had a time where I stupidly knew it was bad to do mdma so often but just could not help myself. I follow the rules now but after such descent amount of waits my last few rolls, how healthy I eat, and the fact i workout 2 to 3 hours a day dripping in sweat I feel the magic may be gone for good. Nothing can compare to the intensity of the first few times, or the experience, the first 2 times were waaaayyyyy better than any other. There was a time for months I would roll every friday and saturday, I know weekly is bad but two days in a row for awhile probably messed up my serotonin receptors. To me I think it's clear that if you abuse this drug for any time it could maybe ruin the experience for good. I won't say ruin because I still plan to do mdma every 2 or 3 months but the magic has definetly been gone for awhile, and same for my buddies who rolled weekly maybe bi weekly for a bit.

I rolled on friday and was a bit nervous because I took about a 3 month break and thought I would get hit like a train. I double dropped and the comeup was not too intense at all. Had a very good mood lift and all but for awhile since I lost the magic the only thing as intense as when I started is that amazing body high. Just generally everything is less intense and lasts a little shorter. I wish I followed the rules before so I still had the magic but oh well too late. Anyways anyone else think rolling for awhile way too often will kill the magic for good?
 
You've more than likely done some permanent damage to your serotonin receptors. I recommend you try take a much longer break (12+ months would be ideal) and see if that helps.
 
I discovered recently that the reason I can't really get high on MDMA now is because I did permanent damage from frequent use in my early 20's. Even though I took a 5 year break, it didn't matter. If I do it now, I feel the MDMA for about 15-20 minutes and then, like a light switch turning off, I become completely sober. The serotonin tree re-grew in a different configuration that is somehow more sensitive to further use. The receptors down-regulate quickly. I'll even still get the after effects like having a downer.

Lesson learned: don't fuck with your serotonin.
 
thabart said:
how frequently did u roll back in the day?
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I'd say 6 or 7 times a month for 5 months. For the first month or two I could have been taking methylone or amphetamine with some shotty e pills but I always had a good time on them. Then around the 3rd month I started getting some really really good mdma tested from a guy who has the best stuff I've tried by far. Then after that i chilled out and took a 5 month break and got close to the full effects and then just had a 3 month break and was dissapointed in the length and intensity. Maybe I'll try a long break 6 months to a year.
 
I used to roll alot. Multiple pills per roll and redosing. When I'd loose the magic it generally took about 6 months to roll properly again. Takes about a year and a half to fully recover from overdoing it imo.
 
damn from reading this, sounds like a lot of people crave it & "abuse" it.
I do it once a month & that's pretty good for me
 
raverunner said:
damn from reading this, sounds like a lot of people crave it & "abuse" it.
I do it once a month & that's pretty good for me
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I found personally after doing e for 2 years 1 month just aint enough, i still get that mid week depression.
However the euphoria i feel is pretty amazing on the mdma.

I just don't like the late nights i guess hahahaha

2 months seems the safer bet, I know that's crap that you have to wait all that long time but at the end of the day is some rave/ hours of euphoria worth your happiness and shall we say optimal lifestyle? Once or twice, sure but.. Constantly?
Of course not.
 
For me waiting 1 month in between i still get some pretty nice rolls, sometimes it feels new again. But considering damage to the brain, and repair. 1 month is wayyy too little, 3 months or longer is the way to go.
 
I've never rolled like my very first time.Magic.
Saying that, I abused it for a good 6months, years ago. Would just drop and ride round in the back of my mates car, eyes closed, feeling the music blasting out behind me(driver was sober, he weren't into it). Got caught up in the emotions, was stupid and abused it.

Needless to say the comedowns fucked me up so I stopped, then everything dried up. This being over 3yrs ago.

Went back to it few months ago, some tasty looking crystal, reagents tested, nicely dosed. Didn't get any empathy, euphoria... just a bit of warmth and comfort. Could have been my mindset on the day, because I made such a big deal of it In my head; the excitement. Over thinking it. Not letting go. I have a feeling I've fucked it for myself with my abusive and plainly ignorant previous use. I'll find out when I get round to doing it again.

But yes abusive use of MDMA can and does lead to its loss of magic.
 
To be honest I don't believe in this 'magic' shit. I just think to much rolling in the same environment makes your brain used to the feeling, you are expecting to feel that way, so it's no longer 'magical' anymore.

Overdoing anything in life can become boring after a while, even if it was very fun at start.

I seriously doubt abusing it would destroy your serotonin axions enough to really obliterate the feelings of MDMA.
 
I think you can permanently lose the magic. After ten years of using and a two year break from regular use, I can no longer roll. For me it's entirely psychological - I have lost my tolerance to MDMA but I have such severe pre-roll anxiety after I drop the pills that I never enter the MDMA state even when I peak. All that happens is that I finally get high enough so it kills the anxiety and then I feel the body high. I have all the physical effects of low tolerance to a good dose of MDMA: loss of balance, jaw clench and grinding, and massive eye wobbles.

The most frustrating part is that I know I'm capable of experiencing the mental high, but I don't know how to break through the wall of severe anxiety that begins to build when I think about using and which then rapidly escalates into an almost unbearable mental state after I take the drug and even before it begins to kick in. I've gone so far as to explore this in therapy, but the anxiety seems to be unexplainable - it slowly built up over years of using and isn't associated with any traumatic or difficult experiences as far as I am able to know. For some reason I've developed an anticipatory anxiety response; and from what I understand, anticipatory responses in the absence of actual stimuli are very difficult to treat and almost impossible to eradicate. For example, I haven't used MDMA in over a year but just typing this out makes me feel rising twinges of anxiety that I feel like my gut is starting to twist.

I hope that I can somehow work through it and once again enjoy the mental MDMA state, but the odds don't appear to be on my side.
 
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i also think you can lose the magic. not sure if its permanant or not. maybe if i wait at least 6 months before i might roll again. or maybe it will take years to get it back. im in same boat and cant really roll anymore. the last time i tried to roll i popped a yellow tri-force, wich is a notoriously good pill from the netherlands. i felt abit of it but mostly jus the bad effects like grinding my teeth and jus felt cracked out for the most part, no euphoria or empathy at all. this all started when i rolled 2 nights in a row and the 2nd night i took 2.5 of some very strong pillz and had a crazy intense roll, but im pretty sure it fucked me up and cause me to lose my magic. probably fried my serotonin receptors to the point were it will take many years to repair them. be very careful with rollin to often and taking stupid high doses. i would suggest not taking more than 200mg per roll and DO NOT ROLL 2 NIGHTS IN A ROW! i would HIGHLY recomend waiting at LEAST 30 days between rolls. i would say 2 or even 3 months would be the best though.
 
thabart said:
how frequently did u roll back in the day?
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Once every weekend, either high dose or multiple doses, usually the former. The most intense use lasted a year, but I was still doing it fairly regularly for another year after. All the while, I worked an exhausting 9-5 job, ate like shit, basically neglected my body, etc.

On many occasions I also mixed with other drugs, like ketamine, mushrooms, acid, etc.

At the time I didn't know or understand that my use constituted "abuse". I thought that my downers were temporary hangovers that would pass. I was ignorant. The kind of information online now was not readily available back then, and because the scene I was in had a lot of newer generation people who had only been doing MDMA for a few years, it was hard to even get good mentoring from older users about it. The only remotely useful advice I got at the time was to use 5-htp during recovery, but it did nothing for me.

I still take full responsibility for what I did. I'm just saying, I didn't get a real warning from anyone about what would happen to me if I continued.
 
I honestly think the whole losing the magic thing is in your head OR your not taking enough MDMA(I don't mean pills, I mean actually how much mg of MDMA is inside the pill)! I've have been rolling bi-monthly for 3 years, and the first year it was almost weekly. But I can safety say that I have not lost the magic, even during my rolls I critique how I feel and each time I am more than satisfied! For a moment I was thinking I was losing the magic, but then realized it was only because I was thinking about it! You can control how you feel, if you really want to roll then, relax, stop thinking so much, and roll your balls off! Then when I found Euro presses, I found out you can roll harder than you did you first time even after two years of use! Haha

But to back up my claim, even my friend who rolls every week and has for the past couple years and is very dumb for continuing to do this, even after warning after warning... But he rolls just as hard as the rest of us usually and takes about the same dosage, which isn't very high, about 180mg in a night.

Just remember your mind is a very powerful thing! Don't worry about it, just know your always in control of how you feel! If you want to feel magic, then feel it! I hope this helps, even though most people can't believe their brain is a tool and not a curse!
 
notoriouspp said:
I honestly think the whole losing the magic thing is in your head OR your not taking enough MDMA(I don't mean pills, I mean actually how much mg of MDMA is inside the pill)! I've have been rolling bi-monthly for 3 years, and the first year it was almost weekly. But I can safety say that I have not lost the magic, even during my rolls I critique how I feel and each time I am more than satisfied! For a moment I was thinking I was losing the magic, but then realized it was only because I was thinking about it! You can control how you feel, if you really want to roll then, relax, stop thinking so much, and roll your balls off! Then when I found Euro presses, I found out you can roll harder than you did you first time even after two years of use! Haha

But to back up my claim, even my friend who rolls every week and has for the past couple years and is very dumb for continuing to do this, even after warning after warning... But he rolls just as hard as the rest of us usually and takes about the same dosage, which isn't very high, about 180mg in a night.

Just remember your mind is a very powerful thing! Don't worry about it, just know your always in control of how you feel! If you want to feel magic, then feel it! I hope this helps, even though most people can't believe their brain is a tool and not a curse!
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hmm interesting
BUT
not sure if serious or trolling lol

For real I get what you saying. When i'm rolling i just think about having a good time that's it.
oh and making out haha
 
Getting that magic, is a careful thing when you've used mdma lots, and lots of factors will depend on how high you get.

Your mdma purity, your doseage method, maybe your alcohol intake per week, other drug use, your diet, your lifestyle, so many playing factors.
 
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