• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E

At a quandary with dealer on whether or not he is too big of a piece of shit: Help!

D

Droppersneck

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 15, 2010
Messages
35,138
Location
all posts made by the Bluelight username "Droppers
Okay so know the guy pretty well. Not bad generally decent person though he went to prison for an violent assault on a person. Always straight up no bullshit; hes got or he dont. Easy to deal with and have a lot of trust built up over the years. Short tempered in nature and generally a bit scary/huge but never came across as evil.

Issue at hand today: Go over for 30s and his girlfriends 4 year old was "rough housing" in his words and looked to have been nudged in the nose to where black eyes would eventually set in. He quizzes me intently on how bad I think it will turn out in which I decline to say but do not let on to any suspicion(dude is scary/ possibly a sociopath). His girlfriend is very quiet and quick to agree with him before he has even made any kind of statement and generally on edge. The kid is very compliant and obviously worried to make most decisions. He is very apologetic in body language and demeanor to both individuals yet still stern/ talking incessantly to me as if he needs to unnecessarily prove something to me that I shouldnt have any clue about (which I wouldn't if I were not intelligent).

This is the only person I can get this from and it is tough for me but I dont think I can stomach buying from him. Women/child abuse irks me to the core and I have lost all respect and actually probably now loath him. Its just I know I am going to break down at some point and it makes me feel like a piece of future shit.


What are your thoughts what would you do?
 
I hate to say it, but I'd find another source if I were you.

Abuse is never ok. Always say something to someone about stuff like that.

You could try to organize an intervention. Get a conversation going with his girlfriend and see if you can get a whole bunch of people together to have a surprise confrontation / intervention which encourages him to get the help he needs and makes him aware of the support his girlfriend has. This can sometimes fix things, but if he's crossed too many lines with her, the relationship should be over.

She may not be able to leave because of financial reasons or fear, or isolation, etc.

In my opinion, you're in a messed up situation and should be careful. You don't know if he'd turn on you either physically or legally.

Bottom line is, you've maybe seen child abuse. I would take that really seriously. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes either, it's a tough decision to make.
 
Droppersneck said:
Okay so know the guy pretty well. Not bad generally decent person though he went to prison for an violent assault on a person. Always straight up no bullshit; hes got or he dont. Easy to deal with and have a lot of trust built up over the years. Short tempered in nature and generally a bit scary/huge but never came across as evil.

Issue at hand today: Go over for 30s and his girlfriends 4 year old was "rough housing" in his words and looked to have been nudged in the nose to where black eyes would eventually set in. He quizzes me intently on how bad I think it will turn out in which I decline to say but do not let on to any suspicion(dude is scary/ possibly a sociopath). His girlfriend is very quiet and quick to agree with him before he has even made any kind of statement and generally on edge. The kid is very compliant and obviously worried to make most decisions. He is very apologetic in body language and demeanor to both individuals yet still stern/ talking incessantly to me as if he needs to unnecessarily prove something to me that I shouldnt have any clue about (which I wouldn't if I were not intelligent).

This is the only person I can get this from and it is tough for me but I dont think I can stomach buying from him. Women/child abuse irks me to the core and I have lost all respect and actually probably now loath him. Its just I know I am going to break down at some point and it makes me feel like a piece of future shit.


What are your thoughts what would you do?
Click to expand...

find a defferent dealer,

a fucking four year old?

i mean you didnt see it happen so you dont know for sure, BUT the way you sound n the way you post this it sounds like you are certain what happened

if you have knowledge of this little girl being abused dont let this go on, dont just not buy from this dude but try n think of a way to help the little girl out

i know its easy to just look the other way n keep buying from him, or to say i dont like what he is doing and go elsewhere but if this is truly happening to this little child then the only right thing to do is to HELP HER

this is a tough situation and any resolution will be easier said then done, but dont just stop buying from this dude n forget about the child, if it has happened it will likely continue to happen whether you buy from the dude or not

i dunno what to tell you but i feel compelled to tell you to look out for the little girl, i know things are easier when im not in your shoes but try n do the right thing
 
Don't make assumptions either unless you know 100%. If you blow some sort of whistle the kid could be taken away by cps even though it may not have been abused. Maybe the guy was asking because he cares about the kid. I'm not being cold hearted I'm just saying don't mess in people's lives unless you got indisputable evidence. Most abusers don't bring attention to their victim's bruises and talk about them in conversation bur then again everyone is different.
 
The fact that you've witnessed what you seem to be pretty was sure was heavy child abuse and still haven't made up your mind on what to do is extremely disturbing to me. That's what I think. You might need more therapy than him.
 
Sounds like a bad scene, and something to avoid. Even (maybe especially) if that means you get clean.

As far as the people involved in the situation, the girlfriend needs to choose to leave or get help on her own. Unless you fear for the safety of the child, I wouldn't involve myself as it will likely be a shitty situation with a lot of risk and no reward.
 
Fuck the piece of shit.

Find another dealer, don't put money into the pockets of a scumbag of the lowest variety (though yeah, I'm sure most of my dealers on the other hand aren't on a moral high ground above domestic violence or child abuse :\.
 
sounds like a shitty situation all round. i would say be very careful jumping to conclusions like others here have. deep down you will know whats right and hopefully make the right decision.
all the best.
 
ohshea said:
Don't make assumptions either unless you know 100%. If you blow some sort of whistle the kid could be taken away by cps even though it may not have been abused. Maybe the guy was asking because he cares about the kid. I'm not being cold hearted I'm just saying don't mess in people's lives unless you got indisputable evidence. Most abusers don't bring attention to their victim's bruises and talk about them in conversation bur then again everyone is different.
Click to expand...

I tend to agree with this. You have a suspicion but that's all it is. If you have never seen the man hit the child, it's speculation. Though you have to go with your gut feeling. I would say nothing at this point and actually go back to see if the child's got a black eye or what. Even then what can you do? It's the child's mother who should be protecting the kid. In reality we know this doesn't always happen.
 
Not to sound like a bad person but its not really your problem and if its your only connect then just dont hang out with the guy and get your shit and leave and dont hang around chit-chatting if his personal life makes you uncomfortable. I also hate people who abuse women/children but i have had to deal with alot of wife beaters over the years and whether you buy from him or not is not going to change his behaviour.
 
He sounds like a piece of shit but he is only your drug dealer, he isn't marrying your sister. There are doctors, lawyers, musicians, teachers and all sorts of people who go home and beat their wife and kids. They are scum but there isn't a whole lot you can do. If you stop buying from him he isn't going to stop hitting her.

I won't go as far as to say she is complicit by staying with him, but if she doesn't leave there is no need for you to. Just keep him at arm's length. Drug dealer. Full stop. Not a friend.

I would just keep out of it. If he is a good dealer that is all you need him for.
 
It wasn't his girlfriend that had been hurt, it was his girlfriend's four year old... that's why grammar is important 8)


How do you know they just weren't playing basketball and a pass hit in square in the face? You don't. There's a lot of things that could have happened, maybe he just thought of you as intelligent and wanted to see is you thought he needed to be taken to the hospital or not, where people would be drawing the same conclusions you are with no evidence...
 
Folley said:
It wasn't his girlfriend that had been hurt, it was his girlfriend's four year old... that's why grammar is important 8)
Click to expand...

Ahhh... I see. Well, I would act like everything is cool and keep buying off him. Keep an eye out on the kid and if any more odd looking bruises turn up make an anonymous call to social services. Just don't do it too close to your last visit or he might put 2 and 2 together and do you in.

Personally I would keep going there just so I could try and see if the kid looks OK. I dunno. It is a toughie. Lots of kids bruise easy. My little brother always used to have bumps and bruises when he was little. Also, I am an ex-dealer and I have been to prison for violence but I would never lay my hands on a woman or a child so don't let what he does for a living cloud your judgement. In my experience, most drug dealers and career criminals have enough violence in their lives already that if they want to take their anger out on someone they don't need to go and do it to their family. It is out there waiting for them in the street each day.

Then on the other hand. their behaviour seems strange, and the way the kid acts seems like he is scared. I would say go with your gut. Keep buying just so you can maybe keep a look out on the kid. If it looks like your suspicions are right then make an anonymous call. I figure it is better to do that and be wrong, than ignore it and the kid ends up seriously injured. If you suspect and you just walk away and do no nothing, it won't be your fault if something happens, not in the least, but I bet you would feel guilty.

Do you have any trustworthy mutual friends who you could talk to about it?
 
Thats good advice David. I've been wondering what's happened but OP never updated this thread. :(
 
Like Folley said, it could've been an accident. But say it WAS child abuse; why does everyone assume the dealer did it? It could've been the mother, anybody really!
 
It could be child abuse but it may not be and without witnessing it you can't tell one way or the other at the moment.
What bothers me is you think its child abuse but your first thought isn't the childs welfare but whether you should find another dealer or not.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top