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A couple more I wrote

SineWaveSoldier

SineWaveSoldier

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 23, 2012
Messages
500
A memorial

No matter how much I try
I can't put it behind
For all yall I ask why
Answers I'll never find

When all was so sacred
We were ever so young
Every time one was taken
So much yall had not done

No one should go through
The shit that we did
So many so fast
We were all fucking kids

I went through too many wakes
Those morning calls in my mind
Deep sobbing breaths
Crying opposite the line

Now as I try to turn the page
Turn my life to that next stage
Ill keep all of your memories
Trust not one of you fade

I wonder if Im worthy
If I should be here
But for each of your memories
I shall have no fear


<3 Rest-I'd name you all but I don't need to <3

My Ball and Chain
This is just a lil relaease of my chest so my head can put these thoughts in a nest. A place for my brain to rest and for my soul to take recess. This is the poetic curse and the spoken verse.
Im just blowin off steam in an ill fated attempt to kill these dreams that arent really dreams...More of nightmares that follow me around like shadows in broad daylight, this is putting to rest who I used to be or maybe taking a test of who Im going to be. I've lost so many in this fight, too many to name too many out of sight.
I've got the devil chasing me that won't ever give up until hes swallowed my last breath, it was so subtle at first- I thought I could hang, thought it was just a weekend thang. Then the real deal was sealed when I took that first plunge, that first rush..............deep breaths, not caring how close each hit brushed me with death.

Im getting stronger now but I know how it is. Let down my guard just once and full swing. Straight gunnin for me, only death will it bring.
This motherfucking Demon knockin at my door, just temptin the kid to cop one more score. I won't do it I cant cause I've realized it now. I know what will happen the whens wheres and hows.
With all Ive lost and have gained time after time. Geting knocked down and beaten for that fine brown line. When everything's hazey and that rush hits your brain, clouded and thoughtless, my ball and chain.

Eleventh Hour
With everything I touch turning sour
Dream not reaching nor passing the eleventh hour
Seems like eternal suffering
All journeys ending with nothing

Bad Fortune never turns
Hope always dwindles
I share my world
Just to have it dissembled

Whenever I feel half complete
Time and time again
Theres always a catch
And always an end

Whenever I open that jar
And spill whats inside
I remember why its bottled
And why I choose to hide

I always hope for a blessing
For my seas to calm
For Loneliness lessen
And my ship come along
 
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opium said:
hmm i like your style bro. Very deep, seems theirs a lot more behind those words than meets the eye
Click to expand...

Oh there is. I should write a book Its a miracle I'm alive.
Don't take these the wrong way though. I walk with my head held high and am at the moment fairly happy. Those poems only reflect the dark side of my psyche. I'm a musician as well but I really draw my inspiration to write from the incredible pain I've experienced.
I'm extremely bipolar as well, I have to express myself to retain my sanity and get my emotions out.

Theres the constant theme of good and evil in a lot of my shit too. I'm torn man. I have the capicity to do so much good and I flush it down the toilet for drugs. Bottom line.
My mother wrote me a letter in jail in which she told me she believes I saw the world for what it was at an early age.
I was intelligent enough and been through enough to see the fucking evil in the world that i just wanted to obliterate myself. Calm my troubled mind by attempting to erase it all.
 
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writings a good way to get it out, i write too on scrap paper and whatever...its like its own form of therapy and helps to keep anxiety lower than normal. i also have lost a lot of opportunity's from Drug use. Not a pretty site.

And its not about erasing it, its about realizing its their, and learning how to deal with it after that. if thats one thing ive learned, dont forget..learn from it.

when hitler did what he did to the jews and the rest of the world, everyone wanted to erase it and never talk about it again..but we didnt. We needed to remember and learn from it no make sure that it NEVER happened again. Learning from past mistakes of yourself and others is what decides whether history repeats itself or not. Learn from how you fucked up, to make sure you never do it again.

stay strong brother
Respect
 
I feel ya. I know, especially being in the program, the importance of exposing and just letting ur shit out there. Secrets kill no doubt.
Thanks for the support
 
we're as sick as out secrets. I too write and have been writing for the last 10 years or so. I plan on publishing sometime down the road. TDS poetry book anyone?
 
SineWaveSoldier said:
Ill keep all of your memories
Trust not one of you fade
Click to expand...

SineWaveSoldier said:
I share my world
Just to have it dissembled
Click to expand...

I like those two lines from the 1st and last poems the most. Keeping someones memories alive will only keep going what they stood for - I look at mankind as a whole and think we're keeping some memories alive but we're also hiding ourselves from our true nature and it belittles anything positive we can possibly try to build on top because we'll just keep coming back.

And yeah, sharing your world just to have it dissembled? I don't know where my writing is at right now, may be gone for good but I wrote a decent amount about breaking walls down, tearing at the inter psyche and just allowing it to be free flowing. I like doing this to other people too, but they do not always enjoy it; it's never to harm only to help people move forward but maybe sometimes pushing limits is not for everyone.

-dp
 
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