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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

i'm so close to done

slimvictor said:
You are thinking like this because you are depressed.
Depression is not permanent. There are many routes that lead out of it.
You may need long-term therapy, drugs, or serious self-work.
For the immediate present, I strongly suggest therapy, because talking to someone almost always makes us feel better.

Whether you are a loser depends on your perception of yourself.
End your depression, and you will no longer look like a loser.

You hear voices? See a therapist. It is possible to recover from even severe schizophrenia.
It is almost certainly linked to your depression. You can end them both, if you get help.

You say you can't stand other people, but you named 3 people in your family that you love.
That is more than some people have in a lifetime.
Maybe you should focus more on the people you love, including yourself, and less on those you can't stand.

If your dreams are fulfilled, THAT would be terrible, if you ask me.
People who fulfill all their dreams no longer have anything to live for, except if they create some new dreams.

Get some help, even if it takes some time, and come through this a stronger, happier, and more positive person.<3
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QFT!!!!!

Man, if I had gotten my dreams fulfilled when I was super sick... there'd only be a couple people alive, and I'd have probably killed them soon after.

This can and will get better. It requires action. Follow the advice above, please. I was once where you are. I am there no more, and quite happy.

Keep breathing.
 
lol i love that people think they've been where i'm at it's very rare to be as fucked up as me and having had as fucked up life as me thanks for trying but i am eventually going to kill myself
 
i'm a pitiful waste of a life all i want is to be high nothing else i don't see what i could really offer anyone else cause all i can think about is pushing that needle into my vein i'm sick and i need help but i don't want it
 
Hey, man. I love getting high. IV Heroin specifically. I think it's the cat's pajamas. I've pushed through some horrifically bleak moments in my insignificant existence purely because I can't get high if I kill myself. I know a lot of people use addiction as self-proof of worthlessness, but there's nothing morally wrong in my book with enjoying that level of base hedonism. I, luckily, haven't had to deal with auditory hallucinations on a permanent basis. I've only had temporary amphetamine psychosis episodes, and they nearly broke me in the sporadic 2 to 3 day periods that I experienced them. I can't even begin to imagine the strength of will you must have to carry on for ten years. That makes you far stronger than you would care to admit. And please tell us about your dreams. They would be entertaining at the very least. Keep yourself alive, if only to stay high. It gets better. Heroin saved my life.
 
mrflowers00 said:
i tried everything i could think of for over 10 years to combat depression i've given in to it's power
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Have you ever considered that you don't have the answer to this problem? You need to ask other people for help. And not just people that have beaten depression once. You need to find a therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in dealing with major depression. A guy like that has beaten depression loads of times.

Go on the internet and look up depression specialists in your state- they're going to have the solution, not you.
 
i don't like to be strong though it's not easy dealing with this shit all the time but like i said i'm happy right now and thats all that matters
 
if you're dead you can't eat ice cream... listen to music... look at the ocean... etc., etc.,

Sounds silly, but my point is there is SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! <3
 
New said:
Heroin saved my life.
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Interesting. I'm not judging. I just think that's an interesting way to look at things.

Mrflowers, I think everyone has experienced what you're feeling right now. I know all too well what it feels like to see absolutely NO way out of depression. It's painful. It's fucking awful. You said you have several people in your life that you love..that's great! Some folks don't even have that! Just think of those family members that you love. Keep thinking of them..<3
 
this might be an absolutely horrible suggestion, but I feel like I can relate to the op. taking a lot of piracetam (while still doing dope) for a couple months helped, but hardly noticeably... dxm was my savior. yes, dxm (and piracetam). it was like one year of therapy condensed into six days of moderate dxm (ab)use

I had a person to live for... then there was opioids, but it wasn't ever the same. then I had nothing. except myself. it was like a seed. then I tried something. I stumbled upon it. To those who've succeed with ibogaine, dxm was my ibogaine. I don't exactly believe in god, but I when dxm made me come to see, I can understand how (when it's genuine) people can find god. or whatever...
 
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i can't stand dxm that shit makes me feel awful i used to abuse the shit out of it too idk how but i did it and liked it i don't mind doing the drugs i actually really like doing the drugs the comedowns are the problem obviously if i could get my use under control i'd be touched by midas... golden
 
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