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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

octSOBER - let's do this!

the time i seriously got sober i HAD to change my old phone number and delete all of them off FB, its hard and most people cant do it, had to make new friends at 12 step meetings, as i wanted to use again.. guess what.. i started talking to my old friends i got high with, and guess what.. im on heroin again! it sucks but thats life its not gunna last forever especailly being im on probation :/
 
I'm still going strong. The other day I did have a craving for something but I didn't give in since it wouldn't have helped and I had no access to it. I am not going to start using these things again. It was rather odd since I hadn't used that stuff in years and it just came out of nowhere. I don't crave it now though.
 
Used two doses of methoxetamine over three days. The first one was sublime, the second one just felt like letting myself down. Also had a couple of bumps of K one of those nights. It was a blip, but on the plus side, there's been a lot of days this month where I've not used any dissociatives, and I don't think I'll ever slip into my old pattern of use, so everything's going well. Hope everyone else is doing OK, and to those tempted to give up- you've come so far, and the feeling of accomplishing a goal you've set yourself (or at least giving it a bloody good go) is pretty special.
 
Quitting cigarettes has been going good so far for me. Weed is forcibly going good, considering I have no choice but to not use it for the moment because I have a job interview :)
 
i had some slip ups with benzos. I'm pretty tired of this cycle of benzo use and rebound anxiety. At least i'm not wholly dependent any more. This is my 2nd day of facing the rebound anxiety, it's usually better by the 3rd day.

Unfortunately my supplier of poppy seeds has severely fucked me over. I may end up in opiate withdrawal in the next 2-3 days. This is going to suck. I'm not sure if i can handle another winter spent in withdrawal.
 
^you can do it, dude, just try to Keep busy reading or studying if the weather doesn't allow time spent outside.

Last Night I picked up my six month keytag, came home from my Meeting and my new car was in the driveway :)
 
^congo rats (Congrats) on your keytag. its blue like the sky because when you're clean the sky is the limit. keep at it :) I'm stil clean and serene as well. went to a bonfire with my sponsor on Saturday and it was awesome. :D
 
Think im gonna join in this since i've already been sober for a few months. (maybe a few minor slip ups with weed) Hopefully i stick with it, i've been having a lot thoughts about using. But i have no connects and am not fucking with H anymore, fuck that shit.
 
stay in the saddle but off the horse (bad pun I know :P) best wishes to all my sober brothers and sisters in here
 
pastelcircus said:
^you can do it, dude, just try to Keep busy reading or studying if the weather doesn't allow time spent outside.

Last Night I picked up my six month keytag, came home from my Meeting and my new car was in the driveway :)
Click to expand...

You just do not know how happy this makes me.<3
 
Ok, think I'll need OctSober more than I thought. I was generally clean since July last year, I only used opiates on two occasions, one lasting one night and one for three days. Now it's 4 days in a row, Oxy, Tramadol and Weed. In contrast to those other stints when I was completely out of control, I integrated my use into my everyday life this time. Like in the days wehre I was really hooked... I know it will destroy so much if I keep using now, but I feel like I don't care. I don't care about anything right now, but I should...
 
In the traditional sense, I have majorly bungled Octsober. I've been chipping steadily on heroin again and am now exhibiting withdrawal symptomology, and I began it in the psych ward after an ugly drinking episode. I've been kicked out of at least two of the major squat/commune houses in the city, and I've alienated several very close friends and my family.

Yet, born of all this is some serious resolve to pull myself up again. I quit drinking as of a week ago, and now I have a bit of suboxone I am hoping will spirit me through the minor kick I have coming. If I come out of Octsober w/ a commitment I will be thankful for even just the hope it may carry.
 
Oh, moe, you are one strong spirit. It's a journey not a destination, right? Love you, bud. You are so right to give hope the honor it deserves. That is the essential flame inside and when that goes out is when it gets darker than you can ever imagine.<3
 
i took 2/3rds the dose of xanax i would normally take when i got it just now can't wait to be relaxed and happy but i feel like if i do get what i want out of this that i'm not really doing this octsober thing right
 
motherofearth said:

Yet, born of all this is some serious resolve to pull myself up again. I quit drinking as of a week ago, and now I have a bit of suboxone I am hoping will spirit me through the minor kick I have coming. If I come out of Octsober w/ a commitment I will be thankful for even just the hope it may carry.
Click to expand...

It may carry, and it will carry. You've done this before, and I think perhaps you wanted to do it again so that you could learn even more about yourself through yet another sobering process. You're teaching yourself how to take care of yourself at the end of the day, which is a valuable skill to have regardless of where life has you currently placed. You're toughening up your character, and with a bit of a backbone, you will go really far in this world, MOE. I can tell that you want to help people and you want to make an influence. Giving others hope by way of your demonstrated battles with yourself and with your role in society. People look up to you, man. You're a strong character who has developed through adversity. We all have that potential within us, it's just a process to come to believe it.
 
well it's almost the end of october and i'm off shitty poppy seed tea, day 5 now with no poppy tea. Octsober was a great help and inspiration. Now time to get my benzo use back on track and taper off loperamide and i am good to go. The future doesn't look so bleak anymore!
 
It's the 31st. Everyone who tried to cut back succeeded. Everyone who maintained succeeded. Everyone who relapsed and learned from it succeeded. Everyone who moved farther into the journey than they have ever been succeeded and gave hope to others. Congratulations to everyone and Happy Halloween!<3
 
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