Suboxone and/or Xanax For Life?

[Zardokk]

This might be a little long, but I'll try to keep it to the point. Basically, I got started using drugs when I was 15. Really started at 12 with caffeine pills, at 14 tried booze once, then at 15 starting using Adderall occasionally, smoking cigarettes, and tried weed a few times. At 16 I became a daily pot smoker and frequent user of opiates (I was nodded out in class a good portion of my junior year). Long story short, by 18 I'm on Suboxone treatment for a wicked Opana/Oxy habit. Soon after I got off Suboxone, I starting taking hydros and benzos again. Pretty soon I had a wicked benzo habit averaging literally 20mg+ daily of any combination of alprazolam/clonazepam/lorazepam. Not to mention I ran a research chemical business from age 18-19 and had constant access to hundreds of grams of synthetic cannabinoids, phenazepam, mephedrone, and psychedelics. I abused them all heavily (tripped on RC and other psychedelics 100s of times, sometimes 3-4x a week) and did phenazepam daily as well probably for a year or so.

Anyway, I got arrested shortly before I turned 20, got my Xanax script yanked by my doc, and decided to get sober. Right after I got arrested, I found out my girlfriend of 4 years had just recently started cheating on me (with FOUR of my good friends), and we broke up on my 20th birthday. I stayed sober for several months and started feeling better from the detox off all the drugs, then gradually things started getting worse and worse. I've ended up relapsing on opiates at least 4 or 5 times since my 20th birthday (March 2012) and I've just generally been struggling.

For the past 2-3 weeks I've been using benzos pretty heavily (2-4mg of alprazolam or clonazepam daily, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less). During this time, my family has told me that I'm much more pleasant to be around, that I seem much more like myself, and most importantly I'm actually getting things accomplished with my life and not moping around depressed. Now I know long-term benzo use isn't a good thing, let me say that right off the bat. But I think in my case, after years of wrecking my GABA receptors with insanely high doses of benzos, and seeing how much they actually help me now to function socially, at job interviews, etc, I think that they may be a good deal in my case. I'm just wondering if anyone here has been through anything similar and has any advice.

I really think I'm going to go see a doctor very soon and get myself a legitimate prescription for Xanax (I used to be prescribed 1mg 4x daily, so that shouldn't be too hard). I just wonder if I'm making the right choice. And also, with the frequent opiate relapses and cravings, I wonder if it would be a good idea to try and get on buprenorphine for life (if any doctor would let me do that). When I do occasionally get a Suboxone strip or two, I notice that I can use it without abusing it and acting like an idiot and nodding out. It also evens me out and makes me feel what I would call normal, and it kills the cravings for opiates and constant horrible pains/feelings that I have (and I mean physical and psychological). I just don't know where to go at this point. I've tried life sober for about 6 months, and the longer I was sober, the worse things started to get. I feel like I'm a much more pleasant and socially functional person on benzos, and I know that if I don't find a way to stop myself from relapsing on opiates I'm eventually going to kill myself or end up locked up. So, to anyone who gives a shit, what would you recommend I do? I'm lost and the only things that seem to be helping me function in any way are benzos, and I gotta say when I do use opiates in moderation, they help me more than I could express.

 

[ArtVandalay]

If you get into a suboxone program, they won't allow you to take benzo's. Even if you have a legit script, they'll strongly discourage it because of the liability of mixing bupe and benzo's.

IMO long term benzo use is not a good plan. If I were you I'd get on suboxone and cut out all other drugs. You'd be surprised how well they hold you, kill cravings and make life better. Soon you won't feel the need for benzo's or other drugs. That's what happened to me.

 

[tommy34]

Hey mate, I sympathise with your cravings for drugs. However, I would now consider myself to be that anti-drug person that everyone hates. I strongly believe that EVERYONE can live a happy and fulfilling life without drugs. In the past I would just want to be high because I was sober, now I prefer reality and I believe everyone can get to this state. I think that you should be working towards being drug free for life, not on benzos or opiates for life, even if they are script.

I would like to know more about your life. What you do for work, what you do for fun ect... The reason I ask is, I was craving drugs everyday and then I started uni and now I don't crave them at all, I attribute this to keeping my mind active and something to look forward to other than being high and maybe you could get to this state as well. You just have to want it and work towards it.

 

[druggist33333]

I recommend you admit yourself to an addiction clinic, they're there to help not judge.
Get yourself a script for suboxone.
Most importantly, as tommy34 suggested, is stimulate your mind/body whether it be enrolling in school (if even part-time/night/online) and or sports/excercise etc., anything to get your mind off the psychological cravings, and suboxone will take care of the physical dependance.
This may be pushing it but maybe even consider a Higher Being/Power/GOD is going to support you through this struggle.
Hang in there man, you can do it, don't give up cuz of a few failed attempts...keep at it till you get what you want...to be FREE of the enSLAVEment of addiction.
Best of luck. Cheers.

 

[opium]

If you get into a suboxone program, they won't allow you to take benzo's. Even if you have a legit script, they'll strongly discourage it because of the liability of mixing bupe and benzo's.

IMO long term benzo use is not a good plan. If I were you I'd get on suboxone and cut out all other drugs. You'd be surprised how well they hold you, kill cravings and make life better. Soon you won't feel the need for benzo's or other drugs. That's what happened to me.

Yeah very rare will you see somebody on subs and benzos..most times people prescribed with suboxone are drug tested while on the program..at least thats how doctors do it around here, just like with a methadone clinic.

 

[SineWaveSoldier]

I know probably 30 people who've been prescribed both. Methadones a little harder but if u need it u need it.
I'm not ur doctor but if ur more pleasant on xanax than off of them maybe u do need em. Anyone i knew who didn't need benzos usually either is an asshole or gets arrested when they have enough access to them. I'm not really being helpful though Gods honest truth like I said I'm not your doctor but you're going to pay for being on them both mark my words I know from experience.
Being on opiates and benzos will take more out of you in the long run than the misguided bliss that you think they can give u.

 

[AminoAcid]

It's very easy when you're high 24/7 to genuinely think you're doing perfectly fine and that you're functional. It's only when you get sober and look back that you realize nothing could be further from the truth, and in reality you were only operating at <50% of true capacity...

 

[i against i]

It's very easy when you're high 24/7 to genuinely think you're doing perfectly fine and that you're functional. It's only when you get sober and look back that you realize nothing could be further from the truth, and in reality you were only operating at <50% of true capacity...

this. have you considered any kind of therapy? i've found it helpful.

 

[cj]

Yeah very rare will you see somebody on subs and benzos..most times people prescribed with suboxone are drug tested while on the program..at least thats how doctors do it around here, just like with a methadone clinic.

That is not always true I was prescribed sub for 2 years and never took a drug test. Each doctor is different.

If you wanna get on maintenance do it with your eyes wide open. There are some large downsides but it probably saved my life. No one can tell you what is going to make you happy so I wish you luck finding whatever it is.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

subs and benzos dang combo I don't see a doctor giving it to you but it can't hurt to ask. I have tried to tell a doctor that I need them so that I don't use illegal drugs but they never go for it and give me the drugs I wanted (in the past when I addicted) Telling truth never worked in the past. Anyway do what ya want ask for it but if doc knows you take subs and you addicted to benzo type meds you obtain illegaly he prob won't give you xanex a highly addicting benzo medicine

 

[Zardokk]

Well today I had a tiny piece of a Suboxone strip early in the morning, then a little later had 2mg alprazolam and 1mg clonazepam. Then throughout the day I ended up taking around 8mg of alprazolam and 2 more mg of clonazepam, plus in the evening I had 10 7.5mg hydrocodones to try and catch a small buzz. Then I did a line of Adderall with a few ridiculous friends, and am finishing off the night with a few good India Pale Ales (high quality, high alcohol type of beer). I know this is all terribly unhealthy, but I don't know what to do. I've been through this whole thing, starting, cravings, addiction, relapse, etc, more times than I can count and it's getting old and honestly I expect better from myself but I just don't deliver. I really think getting my dope legally through a doc would be my best option at this point, be that something like buprenorphine or methadone, or something else like alprazolam or clonazepam, I need downers in me to functional, and I need to try and obtain them as legally as possible. I'm just stuck, I dunno what to do. I'm unemployed looking for a job and stuck living with my parents at the moment which causes me insane amounts of stress, as my dad was a total drunk when I was growing up and he's still a mean asshole with certain "alcoholic" tendencies and ways of acting. I dunno what to do, I constantly feel like I'm going crazy, and I miss my ex-girlfriend so bad everyday that I wonder if it's even worth going on without her. I loved her, and still do, in a way that I don't feel like I could ever love another human being. We were so damn close, and we did so much together, and so much deep philosophizing...it hurts.

 

[RobotRipping]

trust me you don't need downers to function. I was in the same place as you. You may need benzos sometimes for anxiety issues but not 8 mg alprazolam or whatever thrown on top, that is just excessive and is going to ruin your benzo tolerance so that it's ineffective for anxiety.

you are stuck living at home with your parents with no job. That is a horrible place to be but you can't drug yourself out of this situation. You have to get out there on your own and make a life for yourself. benzos and opiates are just going to keep you sane in your terrible living situation instead of getting out of it. Take whatever drugs you need but change your living situation either way. You aren't going to find a magic pill that will get you a job and your own place. Move on your from girlfriend and start living. I can bet at a job you'll have friends or meet a girlfriend there or through those friends, that is how these things usually work.

oh and don't combine 3 CNS depressants, you are asking for death. I hope your tolerance is high and you have someone to check on you, many people have died this way, be careful.

 

[ErikTheRed]

I'm currently perscribed 4-6mg Suboxone/day and 1.5mg clonazepam/day. I was prescribed this regiment about 8 months ago when my mental issues (anxiety, addiction, depression) reached a kind of critical mass. I had been doing talk therapy, still am, but for various reasons I had kind of a breakdown in the middle of my college semester, mind you I wasn't addicted to opiates at this time, but had a lot of issues with craving. The meds allowed me to go back to school the next semester, and I'll be graduating in December.

It can really suck being dependent on both benzos and opiates (Subs) at the same time, I'm a total slave to these drugs, but this "combo" has allowed me to get back into a much more stable and productive lifestyle. But there isn't a lot of room for messing around, I am very strict about sticking to my prescribed doses, only in some especially stressful situations do I add another 1mg (at most) of Klonopin to the mix. And now at the eighth month mark, I've definitely noticed a pretty big increase in tolerance, but the meds still do their job therapeutically speaking.

Anyway, I think this combination should be used as a last resort- and at the lowest possible doses. In retrospect, I wish I spent more time working on other ways to combat my issues, I jumped on the pharmaceutical wagon sooner than I should have.

 

[herbavore]

you are stuck living at home with your parents with no job. That is a horrible place to be but you can't drug yourself out of this situation. You have to get out there on your own and make a life for yourself. benzos and opiates are just going to keep you sane in your terrible living situation instead of getting out of it.
.

Very good insight and advice. Sometimes we look in all the wrong places for answers and then wonder why the questions just multiply.

 

[T. Calderone]

It's very easy when you're high 24/7 to genuinely think you're doing perfectly fine and that you're functional. It's only when you get sober and look back that you realize nothing could be further from the truth, and in reality you were only operating at <50% of true capacity...

My family thought I was more pleasant to be around too when I was using. That's because I was high. I gave up all the drugs and it's still a struggle because I have to see everything with a state of full conciousness. This is why so many people relapse simply because it feels better to self-medicate. Talk to your doctor and maybe he would prescribe something to help you make you feel normal again.

 

[Boupstarnm]

I'd say screw the benzos or at least taper slowly and go for the bupe.

I've been on and off it for 5 years and honestly I think I would have saved myself a lot if hardship if I just stayed on it.

Be careful bupe and benzos are the two drugs that gave me the longest withdrawals.

 

[mrflowers00]

i'd have killed myself a long time ago if i didn't take xanax and bupe

 

[laCster]

ummm that is complete bullshit about not being allowed to be on benzos on bupe.

i am prescribed 15mg temazepam with 2mg bupe daily and 450mgs lyrica a day, if you actually NEED a benzo for legitimate reasons then there is no exception that says you are not allowed to by the FDA or something. as long as your sub doctor is the one prscribing or knows about the benzos, she should have no problem with it if you do need them.

just be honest about how you feel

however, if you are just wanting to get benzos to abuse them i doubt you will have a good chance at getting them, it;s not hard to tell if you are trying to scheme your Dr, especially because they know your history with drugs seeing that your are on suboxone for MT.

 

[Zardokk]

Man, it's been almost 6 months since I started this thread, and I'm still totally dependent on benzos and opioids, and still getting them illegally, which is a constant money drain. I've cut the benzo use down to 1-2mg of alprazolam or clonazepam daily (maybe 4-6mg on that rare day when I'm incredibly stressed to the point of being suicidal, totally unable to sleep, or when hanging out with friends and being given free benzos). As far as the opiates go, I'm still in a similar position. I take at LEAST 2mg of Suboxone daily, lately it's been more like 4-8mg, and it's barely holding me anymore. And there's always the week or two at the end of the month when my supplier runs out of Subs, in which case I get really dope sick and use whatever opioid I can find (usually heroin or hydrocodone since they're the easiest for me to find, but even taking the maximum "safe" dose of hydros, which I deem to be 12 of the 10/325 ones due to the potential liver damage from the acetaminophen, it even 120mg barely takes the edge off of the sickness). Today I've had about 5mg of Suboxone and 1mg of Klonopin, and I still feel wired up and like my skin's crawling and stomach's churning.

I'm at a point where my addiction to benzos and subs is just a drain on my family and my wallet. I function 100x better on them than off of them, but the illegality of it all is wearing on me. I told the last doctor I saw that I used to be prescribed 4 x 1mg Xanax daily (which is true) and that I'd been taking what was left of my old script and it gave me great relief, and she simply told me that 4mg daily was far too high of a dose and that she wouldn't prescribe a benzodiazepine period and tried to give me an SSRI. I even told her that I had been given Paxil in the past and that it caused me dysphoria, nausea and vertigo, and suicidal thoughts, all of which was true. I don't recall what SSRI she tried to give me, but I just thought "what a cunt" and never filled the script or saw that doc again.

I'm constantly debating how to deal with this issue. Please don't bother giving me the advice of quitting, as right now that's just not an option for me, I'd kill myself quite honestly. I'm just trying to find the best route to go to make this cheaper and more legal. I can't decide if I should try a methadone clinic, a Suboxone clinic, or simply try to get a script for Xanax or Klonopin and continue to buy the Subs on the street. All I know is that if I continue at this rate, my life will deteriorate and not only will I always be broke, but I'll end up draining all of my parents' money as well. A few months ago, I stole probably 5 thousand dollars worth of a coin collection from my dad, and spent it all on opiates and benzos (mostly heroin while I was stealing). That's where my addiction is. I'm 21 now and I started taking opiates at age 15, and was a full-blown addict by 17, and prescribed Xanax and Suboxone both at 18. I've been on and off (mostly on) benzos and opiates since about age 15-16 and have been a heavy addict for the past 3 or 4 years. Any advice from anyone in a similar boat?

 

[footscrazy]

I think it makes sense to try and get your sub prescribed, given you're using it anyway and you know it works for you. Having a habit and never being 100% sure whether you'll have opioids to avoid sickness can't be helping your anxiety, and can contribute to a sense of instability and chaos in your life. If you are resorting to stealing to cover your costs, it sounds like you are in quite a precarious position, and I do think simply having the stability and assurance of a sub script will be a helpful step to start gaining more control of your position. It's not a fun place to be when you're always stressed about where your next dose will come from or where you'll find the money. Being stuck in that cycle makes it so hard to do anything but devote all your energy to maintaining your habits, struggling just to keep your head above water, and making no real progress.

I don't know where you're from, but I get my sub prescription through a private doctor rather than a clinic, and there is a lot more leniency this way, for me. My doc allows me to get 7 takeaways a week, I don't need to do drug testing or anything like that, and generally I'm treated as a patient picking up a medication rather than a criminal or child who needs to be punished and kept in line. Having a prescription for sub should allow you to get whatever dose you need at no extra cost, rather than paying by the mg off the street.

It's good you've been able to reduce your benzo usage. As I'm sure you know, going cold turkey is dangerous, so that should be avoided. I do think it's unlikely that you will find a doc who will prescribe xanax and sub together, but I still think securing one prescription, for sub, and at least ensuring you won't be dopesick or have to worry about where your opioids are coming from, will be an infinitely better scenario than the one you're in now. All the best.