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legit need for soma

Jean-Paul

Jean-Paul

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 30, 2011
Messages
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the great shape of the agriculture
i have a drug history, and the medical center i go to knows this. i went there recently because of the chronic neck pain i've had 8 years. it's tight, knotted muscles caused by scoliosis. it got worse all of a sudden, and when i went to the ER they gave me norflex which did not work. so i went to the doctor at this medical center, he gave me baclofen. it still isn't working. i'm afraid to ask for the drug i know i need - soma. i guess i will just go back in and tell them it didn't work and is there anything else i can try? but i can't imagine asking for it, even though in my history it states that i had an opiate problem. i'm also afraid they are just going to think i am there trying to get opiates.

i look like a pill seeker, but i have a serious, chronic problem that needs to be fixed. does anyone has experience with this?
 
Unfortunately, once they got you in their computer system you're screwed pretty much. I've seen it so many times from when I worked at the homeless shelter because people with drug dependency would go in with "chest pain" or something else. Then ask for xxx medication. So they label you as "drug seeking" It happened to me and afterwards I ordered my itemized bill and discharge summary (took too much blood pressure medication) The hospital report stated that they had to recuscitate me which was complete bullshit. They billed medicaid 668 dollars for 2 tylenol tablets. I could not believe the way they beefed up the situation and sectioned me in order to keep me there 4 days.

This hospital network all share the same computer system. They may seem helpful in the beginning, like when I had chronic bronchitis and pneumonia. But soon after they look me up in their system, are eager to get me the hell out of there because they think I'm a nutjob. The only way I can get proper help is go to another district where they treat me like a human being. "Where nobody knows my name" Not funny but true, sorry.

You can't go in asking for a certain drug. It's that simple because it automatically raises red flags. Especially soma being a drug with high potential for abuse. But when you have the discussion with the doctor or PA, you can tell them XXX does not work for me and hope for the best.
This was tl:dr but I had to explain what happened to me. Good luck.
 
thanks for your input. i figured i wouldn't be able to ask for it outright. god forbid a person know what they need.

what i can't understand is how doctors can unanimously be so fucking stupid as to not realize someone who was abusing drugs could have been doing so to SELF-MEDICATE because they WERE NOT GETTING PROPER TREATMENT. honestly, by denying me the shit that i need it's like they're saying "gee, sorry, i'm leaving you with no choice but to self medicate again just because i don't want my ass on the line for what a bunch of other people do that may have nothing to do with you". it's completely immoral and people should be judged on an individual basis.

i will simply tell them the meds aren't working and request they actually feel around on my neck more. he barely brushed up against it last time! they see so many people they just treat us like everyone else. well, you know what? most of us do have to work with a lot of fucking people. it jades us. it jades everyone. but you're A FUCKING DOCTOR.
 
thanks to t.calderone for the earlier reply. i have not found a good solution to this yet but i have another question.

i recently couldn't sleep for 4 days and had sleep psychosis. i went into the mental health ER here for no other reason than in my head i had no place to live anymore (this was a delusion, my roommate was in another town with his son and had no idea what i was talking about on the phone and i did not believe him).

when my friend called the ER, some fucking doctor told him i am a BENZO ADDICT because i was in there asking for benzos. they didn't even know why the fuck i was in there because I didn't. they didn't know i had been awake, they didn't know anything, and they let me leave after signing something that said "against doctors orders". not to mention they fucking said such a thing to my FRIEND, not some kind of family member on a list?

i actually need benzos for anxiety. because of a waiting list i can't see my psych (in the same hospital) for a long time. so in the mean time it looks like a have another strike against me for getting what i need because of this retard? i have RARELY taken benzos since i was no longer prescribed them due to inability to see my old psych. it was a matter of distance and seeing him, not being deemed an addict. these people assumed i was an addict.

it makes me really, really fucking sick that because i know how the system works against me with this, it is assumed i am trying to work the system. if i had gone in there asking for an anti psychotic, would they have questioned me? no. can those ruin lives if prescribed to the wrong person? yes. i am proof.

i am feel ready to give up on getting help because i don't think anyone is ever going to listen to me and trust me. i really just wanted to bitch about this and put it somewhere, but if you have any experience with not getting what you need you can reply.

i hate that they are making me think it's fucking hopeless and i'd be better off mainlining smack than going to them for help. my old psych knew i had a drug history. i guess his thoughts were "hey, probably better than her living the life she was living without it. perhaps she knows what the fuck she is talking about". i am getting really tired of trying to find someone else like that. =[
 
I had been to the hosital with bronchitis and was wheezing bad so they gave me a larger than usual dose of prednisone. I had a bad reaction to it and returned two days later because my feet and legs were having muscle spasms to the point to the point they were getting stuck. Then my face started twitching so I'm sure it was from too much predisone. The first doctor (maybe a PA) said it was probably anxiety attack and told me he would write ten .25 xanax and a different antiobiotic. The next doctor came in a couple minutes later and said "No we can't give you any xanax" The point is, I never even asked for it and if there other hospitals nearby out of this network I would surely go there!
 
I'm moving this to The Dark Side as it seems like you're looking for support more than anything, Jean-Paul. Best of luck with everything, I wish you all the best. <3
 
So you want Soma and you want benzos too?

I think it's reasonable for them to have a healthy dose of skepticism if you're dead set on getting a script for Soma or benzos in particular, especially since you have a history of drug use. You can't really blame them.
 
Artificial Emotion said:
So you want Soma and you want benzos too?

I think it's reasonable for them to have a healthy dose of skepticism if you're dead set on getting a script for Soma or benzos in particular, especially since you have a history of drug use. You can't really blame them.
Click to expand...

funny you should mention that, because after i took some valium from my roommate's friend, i think this.

valium helped with the back pain, but it did not provide the long term, life fixing effects that a real script to klonopin caused.

regardless of whether or not i need to the soma too, i would be able to forgo that if could get back on my working cocktail of psych meds (which includes klonopin) along with flexeril for the pain.

while soma and klonopin together might work better (just a speculation that makes sense to me...as long as the soma is in low dose) i am willing to accept the skepticism as enough to back down and accept less for my back if i can get the psych meds sorted out. simply because klonopin should help with the back tightness and knots anyway
 
basically i will back off looking for back meds that really work unless i come to some roadblock where i can't get benzos no matter what. i am still waiting my ass off trying to see a psych. hurray for medicaid.

i will also be fine with weak back meds if the psych meds to come through.

my pain is cause by scoliosis but the tightness can be fixed with benzos.

i was just going to use soma to try to treat both at once in a way since i have no had benzos in a while. just due to not being able to see doctors because of transportation and insurance issues that are now fixed.
 
Jean-Paul if I'm honest I have a hard time believing that your desire for soma and benzos is just for legit medical needs. Everything, such as your naming specific drugs, your past drug use and the fact your posting on Bluelight makes it very hard to believe your intentions are completely pure. And if I find it hard to believe you then it's not surprising the doctor has serious reservations.

Sorry I could beat around the bush and avoid trying to hurt your feelings but I think it's better to be honest than to deceive you. I could be wrong but this is just the impression I get at the back of my mind when reading your posts. Sorry if this isn't the case but I'm just calling it as I see it. I hope you understand that I'm not trying to put you down.

If you really want to go down the drug route then I would look at medicinal cannabis since it has a lower potential to cause physical dependence and is arguably safer - certainly in terms of overdosing for example.
 
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^ I have to agree with this.

I have substantial chronic pain so I've been involved with both chronic pain groups and BL for years and years. I also studied addiction counseling so I think I have a really good understanding of both worlds and your posts are rather concerning for me.

There are always loads of different ways to treat medical conditions and usually if someone has a history of subtsance abuse, avoiding recreational substances is essential. It's true that no other medications are going to produce the immediate relief that soma or benzodiazepines do but that doesn't mean you should discard all treatment options and perhaps just as important, when you discard all of a medical health professional's treatment recommendations out of hand, they are not going to appreciate that you think you know better and when you add the additional layer of a history of drug abuse and insisting the ONLY things in the world that will help are abusable drugs... You already know how this will look because you know what it is.

I don't think you are making a conscious decision to try to scam doctors or anything, but that your addict brain is rationalizing that you NEED addictive drugs for legitimate reasons so you can feel ok with pursuing getting them.

It sounds like you need a little more help to address the addiction issues and if the physical problems are triggering those, pursue treatment for them that won't make the addiction problems worse. I would be happy to list all of the available treatments for your problems and I'd wager you haven't tried 50-75% of them (if not more) but I don't think that'd be helpful because I have little doubt that we'd just hear more excuses about why you can't try this one, that one is too expensive, this one is too much like this other one that didn't work, etc.

I really don't mean for any of this to come off combatively and I truly hope it doesn't, but the only chance you have at a positive outcome regarding your physical and mental health, is seeing the problems for what they are.
 
i respect your feedback. i am okay with not needing soma now. i realize it's a mistake to think i need this to fix my pain, and nothing else will help.

however, i do not feel my klonopin for anxiety is drug seeking. i have 13 years of the wrong medications under my belt, and i feel i have the right to be fucking pissed if i am treated like a drug user for knowing what works.

i did NOT know klonopin would work for my issues until a psych OFFERED it to me.

there is a difference between fighting for your life, and assuming only narc drugs will work.

i will definitely lay off the soma talk.

however, i feel it's important to get back on the cocktail of meds i was on that was working. it wasn't only klonopin, but those meds would not have worked without it. why? because i tried that too.

because of that, i feel it's only right that i believe klonopin is the correct drug for my anxiety.
 
Benzodiazepines work near-miraculously for anxiety... in the short-term. Long term, they are more-often detrimental than beneficial.

I think it would not be wholly inappropriate to use them for a short period *while* pursuing more sustainable ways to manage this problem. Masking the symptoms with substances doesn't fix anything. You need to get at the root of the problem and find effective strategies to cope with and hopefully eliminate the anxiety.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is the most studied and empirically effective strategy for treating anxiety and for most, it provides benefits very quickly. This gives you the tools to combat the mental processes underlying your anxiety and provides long-term results (if you continue to practice it) without the vast list of drawbacks from long-term benzodiazepine use that includes making your anxiety worse and post-acute withdrawal symptoms that can last longer than any other common drugs of abuse.

Do you really want to make things exponentially worse in the long-run or find ways to get yourself past this for good?
 
CBT never worked for me, and i don't believe in therapy as a solution for me.

i completely understand why only a few docs i've had wanted to put me on the klonopin.

here's some of the deal: i do believe i have been through many traumatic experiences. i don't believe talking about them is going to help. partly because there have just been too many of them (not trying to garner pity, being realistic) and partly because talking just does...not work for me. my symptoms are mental only in that if i take the klonopin long enough to benefit from it (i do not enjoy benzos every now and then as a high, like a lot of people), then the mental issues get worked out with time and my own thoughts.

i am willing to take the klonopin for a long enough period of time to be able to work and go to school (i am unable to do these now due to anxiety and i won't EVEN start to get into where that has gotten me. ie i have no family support and had no good friends until a while ago). i am willing to do that and taper off of them and see if i can maintain the life i have built without them.

i am completely willing to make things worse in the long run because i have hit the bottom of the barrel of life because of these issues and i am not willing to roll around in here any longer to ward off the obvious dangers of an addictive, serious psych drug.

CBT did not work for me in the many, many years of treatment i've dealt with since i was a child and I am not going to listen to doctors about this with a smile on my face for very long if they are suggested i don't know what i am talking about.

i fully understand that i am choosing a dangerous path, however. i also feel it is an appropriate one for me to take, although i cannot forsee the length of time i would be on them. as long as i have built up enough of a life to wean myself off, i suppose i would be open to that and open to alternative remedies.

on the other hand, if everything went to shit again, i'd be willing to be getting back on them and eventually weaning off again would be worth it to me.

if your life is a great film you could watch and you can only watch it for so long before you have to change the channel, would you rather do that or never turn it on at all for fear the other channel would be shit when it was time to change?
 
CBT was an example of one commonly used, well-researched approach but it is by far not the only option.

If you have been through significant trauma, believing you can medicate it and it will just go away on it's own is undeniably setting you up for more, likely worse problems down the road.

A lot of people have bad experiences with therapy and mental health professionals because, as much as I hate saying it going into the field, a lot of them are fucking morons. That doesn't mean you should write off the best opportunities you have at bettering your life. A lot of professionals think they know better than you about your problems and disrespectfully insist 'their way or the highway' and that's bullshit; you deserve better.

There are professionals out there who really care and will truly listen to you and work WITH you rather than against you to figure out what YOU need to improve your life and be able to help you move past your past into a place where you can progress as a person. Please don't sour yourself on options that could truly help you due to negative past experiences.

If you are not ready to talk to someone about what you've been through right now, that's completely alright and maybe just getting to a place where you can have a little more normalcy in your life is the right path for you. I wouldn't rule out benzodiazepines playing a role in your treatment but they are not the only option in the pharmacological management of anxiety and I hope you will be open to trying some other courses of treatment as well.
 
i don't believe talking about it will help. that's the thing. i don't feel like it's hurting me. i don't think those things were shitty in a way that will help if i "work through them" by talking about it. there is nothing to work through. they were just unfortunate things that probably worsened the physical, bodily anxiety illness i need to treat. MAYBE later on the meds, i can think more clearly and consider this.

i think this is a body issue more than anything and if i tried to relate it to a therapist i would feel like i was completely wasting my time. i have felt like that with therapists before i even knew i had GAD or needed klonopin. the last time i liked a therapist i was 12, and i think it's because i wished she was my mother. some of the things she said helped with the OCD, like "hey, has that crazy thing you fear will happen...ever happened?" and i felt better. at this point if someone asked me that question, it just wouldn't matter. but i will not deny that as a child, i did have a therapist i was fond of. i do not know how much she helped with the early OCD symptoms i had, but i liked her.

how i feel with a therapist:
"um...then this bad thing happened. so, that sucked. yeah, i felt bad because it was bad. IT WAS BAD AND I FELT BAD..."

it's as ridiculous as a meme to me.

basically, i am not currently open to listening to anything other than "yes, i will put you back on that cocktail of meds" at this point.

no, i don't think it's because i am ill informed or just want to get high.

but i definitely will consider these other things once i am at a stable place...which will be due to those meds.

it's refreshing to hear someone going into the field admit that there's a ton of morons. please don't rule out everyone who could benefit from benzos as a drug seeker. even if they post on bluelight. ;P it's dangerous to give them out to people who could be lying, but it's inhumane to not give them out to someone who could be living their lives if they had them. also remember drug use can be self medicating. we are not all going to mistake meds or OD with a drug history. ask about the drug history. take reasons into consideration. the guy who is all about talking about his far out acid trips is probably too stupid to use the benzos correctly. the person who was self medicating with downers may have been using what was at their disposal (though i still wouldn't share that info with a doctor if they didnt know, for their sake as much as mine)
 
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