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So unhappy

J

juniorcat

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 14, 2011
Messages
147
My life has no direction. I have no friends, job or college. Earlier this year my girlfriend broke up with me. I relied on her. I was always with her and never had to worry about friends. I enjoyed being with her all of the time and it made me feel great to have her. She cheated on me and left me.
I became very depressed and started drinking every day to feel happy. I've met quite a few people, but made no real friends. I have noone to hang out with and nothing to look forward to like i see other people do.

I've stopped drinking because I am on a curfew issued by the police and know that if I drink i will break it and be sent to prison. I have to be in my house from seven am till seven pm. I am very depressed and can not find happiness wherever I look. I am on a course at college, but have not been able to do any work out of sheer complete lack of interest. I hate myself, am unconfident and can see no way out
 
DrugFuckedNZ said:
Hang in there mate, were in the same boat! I'm a bit toasted and coming down after a 3 day binge of benzoes, booze and ritalin IV. Tell me one good thing about yourself that your good at?
Click to expand...

I'm good at not caring. I'm good at loosing interested in things I've started. I'm good at loosing friends.
 
Hang in the bud,
A lot of us here feel the same way u do.. I would <3 it if my guy wanted to b w/ me like that, but he can't wait to gtfo..
I also, have no life.. No friends, ect..I look forward to nothing bc its just easier then the inevitable letdown I would get..
If u ever need a good rant/vent pm me, I'm always around and always looking for a new ranting buddy 2 bitch about my life 2..
 
I always take comfort in looking back at the times when I felt like that and looking at how quickly that turns around when you least expect it. I've gone through months or years of isolation and depression to somehow end up with a job and girlfriend and friends to find myself back there and then realizing that I've been through it. All it takes is being open to the reality that life can change and WILL change for you. You're stuck in your house right now - use the computer like you are and know that you're certainly not solo in your journey and how you feel. And yes, when depressed it is hard to take initiative to do things (like walk across the room to grab that glass of water), but force yourself to do 10 push-ups an hour, force yourself to take a deep breath (put reminders on paper in your bathroom, kitchen, under your TV), and almost force yourself to know that life will change, you just have to do your time right now. You did have a girlfriend - you have met people - you will find more gf's (unfortunately probably more than one, break-ups suck;) - you have people here online - you're just doing your time right now.

Keep your head up. And again, always KNOW that life changes faster than you think it will, especially if you've never gone through any big change and have no experience with it. And if you do know people, try and eventually reach out to them - they want to be wanted - that's how people are. Just like over here in this forum, people want to help people out. A support group of some sort isn't a bad idea... New people that are all usually in the same boat and at the end of meetings (I've been to one, yesterday, my first ever), you end up locking eyes with certain people that out of common problems will end up being good friends.
 
Well junior, you have 2 good things going that I can see: You're enrolled in college plus you stopped drinking. I've been a virtual shut-in since May when I quit my job. I have done so many stupid things due to my drinking. I hate my life and have so many issues just piling up.

You guys can pm me anytime. If I don't answer that means I'm in jail :(
 
hey man, had the same thing happen to me, had a gf for 3 years, woman i was going to marry, had to break up because we were just no good and too toxic to betogether. was my best friend, lived together saw her every day and was never apart. i dont hang out with anyone but me myself and i. matter of fact saw this girl a few days ago for 3 days straight, and it was clear we are soulmates, but its not going to work in this lifetime. Am i down? yea i am, but things move on. You dont see it at first but eventually something happens that surprises you. I barely work (not for lack of trying) and dropped out of college out of loosing interest in what i was doing....but somehow i wake up everyday go to the methadone clinic, pop a xanax bar and start y day. the meds dont change any of the facts listed above but it helps. keep your head up and your shoulders back and take on the world. sometimes its all you can do.
 
locohooter said:
I always take comfort in looking back at the times when I felt like that and looking at how quickly that turns around when you least expect it. I've gone through months or years of isolation and depression to somehow end up with a job and girlfriend and friends to find myself back there and then realizing that I've been through it. All it takes is being open to the reality that life can change and WILL change for you. You're stuck in your house right now - use the computer like you are and know that you're certainly not solo in your journey and how you feel. And yes, when depressed it is hard to take initiative to do things (like walk across the room to grab that glass of water), but force yourself to do 10 push-ups an hour, force yourself to take a deep breath (put reminders on paper in your bathroom, kitchen, under your TV), and almost force yourself to know that life will change, you just have to do your time right now. You did have a girlfriend - you have met people - you will find more gf's (unfortunately probably more than one, break-ups suck;) - you have people here online - you're just doing your time right now.

Keep your head up. And again, always KNOW that life changes faster than you think it will, especially if you've never gone through any big change and have no experience with it. And if you do know people, try and eventually reach out to them - they want to be wanted - that's how people are. Just like over here in this forum, people want to help people out. A support group of some sort isn't a bad idea... New people that are all usually in the same boat and at the end of meetings (I've been to one, yesterday, my first ever), you end up locking eyes with certain people that out of common problems will end up being good friends.
Click to expand...

OP, re-read this post a couple of times. I did, because it is amazing. The first thing is touches on is acceptance of your situation without guilt or shame directed at yourself. This house confinement is your reality so how can you learn from it and make the best of it and not sink farther into the abyss?

The second thing it does is name a couple of specific small things you can do (push-ups and mindful deep breathing) that will serve several purposes at once--they get you to do something, they are good for your body, they are distractions and they will create a proactive feeling in your mind as well as creating a habit of discipline.

One thing that will serve you really well during this forced isolation is to work on yourself positively rather than blaming yourself and calling yourself names that I know you would never call a friend in the same situation. Read self help books. As corny and irritating as some of them can be, sometimes they spark ideas that are life changing. Research sites on the internet that provide that kind of information--there are so many good sites like that. Most of the negative self-talk that we fill our heads with is so inaccurate but the sad part is that if you say it long enough, you can make it come true. You still hold the keys to your life and I know that you can get through this discouragement, exhausting as it feels.

Good luck. If I can get some time to research specific sites I'll come back and post them. That just gave me the idea for a thread.:)
Much love to you.
 
some fuck face found me passed out in the middle of the road and called the cops . Woke up to a Narcan shot on a flat-back being brought into an emt truck pissed as fuck . You're not the only one whos sad .
 
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You know what's the best part about feeling shit for a long period of time? That when you do recover (because you worked on recovering and not because of luck), you will be set for awesomeness for the rest of your life. Seeing the very lows of life helps tons in mastering how to achieve the highs.

Maybe you think thats bullshit now, but hopefully you'll appreciate it some day. Just hang in there and no matter what, DO NOT GIVE UP.
 
Work on finding some friends, and go from there. Even when you're in a relationship, it's still totally necessary to have other friends.

I am sorry to hear that she cheated on you man, that's really unfortunate. I hope you don't let this negative experience taint any future relationship with other, potentially more worthwhile women in the future. :)

Finally, have you considered looking for a job? After you turn in some applications, you'll feel really accomplished and proud of yourself for taking the initiative in improving your life. :) Never forget, there's over six billion human beings on the face of the planet; therefore, it's almost illogical to become hung up over a single one of us.

Take it one step at a time, and before you know it, you'll be a lot happier.
 
juniorcat said:
My life has no direction.
Click to expand...

You make direction. Are you not making a direction? Change this and feel better.

I have no friends, job or college
Click to expand...
.
Change this. It will take time, but you can do it, step by step.

Earlier this year my girlfriend broke up with me. I relied on her.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you know why she broke up with you. Nobody wants someone who is overly dependent.
So, this is your chance to strengthen yourself as a person, and emerge better and stronger.


I've stopped drinking
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Fucking awesome. You are strong. Don't start drinking again.

I am on a course at college, but have not been able to do any work out of sheer complete lack of interest.
Click to expand...
Well, then you should find a course you are interested in. There are so many wonderful things to learn in the world. Choose one. Problem solved.

I hate myself, am unconfident and can see no way out
Click to expand...
Confidence has to be earned. Sounds like you were in a dependent relationship, so you lack confidence.
You needed to go through a breakup and be thrown out on your own in order to go through the process of finding friends, creating a purpose, and finding confidence. In this way, you will stop hating yourself and begin loving yourself.
You are in the darkest part of the path now, but you are on the right path. You are on the road out! Stick to it. Change your life. It is up to you. Don't try to find happiness. Create happiness. Make friends. Study what you are interested in. Life will get better and better.

Above all, never give up.<3
 
Try taking L-Tyrosine 1500mg 3x per day on an empty stomach. I've been clean/sober for 9 months but had been still struggling with some of the things you described.

L-Tyrosine is an amino acid that when taken, gives your body the building blocks to make more dopamine. I noticed an almost immediate change with being able to get out of my own head, get active, 'join the human race'. In other words...there can be some things you can do in your present state to make you feel better, but if your tendency toward drink and depression has a biological root, you may not be able to overcome what's ailing you.

This topic goes deep, you'll likely need more info. i got a book called 'End Your Addiction Now' (not a fan of the title personally...) that's given me an amazing amount of insight. In short this book says my tendency toward addiction isn't because of a moral failing or personality defects but firmly rooted in biology, namely an impaired ability of my body to produce appropriate levels of neurotransmitters and extract/absorb vitamins and amino acids from my diet.
 
I'm in almost exactly the same boat. I think the main problem is becoming so dependent on one person. As cheesy as it sounds, never put all your eggs in one basket. Don't beat yourself up for getting into your situation in the first place (I don't know if you have this problem, but nothing good can come of it, I know from experience.)
 
I hope you start to feel better soon.
A lot of people here can surely relate, I've read over the above posts and there are some wise words on the table.
Don't beat yourself up too much. This is just one section of your massive life. Try not let yourself believe that you will feel this way forever.
My ex was a cheating scum too, so I know how tormenting it can be once it all comes down. Believe me, it will pass.
I'm proud of you for ditching the drink. I know you are in trouble with the law, but even so this would not stop a lot of drinkers... 1up!
If I were you, I would spend my time doing household activities which takes the mind off everything else.
For me that would be creating art in various forms
For others, exercise is the key.
It could be video games that take your edge off.
Get better soon <3
 
I'm going through something similar.. I don't really have much to add apart from that I can relate and it's a tough place to be in..
 
I think locohooter and herbavore killed it with those posts. Perfect responses. All I have to add is a simple saying that my dad of all people (possibly the worst relationship in my life, so its kinda ironic that something he said would stick with me so much) told me. "if what your doing isnt working, change something, absolutely anything" the smallest, easiest to make changes, such as making.yourself get out of bed earlier or listening to different music can have a surprising effect. Not only that, but making one change gives you momentum to work with and build on. Ive never claimed to be perfect or totally sober in any of my posts (btw soooo much respect for your ability to quit drinking), but I do know small changes, or baby steps, have helped me to improve from where I was, and improvement is all we can really ask for. Good luck man, I believe youll make it and be an incredible person having gone thru this :)
 
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