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how to succesfully be with 2 girls at the same time

3 said:
^People differ vastly in their relative polyamory/monoamory, and their values related to such. Sometimes a naturally polyamorous individual has extremely monoamorous values, and they get all fucked up inside and in their relationships because they really need polyamory but are too repressed and conditioned to do so.

People also differ in how much they attach sex to true romantic feelings. Some are capable of banging a 100 partners and never feeling any romantic feeling for any of them, some fall in love with every person they have sex with, or find it a necessity to have sex in the first place. Some people become very jealous and insecure about the thought of their romantic partner with somebody else, some people don't. There is nothing wrong with being any of these. It's just the way we are, we are a very diverse species.

Still, the OP's situation is just a disaster waiting to happen. First of all, the ex-GF sounds awful. The choice seems easy from that perspective. Second of all, what you are trying to do seems selfish. You need to tell them the deal if you want to continue doing it, if you have any real feelings for them at all. Most girls are OK with situations like these provided you are upfront with them. I think you might have already lost that opportunity the moment you fucked the second girl without telling her about the first. Honesty and communication go a long way in having healthy relationships, be they primarily sexual or romantic.

At this point your best bet is to dump one of them immediately and try to bury the hatchet. When you begin telling lies or withholding truth, shit gets to a point where everything is better off if you do your best to make it right and not say anything. Hopefully you learned your lesson and will be more upfront with women in the future. Otherwise you will keep digging holes such as these. If you still don't realize the hole you are in, or deny that you are in one in the first place, then you are hopeless.
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None of those things are true for me. I have no values at all really. I consider myself a completely amoral, standardless person. Everything I do is for pure and total self-gratification, a conscious choice to live as if solipsism were true (I don't believe it is, but I pretend to in my behaviour.) It's rather that I'm extremely monoamorous to a ridiculous degree, if there's any sort of intimate romantic love involved. If there's not, I can screw with three people on a night or do orgies or whatever - I'm a pure, completely self-aware and self-knowing(and centered) empathy-free hedonist. However, when I choose to commit myself and thus choose to love another person in a romantic way, I don't think there's a christian fundie or crazy al quaida woman who is even 10% as monogamous as I am. On the inside; My whole sexual drive for other people just evaporates. It ceases to exist. Seeing someone I'd have found sexy before I choose for someone else naked does about as much as seeing rock after I commit. I'm really extreme (and weird) in that.
 
But is a threeway being unfaithful... I don`t think it is
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Oh definitely...I agree. I was completely 100% against them, but I think I've changed a bit in the last year. I don't know I'm 100% against having one anymore. It seems like the older I get, the looser my values get. LOL I think I'm going backwards mentally. haha. Plus, I just truly want to have a good time with someone. I don't want marriage. I want a really fun partner who is faithful to me, but we can explore together, and this might be one thing I would do. The downside is that I'd have to be friends with her I think, I'd have to be on drugs to limit my inhibitions, and she'd have to pleasure me, because I would be nervous and not know what to do. lol
 
everyone is beautifullll, in their own way?

Oh, I don`t know if being friends with the 3rd would work for me... I would think non-sexy time would be awkward. Maybe not...
 
3 somes are over rated IMO, Iv had a fair few too! Iv paid for it lots of times to fulfill my drugged up fantasies but really it ain't that good watching 2 girls playing with each other whilst wanking or having one sat on my wiener and another sat on my face....


Actually.... Scrap that.... Theyre awesome! Hope mrs.buffnstuff has a friend! :p
 
BluLait said:
The MDMA trip changed me. I have no more feelings anymore for my ex, if before I would have given anything to be with her and shit (kissed her friends in the ass etc. so they would accept me so in turn she would accept me). I told her today that I will fuck her friends because they are stupid imature assholes.... she didn't say anything in return...

This is the degree to which this relationship has changed. If before, she dominated me, now the tables have turned and I can basically control her emotions and actions. It's amazing and scary how the self-confidence MDMA grants changed my life. I can feel she is scared of losing me. She can feel I have changed and I am not her puppy dog anymore and it made her realize some stuff.

Stuff with the other girl are going fucking great as well... She's shy but she told me something along the lines of: "you're not like all the other guys." So that's good.

And now, I am in college. And guess what. Shitload of other chicks there as well. I told my ex about all the girls hitting on me and she went nuts again lol. It's funny how she reacts and then she tries to prove to me that she's better than them, sex and everything. lol.

I know this is un-ethical, but honestly... this is the best time of my life lol and I have no idea what to do. Guess I'll stop asking for advice and just live my life and see how this goes, eh?
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ditch your ex- dog in the manger syndrome is what she now has. you changed how you feel about her because you analysed that her behaviour was going to impact upon you negatively again and you could do better.

cut her out and go with the new girl
 
Lysis said:
Well, I think the newer, prettier girl just dodged a bullet. Good for her.
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what do you mean?

Update:

After spending a little more time with my ex/whatever... this won't fucking work. I'm a freak in bed, and even though she likes all my kinky stuff when we do it (she said she never had this kind of sex with other guys), she feels bad about doing kinky stuff afterwards. She's seriously messed up in the head, psychological issues... had problems in her childhood & shit - I won't go into details.

Also, the thing I hate the most, is that's she's obviously trying to dominate this relationship through sex. When she feels I'm in advantage or something, she'll fuck me crazy... but when she can, she will say her head hurts, that she feels sick.... bullshit. I've had enough. She's not even that good in bed, I do all the work. Fuck this. I know deep down inside that she's not the person for me.... We don't have the same interests. The only thing that's nice is that we can spend HOURS and HOURS entertaining ourselves, just talking... no sex or anything. We can talk for 5-6-7 hours and never get bored. I kind of feel bad about hurting her but this is the decision I'll have to take. I can't be with both of them at the same time, I though about it more and it's not the way to go. I wouldn't want anyone treating me this way and I won't treat any of these girls this way... because It's just wrong. The new girl, especially, she did nothing to deserve any of this.
 
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It seems like you just aren't mature enough to be in an actual relationship right now.
Why don't you be upfront with the girls? Let them know that you only want sex, only want a friends with benefits type thing?
 
llama112 said:
It seems like you just aren't mature enough to be in an actual relationship right now.
Why don't you be upfront with the girls? Let them know that you only want sex, only want a friends with benefits type thing?
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This. OP did manage to mature quite a bit over the course of the thread, however.
 
Lµs. D said:
Again, about the threesome; Why do dudes go all crazy about that? Do you have no idea how inconsiderate it is to most girls? Would you fuck a dude in the ass to please your girlfriend?
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If I was bisexeual, sure! I'm not, but I've done mmf with just making out with the dude etc and both of us doing stuff to her. I.e. one kissing her, touching her while the other goes down on her.

No big deal, even the making out etc, if you consider it objectively, it's fucking trivial and not meaningfully different than doing it w opposite sex.

So I fail to see how it's inconsiderate. I've had many good times with 3 people at once mff and mmf.

Rangrz has concluded the more open you are, the more fun you have.

On that note, it's time for cocaine and some kink play w nova and Sophie.
 
Which one are you more comfortable with (and view as a long term relationship thing?) Give her your number / contact details etc and use the other as a random hook up when you feel like it. Do not get two phones - simply buy another sim card and give that number to your other girl.

Before you get in too deep with Plan B make up some bullshit story about you working away / not available all the time so she should not expect you to be available at the drop of a hat (IE you need notice). Once you have the basics covered then its pretty simple - you can spend as much time with your preferred gal and then have girl two in the background for what you want / need.

What to you want from both of these people?
 
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