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beginning of opiate addiction?

S

starlett7

Bluelighter
Joined
May 9, 2010
Messages
161
I discovered dilaudids a few months ago and wasn't too crazy about them at the time, just did them once in a blue moon.
In the last month or so I got my hands on quite a few and started to really really enjoy mellowing out on them. Iv been doing at least one (4mg) almost every day. I don't think that's enough to be physically addicted or to have withdrawals but I'm definitly starting to feel a mental addiction. I love doing them at work now too which scares me a little bit because it just seems like a really bad sign.
Is this how addiction starts? Iv always been very controlled and responsible with my drug use until recently, a little bit with other substances as well but mostly just with dilaudids.

I'd love to hear people's experiences... how your addiction started or almost started?
Any advice on how to get your mind off that craving would be great too...
 
id say 2 weeks daily use is enough for withdrawal. That is indeed the start of addiction, so many people here have the same story. Mine is similar as well.

TO get your mind off of craving do something else, when the craving comes, fight it, first time is the most difficult and it gets easier with each craving. The cravings will go away and will only get much much worse if you keep going. This is the fork in the road, you either go opiate addiction/dependence or you learn your lesson and either stay away or use once every 2 weeks. If you can't stick to that then it is inevitable that you will experience withdrawal and opiate addiction.
 
It doesn't take long dude..
Given your level of interest in dialudids, and the fact that you have moved on to using at work, I would definitely say you are at high risk of forming quite a nasty habit.
All I can say is stop before you regret it all.
 
If you're using daily you're definitely in the danger zone and if you continue like this there's no way you'll be able to escape addiction...get out while it's still relatively easy is my advice.
 
When you start getting a cold once a month its probably too late... you're doing dilaudids everyday you're gonna physically and mentally crave that shit
 
starlett7 said:
I discovered dilaudids a few months ago and wasn't too crazy about them at the time, just did them once in a blue moon.
In the last month or so I got my hands on quite a few and started to really really enjoy mellowing out on them. Iv been doing at least one (4mg) almost every day. I don't think that's enough to be physically addicted or to have withdrawals but I'm definitly starting to feel a mental addiction. I love doing them at work now too which scares me a little bit because it just seems like a really bad sign.
Is this how addiction starts? Iv always been very controlled and responsible with my drug use until recently, a little bit with other substances as well but mostly just with dilaudids.

I'd love to hear people's experiences... how your addiction started or almost started?
Any advice on how to get your mind off that craving would be great too...
Click to expand...

My addiction started about ten years ago when I met a lady who turned me on to snorting oxy 80's. I was hooked really fast and it wasn't just the oxy. It was the route of administration. It was like I transformed into a monster and I started like you, just chipping. But within a couple months I had to have it every morning, every night and also using at work. That was only the beginning of a dark journey. It was energizing to me and I felt like superwoman, no problem losing that excess weight because I had no appetite for food.

This lady became my bff- I had the job, money and car and she had the connects. Fast forward two years and we were both seeing pain doctors to get the oxys because it was getting pricey buying them off the street. I felt self conscious when they made me weigh in as I was very thin (down to 89 pounds), but because I'm short the doctors said I was fine. That's how these clinics worked, you pay them cash and everything's good. I was still working the same full time job for more than 20 years. Nobody questioned me and it was so easy.

I finally ended up with a doctor three years later that told me "You don't want to be on these pills the rest of your life. You could die" It felt like a smack in the face and I cried like a little girl but I knew he was right. I could have went back to one of the other doctors but I knew he was looking out for me. It took some time but I stepped down and eventually completely off that hamster wheel.

I feel stupid for typing all this shit. But I have to tell you what you could be in for if you keep using. Nobody intends to get addicted but it happens sometimes even if you feel you have it under control. After quitting, I had dreams I was getting high and wake up pissed off because it seemed so real. I was still craving them evidently. You're not doing them, they're doing you sort of mindfuck.
 
So check in with yourself, you're asking if it's enough to go through withdrawals but only your unique body chemistry will tell you that. Take a week off. If that feels impossible (i.e. you are absolutely addicted), take a month off. If that feels impossible, make some lifestyle changes (people, places, things that make you want to use). Maybe get some outpatient treatment.

Opiate addiction is very INSIDIOUS. If you don't know what that word means, look it up (i'm not being patronizing). I have a little over 9 months clean now from all drugs, was mainly doing tons of Morphine (seed, pod tea) and i'm still not well. By any means. I mean..i'm alright i guess, but i haven't returned to 'normal' whatever that is. I managed to take small doses (like 5-10mg 2-3x per day) of hydro/oxy from age 17-27, found a quirky way to get a ton of Morphine into my body and haven't been the same since. I'll be 31 in a few weeks.

When you take opiates on a regular basis what you're doing is fucking with your brain's ability to produce Dopamine, an essential neurotransmitter. That and you'll notice that (like with marijuana, if you've experienced this) normal things that used to be pleasurable and enjoyable are so less and less. If you don't take breaks to check in with how you're feeling, you'll never notice this, you won't have a way to perceive how you're feeling w/o the drug in your system.
 
It started the same way for me bro. The feeling of taking them at work was awesome, it made work seem so much easier. It's important that you realize now before you're in to deep that you can only control it for so long. Suddenly you're going from just at work to another onewhen you get home to relax. Then another when you wake up. Before you know it you're taking 2,3,4 pills a day and its very hard to turn back at that point my friend. The only real way to get your mind off the cravings is going to be time. Switch to a healthy diet, limit your intake and eventually quit. Its not going to be something you want to do but you HAVE to do it. I ended up regretting the last year of my life completely because I fell back into the same pattern you're starting on. I'm wishing you the best. Pm me if you ever want to chat about it.
 
Dave A said:
It started the same way for me bro. The feeling of taking them at work was awesome, it made work seem so much easier. It's important that you realize now before you're in to deep that you can only control it for so long. Suddenly you're going from just at work to another onewhen you get home to relax. Then another when you wake up. Before you know it you're taking 2,3,4 pills a day and its very hard to turn back at that point my friend. The only real way to get your mind off the cravings is going to be time. Switch to a healthy diet, limit your intake and eventually quit. Its not going to be something you want to do but you HAVE to do it. I ended up regretting the last year of my life completely because I fell back into the same pattern you're starting on. I'm wishing you the best. Pm me if you ever want to chat about it.
Click to expand...

The post above sounds like what happened to me. I was super productive at work on the Percs. OP, you have a golden opportunity here to nip it in the bud. good luck!
 
starlett7 said:
I discovered dilaudids a few months ago and wasn't too crazy about them at the time, just did them once in a blue moon.
In the last month or so I got my hands on quite a few and started to really really enjoy mellowing out on them. Iv been doing at least one (4mg) almost every day. I don't think that's enough to be physically addicted or to have withdrawals but I'm definitly starting to feel a mental addiction. I love doing them at work now too which scares me a little bit because it just seems like a really bad sign.
Is this how addiction starts? Iv always been very controlled and responsible with my drug use until recently, a little bit with other substances as well but mostly just with dilaudids.

I'd love to hear people's experiences... how your addiction started or almost started?
Any advice on how to get your mind off that craving would be great too...
Click to expand...


I just relapsed, and now I'm on a run AGAIN. I was clean for over three years from heroin, I was an IV user. I snorted a bag of dope about a month ago, and I've been getting high every day before work, after work, and before bed time. It started with just a half a bag a night, here and there, on the weekends. But quickly just went full fucking blown.

What is odd though, is this time around, I'm not shooting it. I feel like if I stay away from the needle, I may be able to control my addiction a little bit better. My hustle and scheme game is back, making quick money without stealing or selling anything I own. I come into cash a lot now, the manipulation and typical addict behaviors are apparent. I isolate most of the time...

I'm pretty high right now, so please pardon the run on and scrambled thoughts and sentences. I'm half fried from all the hallucinogens I've done.

But if you can, nip it in the butt now. I find it's easier to stop if you're snorting something as opposed to shooting it. I can go to work if I don't have a bump, if I was IVing it, I wouldn't have a job. I would've quit, and I'd already be homeless, because when I get high, I succumb to the life style of it all. I've been doing it for ten years now. First time I've snorted it instead of shooting it. I hit the vein twice, and decided I didn't like it as much as I used to.

All in all, you're probably gonna have some withdrawls, I don't know much about dilaudid, but so far when I've gone almost two days without doing heroin, I got mild withdrawls...nothing I couldn't handle, and not nearly as bad as the sickness from shooting dope.

I apologize for this fragmented diatribe...ha!
 
It is insidious, it will sneak up and bite you in the ass before you know it. Very quickly it will go from occasional use to your whole life revolving around it. Where if you don't have it, you will do what it takes to get it. Where you can't go without...my boyfriend and l started messing around with pills and ended up shooting H. Like everyone else has said, get out while you're still ahead.
 
It was said before, but looking at it from the perspective of someone who has gone through this insidious process countless times (i.e., myself), use of any opiate can theoretically be the start of an addiction.

Philosophical debate aside, however, your usage patterns resemble very closely those of myself and others who have begun by dipping our toes in the warm waters of opiated bliss and, just as suddenly, found ourselves submerged in terrifyingly murky depths of confusion, despair and sickness.

You also alluded to the fact that you've noticed a (somewhat) spike in your usage of hydromorphone lately? To me, that is the biggest red flag of them all. What begins with a small escalation in usage usually ends with an involuntary de-escalation in usage, the de-escalation being prompted by the destitution and pennilessness that only active opiate addiction is capable of spurring.

What I can, and will, say in response to your original question? Tread lightly. Please tread very lightly. From one human being to another, I can not in good conscience NOT suggest that you continue your rate of use of hydromorphone, because it is a likelihood that you will soon suffer the consequences many of us have.

Be well; take care of yourself always.

<3

~ Vaya
 
Thanks for all your caring words and advice. I appreciate reading everyone personal experiences with opiates and/or opiate addiction.

Today was my first day of not indulging after two weeks of daily use.
So far I don't feel anything but somewhat depressed and I'm not sure if that's related.
Part of what's helping me avoid doing any is the fact that my tolerance has increased significantly and I can't financially afford to keep this up. Probably a bad motivator but better than nothing?

When does withdrawal usually kick in?
 
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