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The Benzodiazepine Thread v. IV

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great posts singularity!

I think I am almost over it. Most of the problem is now I have to deal with all the emotions that I have been blocking out for the last few weeks. They do need to have to be dealt with, but I don't think I ever acknowledged how angry I was and am. Because that more than any other emotion has just come flooding in.

i went out and had some beers last night. woke up feeling pretty fucking shaky. yesterday morning I was sweating alot and I could feel my body shaking slightly, but I am finding that the physical withdrawal symptoms are pretty easy to ignore if you don't pay attention to them.
 
Yep, really excellent post, Singularity. Thanks for taking the time to put it down here, it's really valuable.

I could not agree more with everything you said. But you definitely had a bigger and more challenging experience than I did with those quantities. I honestly can't imagine the trip back from massive doses like that, and I don't even want to try to imagine it.

You've elaborated, with much greater eloquence, on the 'retarded dissociation' I mentioned, and I find your post very comforting because your lucid writing and self-awareness of the experience demonstrate that it is possible for someone to come back from that place of being so messed up internally that it feels like permanent brain damage has occurred.

I've ridden out bad trips on psychedelics before, and endured through opiate withdrawals, and crawled through stimulant come downs, all by using coping mechanisms I've built up over years of dealing with depression and mood instability. I have experienced enough ups and downs to know that things will get better and to trust that simply going on will see me into a better place. HOWEVER, clonazepam is the only thing that has twisted my perception so completely into knots that I couldn't apply those coping mechanisms. I just lost all perspective and fully associated with that state of confusion and unreality. It was fucking horrible. I'm so glad I can use the past tense with that sentiment.

I want to reiterate your comments about persisting through it, so that anyone who's reading and wondering "Have I fucked myself up forever?" can get a bit of hope and keep going, because you WILL recover eventually. It's not a fast process, but you'll get there, and when you come home to yourself you'll have this great new appreciation of your wondrous cognitive functions and never take them for granted again (hopefully8().

Finally, (sounds like an essay, I know, I'm a wordy bastard), I want to echo the point you make about clonazepam, or benzos in general, having their place in medicine. It's worth repeating this because I think this points to the very crux of the issue of substance use and personal accountability: Whatever the substance, it is ultimately the responsibility of the individual consuming it to know as much as possible about it and to be the 'driver' of the consumption experience (unless you are having something administered against your own free will - as an inpatient, for instance).
 
dragonslayer428 said:
Everyone is different. I got off benzos at one point in my life and was taking clonidine. I lasted about 6 months until I started to feel anxiety again. I'm diagnosed with OCD, ADD, Anxiety and Depression and Panic Disorder since I was 18 years old. Had my first panic attack at 12 years old. Believe me, I hate having to take benzos, but it does help. I also attend therapy twice a week. I take a quite a bit of medication, but I'm no spring chicken anymore. To say that any DR. that treats long term with benzos is wrong, is a moronic statement. Maybe you 'feel great' and alll that shit, but some people don't. Everyone's body and brain chemistry is different. So, get a clue before you go spouting out stupid statements as such.
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I donno why I even bother to reply to your post, I really feel for you having severe case of anxiety but it seems to me that you have no idea of the long term effects of benzos are. The longer you are on them the more rebound effect you will have when u decide to cemm off them. If you take them from example 18 years of age all the way til your middle age, do you think your problems will be solved? Maybe but more likely the answer would be no. Or are you planning to be on them for the rest of your life? It really makes me wonder why such a young person like yourself is having to take that much medication at once, you may or may have no contributed to it Im not aware of your full situation so I cant comment on that. Anxiety medications are prescribed for very short term use to treat the symptoms not the cause but I think I already have mentioned that in my previous post. Its a good step u have taken to do therapies, Im pretty sure you know what u need to do and why ur doing the therapies. You just want reassurance and peace of mind that its all good. Good luck with it man, I really hope you solve your issues, I really do.
 
i think what sustanon is trying to say is medications are not solving the problem simply masking the symptoms...they are not a means to an end but more rather a band aid solution.

it might be an idea to try to find the root of your anxiety rather than just numbing / hiding the symtpoms...are you seeing the same Dr or have you seeked alternative opinions from different Drs? there are a lot of Dr prescribing shit unnecessarily...it is a business after all.

when i was in junior school i was diagnosed by a childrens psych to have add/adhd they wanted to dose me up on all sorts of speeds, ritz, dex etc...my parents sought a second opinion and the second Dr. wasnt surprised that i was being pushed into taking meds that were more than likely unneeded.

get some more doctors / psychs opinions please!! i too hope you can improve your mental health...hopefully without drugs. dosing meds day in day out aint healthy...

does your family have past history of mental health issues? all the best!
 
what are peoples thoughts with Xanax Vs Kpins? Ive been RXd xanax 2mg x50 with 3 repeats, never tried K pins. what differences to both have on the feelings and effects?
 
pretty confident my benzo withdrawals are completely gone.

I was wondering if the withdrawals are gone would it be alright to take .5mg xanax? Just to chill out a little. or would this throw the withdrawals right back on after it wears off?
 
psytaco said:
pretty confident my benzo withdrawals are completely gone.

I was wondering if the withdrawals are gone would it be alright to take .5mg xanax? Just to chill out a little. or would this throw the withdrawals right back on after it wears off?
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if i was you i'd wait a week or 2 mate.its better to be safe than sorry.you dont wanna go through all that shit again do ya?
 
indybreaker said:
what are peoples thoughts with Xanax Vs Kpins? Ive been RXd xanax 2mg x50 with 3 repeats, never tried K pins. what differences to both have on the feelings and effects?
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xanax is much faster acting and short lasting compared to klopins,xanax is much better for pannic attacks while klopin is much better for day to day anxiety and sleeping problems.well in my case anyway.for recreational use i would pefer xanax but a large dose of klopin can have you going head first into the corner of a brick wall a knocking your self out.trust me i know :\
 
3 Valium 10's below my tongue. Finding myself absolutely super tolerant to any benzo after 2 major intentional overdoses.

First OD, 150mg valium, 40mg xanax and half a bottle of scotch. (Although the xanax may have been generic 2mg making it 80mg, this is unclear..)

2nd OD, 178mg Clonazepam, and some valium, midazolam, xanax and others (possibly nitrazepam... can't really remember, such a haze)

These OD's are months and months ago, one over 10, the other over 3 months ago. Yet I can't ever catch a buzz from any amount of valium or xanax or clonazepam, takes me 6 2mg clonazepam just to feel relief from anxiety, xanax @7mg for anxiety relief, and valium..... haven't even tried....

Has anyone had any concrete experiences with tolerance and large (but not continuous) amounts of benzodiazepines ?

I have the suppliment GABA here in powder form which I'm thinking of capping up and taking, I remember taking this with a measly 1mg xanax fairly recently (1month ago) and managed to sleep, something that usually would require up to 75mg of seroquel or 150mg (as last night) to do!
 
Stato said:
Has anyone had any concrete experiences with tolerance and large (but not continuous) amounts of benzodiazepines ?
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Yes, I have extensive experience dosing large amounts of benzos on and off. I found tolerance to benzos to be all over the shop. Sometimes I would dose 25mg of alprazolam and get fucked up, and sometimes I literally wouldn't feel shit. This happened with clonazepam and diazepam also.

A. <3
 
Great.

50mg valium, 2mg xanax and 320mg dihydrocodeine and unknown amount (120mg?) DXM had be in a good place last night. Only needed 25mg seroquel to sleep and I have chronic insomnia.
 
Stato said:
3 Valium 10's below my tongue. Finding myself absolutely super tolerant to any benzo after 2 major intentional overdoses.

First OD, 150mg valium, 40mg xanax and half a bottle of scotch. (Although the xanax may have been generic 2mg making it 80mg, this is unclear..)

2nd OD, 178mg Clonazepam, and some valium, midazolam, xanax and others (possibly nitrazepam... can't really remember, such a haze)

These OD's are months and months ago, one over 10, the other over 3 months ago. Yet I can't ever catch a buzz from any amount of valium or xanax or clonazepam, takes me 6 2mg clonazepam just to feel relief from anxiety, xanax @7mg for anxiety relief, and valium..... haven't even tried....

Has anyone had any concrete experiences with tolerance and large (but not continuous) amounts of benzodiazepines ?

I have the suppliment GABA here in powder form which I'm thinking of capping up and taking, I remember taking this with a measly 1mg xanax fairly recently (1month ago) and managed to sleep, something that usually would require up to 75mg of seroquel or 150mg (as last night) to do!
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where you the guy that OD'ed on cam in the bluelight chat room :\ uncool man we were so worried
 
hey guys, scored a clonazepam 1mg/1mL IV sterile glass bottle. I dont know how much is in there because it only states those details 'sterile clonazepam concentrate' i dont want to inject it as its designed for it, but what would be the best, drink it?
really enjoyed clonaz. not sure if it was the CWE aswell ontop of it, but ive had done cwes about 15 times and never felt like this. but yeah was great.
 
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manged to get prescribed triazolam.has anyone else had these?idono if its just me but after taking them i've been having real vivid sometimes quite violent dreams where i feel alot of pain :\
 
junkie skumbag said:
manged to get prescribed triazolam.has anyone else had these?idono if its just me but after taking them i've been having real vivid sometimes quite violent dreams where i feel alot of pain :\
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I really enjoy triazolam for falling asleep, it works super fast and has an extremely short half-life. Plus those little glass halcion bottles are awesome...

I never experienced the vivid dreams from it.

So guys... The dreaded finally happened. My doctor told me his hands were tied and that he couldn't prescribe me benzos anymore because the pharmacy board of australia wrote him a letter.

:( This happened when I hadn't picked up a script for any benzo in like 6 months too...
 
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