Bupe Subutex dose and tolerance question

[AnrBjotk]

So, I've been on 2mg subutex for 12 months now. Legally, that is. I take it partly due to obvious addiction and craving, and for chronic depression (dysthymia).
Thing is, for the 12 months the effects have been incredible, almost too good, no decrease in effect at all. After dividing the dose into three separate doses taken at morning, lunch and dinner time the effects even improved.

However(!) for the last four weeks I have been feeling Really, really bad. Now, this is absolutely mainly due to a severe depressive episode, nervous breakdown if you will, and genuine suicidal wishes, but I also wonder if I have WD's in addition.
I'm no stranger to depression. But never before has depression made me feel This way. I feel physically sick, muscle pain, lack of motivation and energy, trouble sleeping, and anxiety attacks.

It's hard to tell since my life situation is so poor these days, but seeing as I fear submitting to suicide unless things improve, but would you think it was some sort of tolerance/wd-issue? I've been reluctant to increase the dose, since staying on 2mg is preferable when I one day decide to quit all-together.

I suppose the main question is: Is it possible to stay on 2mg for over a year? Or are increases inevitable?

If I increase to 4mg, would that mean I would have take two 2mg or half 8 mg, since there is no 4 mg?

Sorry to dump my issues here, but, I really need some advice and my doctor's is a real a-hole in terms of helping me with these issues.

Thanks in advance.

 

[caseface99]

We really wouldn't be able to tell you with any accuracy. The only thing you can do is increase your dose a mg or two and see for yourself.

Good Luck with the depression, Blue Light has a support forum for these issues if you truly fear you may commit suicide, though you must know it isn't a viable option based on what you've said here already.

 

[AnrBjotk]

(...) for these issues if you truly fear you may commit suicide, though you must know it isn't a viable option based on what you've said here already.

Suicide is always a viable option.
I always knew it would happen one day, just always postponed it.

 

[mrflowers00]

it's sounds like straight depression to me but i'm not certain

 

[caseface99]

Viable option may have been the wrong phrase to put, I'll admit. I meant was that you don't WANT to do it, you just don't know what else to do about your depression. If you wanted to kill yourself you wouldn't be putting it off.

If it helps, scientists are getting better at being able to test for neurotransmitter imbalances. It's probably still incredibly expensive, but is that worse than death? Within a few years you may be able to find out exactly what sort of imbalance you have, and hence take exactly what you need instead of playing the traditional game of "antidepressant roulette".

I'd also like to mention that unless you're planning on being on bupe for life, it will make it worse in the long run. Getting off of it after a few years is harder then getting off a gram and a half of china white. (in my experience, which was hellish - indeed, but short lived - bupe detox is not)