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The Benzodiazepine Thread v. IV

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Im hooked to the shithouse on Xanax :( .. my doc said it would take a month or more, but i had a nears-seizure when i went cold turkey after 10 days. Im on it again cause the panic attack was so severe and scary!! Ive been taking valium for YEARS and found it NOWHERE NEAR as addictive as Xanax. I was hooked on valium for a few months but it was relatively easy to kick. BUt the Xanax is a mother!!!'

IF ANYONE HAS HINTS ON HOW TO GET OFF IT PLEASE TELL ME! I'm only taking 1-2mg a day


WC
 
I took 10mg this morning, as I have every morning for about a week. Later on, I scored 6 2mg alprazolam bars, ate 4mg, wasn't satisfied after about an hour, took another 2mg. Definitely had a significant anxiolytic effect but the daily diazepam dosage has definitely raised my tolerance within just a week. 4mg would have been plenty a week or two ago, 6-8mg too much. Not now. Gotta not get addicted to these pills again, even though Valium is so comforting whilst avoiding opiates. Surely a short term diazepam habit won't compare with coming off 50-80mg alprazolam or 100mg of clonazepam if we couldn't source a bottle of xannies. And it will keep me off the smack!

Trade one addiction for another, blah, blah.

Ash. <3
 
Yeah xanax/alpraz can be a bitch. Whenever I get some now Im so much more disciplined than I used to be. Ill give myself a buffer for guilt free self indulgence then split the rest into halves. As an example say I have 30 1mg tablets I mentally designate 15 for splitting into halves and using responsibly and the other 15 for being a benzo abusing mother fucker. Obviously the first 15 may only last 3, 4 or 5 days.... because lets face it, the fun of drugs is the "fuck it" attitude that we (us folks who enjoy drugs ;)) have that allow us to purge our bullshit instantly with an impulsive decision to have 2mg instead of 1 and the excitement that impulsive decisions like that make allow you to forget about your own bullshit.

Because impulsive decisions are fun. but planned out deliberate and responsible decisions arent fun.

But anyway talking alpraz specifically even after a week of maybe 3 or 4mg a day even 0.5mg can still have a positive effect on mood and anxiety alleviation. For instance, you know that shitty feeling in the morning where you wake up, take a piss, go back to bed and snooze for a bit, then essentially youre internal dialog is awake in your head and it starts doing its circular bullshit, seemingly on autopilot, and you can feel the anxiety rising inside you..... etc etc.

Well Ive found instead of going through this bullshit routine every morning just because I dont wanna get up and desperately want to get another hours sleep..... well forcing yourself to get up before the merry-go-round in your head starts up...... make yourself a coffee.... and drop a 0.5mg alpraz. It fuckin works. It really does because youre not thinking of having fun or getting high, you just wanna wake up and feel strong and comfortable within yourself and ready to tackle the day. Well I swear I could be doing 5 or 6mg a day in 1 or 2mg doses, yet despite this calmly easing yourself into the day with 0.5mg can absolutely work and is a great way to start the day off on a positive note.

.... then I might give myself a 2mg per day limit and have the other 0.5mgs and various times during the day. The shit works mother fucker. The shit works.

Basically my point is totally have fun with it because it can be super fun, but used responsibly with discipline and a sense of purpose the shit can work wonders. Its taken me a while to get to this point but I feel like Im finally starting to 'get it'.
 
it goes for all benzos. but alpraz. due to its short half life will seem worse. On any benzo. you have to tapper sllowly and depending on which one slower the better for all - pissed.
 
Hi,

So how do I start - Basically this... I take alprazolam once every few months, whenever I do, I go out and buy like 20 thinking and hoping it will last me more then two weeks.

The problem I have is self control, EVERY time and I mean every single time I have bought xanax I always eat all of them over the weekend, wether it's 10, 20, 50 and this has happened 6 + times.

So I have tried hiding them around my room, I've put them in a locked box and put the box behind my cupboard, I've given them to a friend to look after (spent 30 minutes rambling to her about why I need them now) I've tried saying to myself just take one, only one! No matter what, I will always go and find them, eat them then only remember 10% of the weekend.

What my question is: What's the best way, what are the tricks, what can I do so I just limit myself to the one 2mg xanax?

The only option I have now is to just buy one or two at a time... Then there is just the self control or whatever it is called but I just don't have any of that and this has been proven the last 6 times.

Advice:

GOGOGOGO

Cheers,

MM
 
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Your playing with fire Xanax can kill you dead as smack can. Speaking of smack never ever go near it, same goes for coke and crystal. If you are as drug greedy as you say you are you have an addictive personality and you should avoid the more addictive drugs like the plague.

Play safe dude

A voice in the back of my head is repeating will power / self control is a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets...I think I'm watching too much tv...and now I want a smoke. :\
 
One - maybe just buy less?
Two - there is very little control when you're in the state that you don't remember next day. The earlier you say definitely no, the easier it is to stop. I believe that in your case you'd need to say it when you're still underfucked ; )
Three - you can try giving it to a person who will say "fuck you and go home" after 5 seconds of you explaining why you need it.
The muscle analogy is also true.
 
laugh said:
Your playing with fire Xanax can kill you dead as smack can. Speaking of smack never ever go near it, same goes for coke and crystal. If you are as drug greedy as you say you are you have an addictive personality and you should avoid the more addictive drugs like the plague.

Play safe dude

A voice in the back of my head is repeating will power / self control is a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets...I think I'm watching too much tv...and now I want a smoke. :\
Click to expand...

I understand where you're saying, I've been told this before and yes, I do actually have an addictive personality - i'll just rumble on here, I started to try poker, got addicted for 2 years... tried weed, 5 or so years, tried pills... dot dot dot... came into xanax and just .....:D so yeah if I tried crystal then another dot dot dot... hmmm so yeah true true.

mindtools said:
One - maybe just buy less?
Two - there is very little control when you're in the state that you don't remember next day. The earlier you say definitely no, the easier it is to stop. I believe that in your case you'd need to say it when you're still underfucked ; )
Three - you can try giving it to a person who will say "fuck you and go home" after 5 seconds of you explaining why you need it.
The muscle analogy is also true.
Click to expand...


Two - yeah, no control at all... so the sooner I say alrightttt that's it for today, when i'm actually in a bit of control is the best to just stop.
Three - i ummmm well, I just don't know what the muscle analogy is?

but yeahhhhhhhhhh thanks for advice laugh and mind!

ohh ohh i almost forgot ;)... i'll slip a thinly veiled brag - i just had the one 2mg tonight but brown ally in melb was just another dot dot dot of DOT of amazing
 
the psyc i went to on friday gave me 50x2mg xannies with 3 repeats....wtf? i didnt even hit him up for them either , i just said i was abusing alchohol a bit too much lately (which is true) . got a big glass bottle of them staring at me right now and have no desire to munch on any. i do get panic attacks tho (which have died down alot since being on an ssri) so will just have the 150 xanax on stand by ahah!
 
starting to get a little worried. i have been on benzos pretty solidly for two weeks now. doses range between 10-20mg valium a night. I now have 2 x 5mg valium left and smy ex gave my 8 x .5mg xanax.

i guess no one can tell me if I will have withdrawals if i stop taking them now. I can probably sleep without them, so will start taking restavit. I have been addicted before but that was 40-60mg a day over a month. i did a rough taper, and went straight down to 15mg and dropped by 2mg every two days. it was fucking horrible though.

One if I do get withdrawals from what I have currently been taking, it shouldn't be too bad will it? I can probably get by without going on a tapering plan. also, in people's experience if you tell a doctor you are experiencing withdrawal and want to taper will most comply. or will they just say tough shit?

I guess all I can do is be strong, and save the rest for I really need them. and then seek help if I need it.
 
I find w/d are only if you let them to be......Ive been on many benzo binges for months and gone cold turkey and felt fine....mind u , others are different. Just try not put everything into the word WITHDRAWL or you will think any burp, fart, or stomach ache is a sign of it and then ull freak out , have a panic attack and hoped you still had some. you'll (in my opinion) be fine. just eat right, keep distracted and youll be fine.
 
clonazapam has stoped working for me now :( i've been dosing benzos daily for close to a month now (5-15mg of valium during the day and 2-4mg of clonazapam at night) all they do is make me feel hungry as FUCK,been put on a trail of oxezapam chemist fucked up and gave me a full bottle of 30mg's insted of 5 of them SCORE :D its been ages since i've taken any oxezapam the doctor said its pretty close to xanax in strength.how does it compare to valium (for anxiety) and clonazapam (for sleep)? and would it be safe to take 1 30mg tablet with some poppy seed tea to potentate?i know mixing CNS depressants is risky but i just want to know if they are as strong as the doctor is making them out to be.i usually take 2mg of clonaz of 5-10mg of valium along with a PST
 
junkie skumbag said:
been put on a trail of oxezapam chemist fucked up and gave me a full bottle of 30mg's insted of 5 of them SCORE :D its been ages since i've taken any oxezapam the doctor said its pretty close to xanax in strength.how does it compare to valium (for anxiety) and clonazapam (for sleep)? and would it be safe to take 1 30mg tablet with some poppy seed tea to potentate?i know mixing CNS depressants is risky but i just want to know if they are as strong as the doctor is making them out to be.i usually take 2mg of clonaz of 5-10mg of valium along with a PST
Click to expand...

Yeah I had this happen once. was prescribed 25 x 5mg valium but the pharmacist gave me 50 by mistake. big smile on my face when I left the pharmacist. there is something to be said for going to one of the big chain pharmacies at 5.30pm.

i found oxazepam to be amazing for anxiety. I stuck to the recommended doses when going through SSRI withdrawal and needing to deal with rebound anxiety. worked very well. i didn't find them good for sleep nor for recreational use though.

As for using them PST. In the interests of harm min, DON'T. You know as well as I do that it could kill you, and PST is hard to gauge how much opiates your getting. If you dose to high on either it could kill you. save the benzo and opiate mix for the softer opiates like codeine. even then probably not a good idea, although lets face it plenty of us do it.
 
I have been given 50 diazepam instead of 25 on numerous occassions, it really is a good feeling when you walk out and open the box to see twice as many pills as there should be. Especially since it pretty much costs the same for 50 as 25.

I don't have personal experience with oxazepam but if my memory serves me it has a notably shorter half life than alprazolam does. Again, I haven't used the stuff, but I have been lead to believe it is not as strong as xanax.
 
i found oxazepam to be my least favourit benzo, as it takes aaaaaaaaages to work i kept redosing n redosing then woke up in the morning not remember a thing
 
Psytaco, have you tried Phenibut? If you are worried about benzo addiction, I've heard Phenibut can be useful for tapering off.
Dependence-forming in itself, but maybe mixing things up would be a good idea at this point.
Obviously no advice received on Bluelight can substitute the medical advice of your prescribing doctor though.
Be careful dude...
 
im not even going to go there with phenibut......worse drug ive ever takn. i was fucked for 4 days . Major vertigo, major heart pulpitations, crossed vision, sweats, anxiety, throwing up , diarrhea, couldnt talk properly, ewwww. jst thinking of that again, that shits horrrible!
 
How much did you take? Did you weigh your dose? Mix it with other drugs?
It does last for a long time, but I find between 1 and 2 grams fairly pleasant.
I've heard though that some of the batches going around make you feel like shit no matter how much (how little) you take.
 
me and a mate the first time did about 2g each and had a great time on it, giggles and laughed heaps , stumbling around like we were drunk. woke up fine, bittle stumbly......however second time we did it (we are as bad as each other) we kept dosing and dosing ended up prob doing 9 or 10 g each . i didnt start throwin up till after i went to sleep on it and the effects were intense the whole duration of the 4 days. and funny story (sorry this is gettn off the benzo subject but its a good story)
the morning after of the 10g binge i staggered into work thinking ok i can get thru this (as my job is only me on the site) but today was different. my boss told me that there was a US film crew shooting a doco on the company that is now broadcasted all over usa and asia. when they interviewed me all I kept thinking was of how much I had pirate eye going, it was hilarious how I must of looked , so Ill try and find the footage of it hahah.
 
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