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Changing of Seasons

RedLeader

RedLeader

Bluelight Crew
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तमसोमा ज्योतिर् गमया
We're coming up on that time of the year again, where it's either getting colder or getting warmer for you. I find that the changing of seasons triggers me like crazy. What about you? And how do you cope with these triggers so that you can make it another few months without going back to the old ways?

Personally, I'm coming up on the one year anniversaries of a lot of bad events in my life, and I know that even subtle things like holiday music, sports on television or seeing schoolbusses again is going to mess with me. And the cold weather, which I hate, is going to feel even colder this year without any synthetic heat in me. It's going to be tough, but I'm going to just try and take it day-by-day.
 
Fall has always been a hard time for me to stay on track. Its my favorite time of the year, but I associate it with some much negative shit. But Im gonna spend it all with the kiddo to stay on track this year. Im pumped and excited, jumping in piles of leaves with my daughter, hiking through crispy forrest floor trails with the fallen leaves, grilling out over a bon fire, pumpkin carving and helpinh her pick out a costume for halloween and then takin her trick or treating. Im so happy I got my head back on striaght this past week, just in time for autumn.
 
^That's awesome. I'm glad you'll be able to enjoy this autumn. :) <3

Fall and winter have always been tough for me. November and December are especially difficult months as a lot of negative things have happened in the past during those months. Like RedLeader, I just try to take it all day by day and remind myself that spring is just around the corner even though in reality I live in a place where it's pretty much 6 months of winter. I force myself to go outside (despite the cold) and just stay as busy as possible so I don't have too much time to think about the past and the cold. Hopefully this year I can get to a warmer place during the middle of the winter. Even if it's just a few days, I think it would help out quite a bit. Maybe some day I'll be able to move to a non tundra like climate le sigh.
 
RL I'm with you bro, fall is my bday and it reminds me of going back to school (highschool was swhen opiates started). The crisp weather and leaves - everything - it all triggers me. I went on SSRI because I've been so depressed trying and failing getting / staying clean, aside from that I'm going to keep as busy as possible w training. You can always hit me up bro, you know where to find me.
 
Well there has definitely been a rise in temperature here lately, thank you Spring :)
The transition from Winter to Spring usually opens up a floodgate of social events and parties to the community of Sydney.
I have already seen events planned out for the rest of the year!
Freshly warm spring weather is perfect for getting outdoors with friends and enjoying life, but amongst the good times, there also seems to be an increase in open recreational drug use. Very triggering for some - totally fine with others.
In the most recent years, I have let myself totally blend into that somewhat abusive culture.. I have been pressured into taking things and I have witnessed others under pressure also.
I am making a new approach to this years change of season.
It's fine to get out and enjoy these beautiful days, but people need to know the importance of reducing triggering behaviours in social events.
 
^haha :D I like to think I'd love to live in a place where it's always nice, but then I think part of me would miss the seasons even though they can be difficult to deal with at times.
 
It hit 90 degrees at 100% humidity here near the Lou. Fall for me has traditionally been bonfire/get fucked up weather. Especially winter is gonna be rough as i dont tolerate cold well and my dope kept me warm. Also january is my 1 year clean so i got a lot going on to keep me busy til then. I got a lot of bluelight to keep me busy :)
 
I like Autumn, I think it's underrated. I like being able to dress up warm and when I go out for the night I like it to be dark. Basically tho once it's been one season for a while I start looking forward to the next one.

Sorry to hear it's a hard time for you. Try to keep busy and arrange lots of activities. Meet up with friends as much as you can.
 
Even though autumn in the northeast (new England) can be beautiful, I always find that it makes me depressed and feel a sense of nostalgia. The winter just makes me downright depressed and miserable, especially around the holidays...
 
Sunny days seem to improve most peoples mood slightly so its not surprising a lot of people might feel a little down when that sunshine starts to go away. You can sort of see why the aztecs worshipped the sun.
 
Sun increases natural serotonin (MY NAME!!!) production. Also some of us suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and don't realize it. Hopefully I won't have snow up to my ass this winter as I hate shoveling (ice sucks even more). I agree though, I love being out at night. Once the sun goes down I feel more alive and joyous, like that feeling of being a "rebel" =D
 
Tonight I was exposed to the smell of a car's heater doing battle with the scent of the cold autumn air...and instantly my entire body wanted heroin. I had not been exposed to this sensual battle since last year at this time, when I'd be smelling that each morning before I went to score.

It's that kind of stuff that's just going to be, well, annoying for the next few months. That's just one example, but there are plenty. And the thing is...you might be able to predict what they will be even, but until you actually go through the sensual exposure the first time, you're not really prepared for the intensity of the trigger.
 
I love Autumn.

And I love this topic!

Autumn is beautiful to me in a two-pronged way. Odd. It represents the time where I most easily slip into a peaceful, mindful and thoroughly contemplative state whereby I am more able to review the successes and failures I call my own ranging from January through August. I like the quietude Autumn bestows upon my psyche, because there is often much of true significance to be contemplated on during this time. I learn much.

Aside from that, the visually stunning presentation Mother Nature performs warms my spirit like a cozy blanket. Similarly, I eagerly anticipate those months where comfy sweatshirts and courdoroy pants become my standard garb <3

On the opposite end of the spectrum of the appreciation I feel for Autumn is the foreshadowing of an inevitably long, dim and arduous period to follow which we choose to call Winter. I like Winter, but it often becomes a bit of a struggle for my emotional balance-beam to remain in equilibrium.

This "loss of balance" terrified me as a child and adolescent. But these days, I recognize the role of hardship in my life - that the more difficult a 24-hour period becomes, the more oppor
 
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RedLeader said:
Tonight I was exposed to the smell of a car's heater doing battle with the scent of the cold autumn air...and instantly my entire body wanted heroin. I had not been exposed to this sensual battle since last year at this time, when I'd be smelling that each morning before I went to score.

It's that kind of stuff that's just going to be, well, annoying for the next few months. That's just one example, but there are plenty. And the thing is...you might be able to predict what they will be even, but until you actually go through the sensual exposure the first time, you're not really prepared for the intensity of the trigger.
Click to expand...
It doesn't matter the season--Whenever I drive into Buffalo, not only do the first couple exits trigger me since that's where I'd go to meet my dealer, but there's an actual smell in the air that smells like heroin. It's Cheerio's as there's a factory nearby, but it smells like dope. It sucks. I feel ya. <3
 
Totally agree with pastelcircus.

I used to notice that I would get really down & fatigued during winter, but really happy & energetic during summer, and it was more than just being on holidays. It wasn't until I got a blood test and realized what the cause was: very deficient in vitamin D and the condition is "seasonal affective disorder" (SAD). I started taking a supplement (Ostelin) and the change was VERY noticeable, overall just much more positive and happy even during the depths of winter gloom. A whopping 1/3 of all adults here in Australia are badly vit.D deficient (and we're the sunburnt country, so just imagine what that number must be in colder climates!!).


Sunlight -> Vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol) -> Calcifediol -> Calcitriol -> Increased uptake of calcium from gut into blood -> This calcium controls communication between neurons -> Conversion of the amino acids to neurotransmitters , tryptophan to serotonin, and tyrosine to dopamine and norepinephrine -> The difference between you feeling great or feeling like ass.
 
I agree with amino acid :)

I have incredibly low levels of vitamin d (found out last year from the doctor) and a self-diagnosed case of sad.

Not to mention, environmental triggers, emotional triggers, and financial triggers all kick me in the ass simultaneously during this part of the year.

It used to be my favorite, now I'm not so sure.
 
Has anyone here tried Phototherapy before?

My parents met as graduate students on their endeavor for their Ph.D's in clinical psychology, and in 1993 my mom was given a light box to beta-test in her practice.

It's as large as a briefcase and bright as hell, but thy now make them in many, many varieties - ones so small you could clip it to the brim of a baseball hat) - that are more plausible.

Anyway, this is precisely the box I still own today after it was passed down to me, and this is the time of year when I begin to use it. ~20-25 minutes in the morning - more, and the exposure actually begins to affect me oppositely.

I highly recommend it, as I have SAD (what an appropriate acronym...) and experience great benefit from it after many years. Beats the hell outta more medication, too!

I also supplement with Vitamin D each day, as previously suggested.

Stay well, everyone :)

~ Vaya
 
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