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BDD Social/Info Booth v.27 - Mugz is a habitual meph-ender

Renz Envy said:
This is ridiculous. I need to sleep. I've taken all of my clonazepam (like 5 hours ago) 75mg of DPH, 10mg of melatonin, 2,000mg of L-tryptophan, Valerian Root, GABA and now I'm going to try Gingko Biloba. Still can't sleep.

Sigh. The stupid shit I do while drunk.
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If it makes you feel better, I'll take 300mg of DPH with an anti-psychotic like quetiapine or olanzapine, and melatonin, and I'll get about 3 hours of sleep...if by GABA you mean gabapentin...that stuff is pretty useless for severe insomnia...clonazepam didn't help me much with sleep...ProSom, Halcion, and Restoril are the good benzos for sleep...If you have a Rx for clonazepam, see if the doctor would mind giving you ProSom...that one worked the best for me...

and melatonin has no clinical significance beyond 3mg...

@Beachcat, is this your decision to go without? What all opioids were you on?
 
Well, yes and no on it being my decision. I was being scripted 60 mgs MS Contin twice a day and 30 mgs roxi 5 times a day by my PCP for a long time for back issues and migraine. I liked it because I was numb all the time, but I knew that I was physically dependent and that scared the hell out of me.

Then,my PCP was taken over by our hospital network, which has a policy that chronic pain patients cannot be treated with narcotics, and I got a letter telling me that I was no longer a patient, which sucked and also terrified me.

Luckily, my back doctor who had seen me in the past and had given me the epidural injection also specializes in pain management. He gave me a huge wake up call while still being compassionate. He said I was too young to be on that level of meds and that the next step for me was implanting a pain pump in my body. He immediately reduced my oxy down to 10 mgs twice a day and worked .with me over the past 5 months or so to taper off the MS Contin.

My goal is to be free of physical dependence, not be opiate free. I see now that I can manage my pain reasonably with what I have. I have seen with the last drop in dose a huge increase in the amount of constant pain I feel in my back, sometimes it is unbearable.

For that reason, when I go back in a few weeks I will ask him to increase my oxy ir to either 15 mgs twice a day or to 10 mgs three times a day.

Also, this time, I really am going to give at least half of them to my husband to hold. Ni really do take them too fast, partly because I like the way they make me feel and partly because I want to get them all gone as soon as possible so I don't have withdrawal...sick thinking, but I know I can get over this with a little time.

So, yeah, that's my novel.....I am ultimately glad to be where I am....my back will only get worse and I was getting scared about what pain management options I would have in the future...I had hand surgery while my tolerance was so high and nothing they gave me in hospital could dull that pain....I had to sneak large amounts of my own oxy just to get comfortable, which was really scary...also, I kind of want to have another child, and I would never get pregnant on those doses of meds, so now I can at least entertain that option....
 
mmmmmmm, morning morphine and diazepam accompanied by a bowl of wheat bix topped with fresh strawberries and banana and a twirling of honey =D

high and dry before 630, like a boss.
 
Had a 14 hour panic attack. Slight stimulant overdose because I was drunk.

Drinking alcohol leads to stupid decisions.
However I just drank some delicious, salty, and euphoric GHB and my fears are all gone. My body is recovering and my appetite/sex drive is back. I'm currently smiling at how glad I am to be alive even though I've made so many stupid decisions regarding drugs and the people I associate with.
I should treat my body as my most valuable asset and not some piece of flesh fiending for pleasure. One day it will kill me.

I have come to the conclusion that I may be intelligent, but I have no self control.
 
Going back inpatient tomorrow if I can get in...Just had a nervous breakdown, and I have been entertaining the thought of suicide again more recently...Not to mention, my trip to the ER today kinda broke the camel's back...

Started out with just a little nausea which escalated to abdominal pain, which then became severe to the point it put me into a panic attack...

I started heading towards the urgent care clinic, and before I got out of my hometown (about 20 minutes from the clinic), my arms, legs, hands, and feet started going numb. At this point I put on my flashers, and started heading for the ER instead, doing about 95-100 weaving through traffic and running red lights-probably why the panic attack started getting worse.

I get about 5 miles from the hospital and my hands started closing up from lack of oxygen and I started to freak the fuck out (never had that happen in a panic attack before-at least not to the point that I couldn't use will power to hold them back) and pulled into the nearest gas station and had paramedics come pick me up...

BP was 168/90 (and I'm on clonidine for withdrawals atm and run low normally anyway, so that's bad for me) and my heart rate was 120-130 (as opposed to the 80 it normally is)...Got there, had to wait an hour to be seen, but the doc did me right (while I was there at least) and gave me a shot of morphine, ativan, phenergan, and protonix (not enough to feel a high or a rush even though lol)...they ran a CT of my abdomen and pelvis with dye, but it came back inconclusive...one of the paramedics thought that it could have been a drug interaction between tramadol, effexor, and zyprexa (which I fucking hate even more than seroquel)...

But because of my "intentional (not intentional, but didn't care what happened)" multi-drug "overdose (blackout and piss on the floor and fall over in it)" was sent home with 6...yes that's right SIX tramadol Rx'ed 1 tablet BID...HAHAHA! I laugh at that shit...that's like one dose...

But anyways...ya'll take care BDD, I should be out within a week...
 
Effie give it a try for sure! I've had 4-AcO-DMT. As it's been said and written, it's a very dreamy, sedating, and warm psychedelic. Sometimes even dream-like visions appear before your open eyes. Visuals are very shroom-like with morphing mirage like patterns with the vibrantly colorful, mystical visuals of DMT. One of the cleanest body-loads ever as well, actually, a pleasurable body high not too far off from MDMA at times. I definitely recommend.

Took some Tagament to potentiate my clonazepam. I also have some alprazolam to eat as well. Cannabis to top it off :)
 
Hi guys. Good luck Doug, I know what it is.

Renz Envy said:
I should treat my body as my most valuable asset and not some piece of flesh fiending for pleasure. One day it will kill me.
Click to expand...

Raise your ears, youngsters, that is one of the most profound things life can teach you. Your body is not eternal.

Otherwise, my last grams of hash in front of my eyes, I've decided not to buy any more.
 
Wassup guys, I recently acquired some methadone, now Iv'e never done it before and I don't have a opiate tolerance as I haven't used for about 2-3months. I have 25 mgs total with all 5 pills. I just have heard mixed stories with methadone and some people get high some don't?
 
See the thread, Sicc. Indeed, you can get high on methadone, but it's a very long acting opiate, be careful ;)

PJ, Beachcat, nice to see you :)
 
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