Dressed sexy for my man tonight and he didn't notice, damn you crack!!!!!

[shygirlluv]

So Idk if i'm writing this in the right spot , im new here.... HI ALL!!!!

Okay so my bf of 2 years ( Monday) has had an ongoing problem with crack/cocaine! Well he finally stopped about 2 months ago and I was over the moon happy, since he smokes it and since he's been smoking it for so long it gives him paranoia! BIG TIME! Its so frustrating, well we recently started doing ice together cus its makes us CRAZY FREAKY in bed, and we always have SO MUCH FUN! Well tonight he came home with a little bit of white and started smoking it and of course got all paranoid, so after he went down on me, I wasn't so mad at him anymore, lol and was convinced to do ice tonight. Well, usually ice just makes him freaky and all he wants to do is eat me out, from the second after he takes that first hit, and I was SO EXCITED! Usually he can smoke ice and he doesn't get paranoid, UNLESS he smokes TOO MUCH! Well I was feeling crazy freaky , horny and all he was doing was looking at the door ( afraid someone is gonna barge in , and window- thinking someone is outside ) he was totally ignoring me , so I went to my dressing and room and put on some black stilettos , a tiny ass skirt and sexy thong, no bra and I wore alot of pearls, ( have you seen that pic of Kim K that's the look I was going for ) I did my hair up and put on red lip stick , and I thought to myself now this will get his attention. (I forgot to mention that we've been watching porn for 4 hours, and still NO SEX! ) So he tells me you look sexy babe! THAT'S IT? WTF? That's what I get for getting all sexy for him, is you look nice, I can't stand watching him look out doors and windows all night! IT DRIVES ME CRRRRRRRRRAAAAZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYY!!! I need attention too, I wanted him to grab me and fuck the life out of me, that was about 2 hours ago and no, he's still here looking at the shadows under the door. Anyway I guess my question is all you who smoke your shit and get all paranoid, do you pay attention to your S.O if they are trying to hit on you, or do you pay attention if they dress up for you all sexy? AM I the ONLY one that's being ignored.... Thanks for letting me vent !!!! If some of this doesn't make since , its cus i'm ALOT wired right now, so pardon my grammar!


p.S I forgot to mention that every minutes he wants me to go look out the window....ugh

 

[RobotRipping]

the possibility of the shadow men breaking down the door are unfortunately a bigger priority than anything else. I once got a terribly sore neck from having to look sideways out of my window for the shadow people, nothing could pull me away from looking for them.

 

[pbuilder]

This belongs in your diary, maybe you shouldn't rely on drugs to enjoy your sex life.

 

[LilbabiC]

Unfortunately, drugs and a healthy sexual relationship do not usually pair well. Atleast, that's in my experience.

 

[Cornishman]

Rubbish. Drugs make sex awesome.
Your bf probably had poor quality cocaine.

 

[nAON]

Usually if you're in psychosis, seeing shadow people running running around and your mothers voice echoing around the room, getting your dick hard is the last thing on your mind.

For now i'd advice getting some booze or benzos into your bf (certainly no more stimulants), and then trying to fuck him again once he's at baseline.

 

[shygirlluv]

Rubbish. Drugs make sex awesome.
Your bf probably had poor quality cocaine.

Totally agree with both! LOL

 

[shygirlluv]

No we don't rely on drugs to have a better sex life , we have an awesome sex life, but we like freak things up every now and then, he doesn't see shadow ppl he just has paranoia. From smoking all these years...... But he made up for right after I wrote this! HAHA I was just venting , i was really talkative so I had to write down my thoughts! Thought i'd share!

 

[nAON]

Aha glad it's sorted, in future though try and keep content like this to your blog, as BDD is more a question-and-answer board for drug problems.

Closing thread.