Total of all digits (times referenced), 140. (and of course, one could play around in other ways, but I chose to stop there, for now.)
I looked for exit 203 that I didn't realize was exit 203, that I have been taking for the past two months, for my last pick-up of the night, and later dropping off at. I just saw it. I look for it. I am obsessed with the number. I haven't seen it for the months I have worked there. I don't think I saw it when I worked at my last job. Either. I don't think I saw it when I was born, either, at 203 at exactly 23 weeks into the year. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck no it's .. . no. 203 days remaining in the year, 23 days until the day my country celebrates it's laughable and extremely respectable independence. my dad's mom spent her final days in room number 207 (9x23) at a nursing home. He got drafted to go to war at 23. We had her funeral on 2/3. I dreamt of dark horses the night she died, after having a conversation with a girl born on the 23rd of a certain month, about death, life. Dark horses can reflect death. They seemed to be going somewhere. I saw them at a crossroads, after being in a place that resembled India- the people were Indian. I didn't know she had died- but knew she was going to. I hugged them- the horses. In the dream, someone had taught me how to make friends- in memory, with horses. I remember I felt like I was about to cry, when I did. The last house my father would live at, with his mother- after getting back from war, was with an address of a 148 in some sequence, with a 0 in between the 1 and 4 or 4 and 8. My mother's full name sum prior to meeting my father, where Z=26 A=1, is 148. After marriage became 184. 184=23x8. 8=2 to the 3rd power. Balls, circles, enclosures. Eyes. Stars. Orbits. Tubes. Standard. 0689. 8 has 2. Hey look at me. I was born in 1982. (nevermind). 0+6+8+9=23.
I don't care.
I do.
I need to be a better person.
I met a girl and a voice said she was my wife. I test them. The voices? Yes.
184, her name might come to- if she had my last name. The number looked familiar. Found it to be my mother's name-sum, as well. First time I made the connection that it was 23x8, burning the memories in a little more.
The highest single digit number, 9. The 9th prime number= 23. 23rd Prime number, 83. 1 minute, 23 seconds = 83 seconds. 2 minutes, 3 seconds =123 seconds.
My chest hurts.
Born from mother 203 days from an end to a year, and 23 weeks in. Met this girl 23 days into a year, and 203 weeks from 12/21/2012 (cycles), exactly both ways, as the other was exactly both ways ("more or less"- both). Both summed to 184 with the name, Thomas, as their last name. Similarities didn't really stop there but I didn't know her long enough to really say much, other than her feet had about the same sensitivity to touch as my mothers, seemingly, and a psycho-voice years ago told me to find the feet. Or it was apparently a game I've been playing, all along... or something. Called "Find the feet". Like-with a memory I had from another reality, before this one- sort of. [Hilarious.]
11 P.M.= 23:00
12 A.M.= 00:00
Great Pyramid 203 courses high (before wear). No capstone. 0. 203. 0. What's it mean?
The night my grandmother died coincides with the the day/night that the girl and I would not be in contact anymore, here, in a form (Same date/frame, different year). It also coincides greatly with the time I thought I had a heart attack, a year after her-the girl, more or less exactly (Milk allergy related.), taking myself to the hospital the following day with chest pressure- like some heavy dude was sitting on it, and weakness/feeling subdued. I admit my emotions play a part, but they are all intertwined, as it is. The year following this, I would deliver an order of food, to a "Hart" family...