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One night stand while rolling

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Lahla

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 8, 2012
Messages
6
Hey all, I really need some advice. I took E last weekend. It was only the second time I have ever taken it. I'm 26 and took once before when I was 22. Anyway was at a festival and took half a pill on first night. Good night-nothing major. However the second night I just felt like going crazy and ended up stupidly taking 4 pills in one night, in the space of a few hours. Problem was I had been drinking and the decision to take the subsequent pills was made when I was already slightly out of it. Anyway I was rolling away at a rave and ended up hooking up with this guy. It felt so intense (he was rolling too). Long story short we went back to his and slept with each other. It was so intense. After the sex we chatted for a bit then fell asleep. Woke up early the next morning and left.

Right, now the problem. It's been almost a week since I took it and I have had the worst week ever. Completely depressed. My mood has just been so low and I feel like I just cant lift it. I understand that it's my serotonin levels and I know(hope) it'll just take some time for them to go back to normal. I'm pretty healthy so I hope this will happen in a few weeks. But the fucked up thing is is that I cannot stop thinking about this guy. I'm fucking obsessed with him at this moment. Having sex with him on x made me feel like I bonded with him or something. Don't get me wrong I know it's just chemical but I feel like I need to sleep with him again. Would it have had the same effect on him-would it be in his head too? I have this strong urge to get in contact with him on FB but I would only want to do it if I thought he felt the same way; like that he had this compulsion to sleep with me again and experience it again.

I know this seems like a trivial sort of problem but my head just feels so fucked up. I feel so low and yet I am also trying to deal with the feelings I am having about this guy. I just hope that the both problems are 2 sides of the same coin. Like the only reason I am having difficulty dealing with the feelings for him is because my overall mood is so low. Like when my serotonin goes back to normal, it will all go back to normal and I'll be laughing at myself for even contemplating contacting this guy. Fuck, my head just feels so fucked up about it. I am so close to contacting the guy, but this would be so out of character for me. Will someone please advise me on this trivial shit i am currently dealng with? Thanks....I think I will be sticking to the odd joint from now on and keeping the E for festivals only
 
^^ Your post made me smile :)

I have been in many similiar dilemmas myself.

Firstly I must say there is no right or wrong answer here but sounds like you need someone to rationalise for you and put your mind at rest.

Sometimes just reading other ideas can help you form your own plans.

This is what I think..

Having sex with him on x made me feel like I bonded with him or something. Don't get me wrong I know it's just chemical but I feel like I need to sleep with him again.
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Not necessarily the X. You might have liked him, he might have been sexy, might have been good in bed. Many factors in the mix. when we sleep with someone we always bond with them in some way so drug or no drug this is a normal reaction. Even if you are a hard headed bitch drugs or no drugs every now and again someone might come along that hits all the spots. It might not be just the chemicals.

I know this seems like a trivial sort of problem but my head just feels so fucked up. I feel so low and yet I am also trying to deal with the feelings I am having about this guy. I just hope that the both problems are 2 sides of the same coin. Like the only reason I am having difficulty dealing with the feelings for him is because my overall mood is so low. Like when my serotonin goes back to normal, it will all go back to normal and I'll be laughing at myself for even contemplating contacting this guy.
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The exagerated emotions and crazy headspace I am afraid is likely the drugs or at least 90% or so. I suspect you have mainly drug issues right now but also in the mix some confused emotional issues. Unfortunately the drug come downs dont assist with emotional dilemmas and problems.

Fuck, my head just feels so fucked up about it. I am so close to contacting the guy, but this would be so out of character for me. Will someone please advise me on this trivial shit i am currently dealng with?
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To try and sort your head out I recommend you dont currently contact the guy. If you get rejected which is possible then this will not assist your recovery in any way.

Drugs have a nasty habbit of exagerating what is already in the mind. If you put further strain on your mind this can sometimes push people over the edge. The risks of contacting the guy in my opinion are too high.

If the chap is for you then a few days of no contact is okay. When you straighten your head out if you still think you want to try and make something of it you can always call him then.

You may well find once your head is straight the issue automatically resolves itself.

If you need advice about what to do to rectify your body balance let me know.

For future reference dont take pills on consequitive days. Limit the dose to no more than 150mG. Take long breaks 3 months minimum. Ignore this advice and you risk long term neurotoxity and psychological issues such as anxiety etc.

it will all go back to normal and I'll be laughing at myself for even contemplating contacting this guy
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Let us know how it works out.

Good luck Lahla

Futura
 
Lahla said:
I have this strong urge to get in contact with him on FB but I would only want to do it if I thought he felt the same way; like that he had this compulsion to sleep with me again and experience it again.
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I think he'd be pretty happy to get a guaranteed lay, even if he's not experiencing the same thing as you.

I'd say wait a bit, contact him, shag him again, and then both of you win. Unless you're expecting a relationship or something, we don't know what kind of guy he is and whether he'd want that.

I know if had a one night stand with someone while on MDMA I'd be happy to do it again sober.
 
Thanks Futura-you're right-to contact him now would only be inviting more turmoil into my mind. I would be risking losing further control of my emotions. I mean if can't even deal with these feelings now how would I cope waiting for him to respond, ignoring me or rejecting me. It would completely push me over the edge.

The real issue is that I am just feeling so depressed this week and I can't seem to snap out of it. I think that is why I was contemplating contacting him. I felt that it would lift me out of this lowness. I feel like I need to distract myself from the depressed feeling that has come over me this week. I even went out and got pissed last night with the intention of sleeping wth someone. Because right now anything would feel better that the lowness I'm feeling.

I know it hasn't even been a week since dropping but I just want to be back to normal and feeling in control and happy again. Of course I could always contact him then if I still wanted to but at least I'll be in a healthier frame of mind then. Fact is I probably wont care less about him once Im back to myself.


I was so stupid to take pills in the manner I did. Im suffering for it now. I just want to be back feeling normal again.

Thanks for replying, your advice has really helped me and brought me some comfort. I just feel so low and fucked up at the moment that I had to reach out and talk to someone
 
I don't want a relationship at all, just to sleep with him again because I know we both really enjoyed it. That's all I want from it.

But you are both right and I am going to wait until I feel back in control. I'll wait until my head feels right and not so fucked up. Then I'll be able to make a rational decision as to whether to contact him or not.
 
Drink a lot of clean water, eat as much green food as possible, swim, dance, run, walk, listen to music, smoke weed, pet a kitten, knit a blanket.....anything you can do to keep your mind active will aid in the healing process.

Foods you will want to eat in high amounts in the next month are those high in the amino acid l-tryptophan, an important precursor for brain health. It goes tryptophan -> 5-htp/niacin -> serotonin -> melatonin

Tuna, turkey, chicken, soybeans, salmon, pumpkin seeds, seaweed, & spirulina are all good sources. You could also try a supplement.

Lastly there are the drugs called nootropics (smart drugs/cognitive enhancers). Aniracetam or noopept would be my recommendations. Oil is to a car as nootropics are to your brain. It makes everything work much more efficiently, and curtails many of the negative side effects associated with post MDMA blues. Poor memory, concentration, depression, low motivation, all these things can be helped.

Peace & Love
 
Thanks for that, I was just about to ask for advice on how to get back to feeling normal. Ironically all of the things I needed to do were the things I just couldn't motivate myself to do this week. From tomorrow I am going to just focus on getting my body back to normal; eating the right foods, get back training every day and just concentrating on that, rather than thinking about this guy and dwelling on the night I had with him. At least focussing on my body and getting back to normal will be a healthy distraction.

It could take a few weeks right? Just so I don't expect a full recovery in a week only to be disappointed?
 
Hi Lahla,

4 pills is a high amount for one night, but since this was only the second time you took x, i am sure you will be fine.

your recovery should take something between a week and a month.

you already posted a good plan to get out of it :)

also, don't do x for at least the next 3, better yet, 6 months.

best of luck !
 
Honestly it is something you will be over in 2 weeks. That happens to me, I gain almost obsessive like behavior where I get these thoughts in my head and I'm straight obsessed. The feelings do however diminish with some time and contacting him will not help. I promise you 1.) It will go away 2.) You will feel better soon. Continue working out and eating healthy and you will be back to yourself in a week or two :).
 
1.If you want sex with him again, FB msg him. He will say yes 100% because guys need to ejaculate on a regular basis.
2.Not a bad idea to have sex with him and drop some pills same time. It might be an even better experience than before...who knows.
3.5htp baby, you need it. I use it occasionally, and I was feeling dirty and down from last weekend, drilled 100mg of 5htp into me and within 6 hours I felt better (was tired for 6 hours cos it makes u sleepy). I decided not to take anymore 5htp after that so you can use it really sparingly.
4.Practice safe sex!
 
I even went out and got pissed last night with the intention of sleeping wth someone.
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I don't want a relationship at all, just to sleep with him again because I know we both really enjoyed it. That's all I want from it.
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Wow you sound like just my kind of girl :D :D

I know it hasn't even been a week since dropping but I just want to be back to normal and feeling in control and happy again. Of course I could always contact him then if I still wanted to but at least I'll be in a healthier frame of mind then. Fact is I probably wont care less about him once Im back to myself.
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I totally agree with what your saying here. I think the main plan now is to focus on getting you better. Try and put the chap to the back of your mind now. You sound quite fucked up so I think we all agree either rejection or casual sex might not be the key right now.

Thanks for replying, your advice has really helped me and brought me some comfort. I just feel so low and fucked up at the moment that I had to reach out and talk to someone
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Thats totally cool. feel free to make this your thread now and come on here when ever you need support :) im on here most of the time so are many other members.

I know exactly how you feel so do all the other members on here. You have found exactly the right place to discuss with people being fucked up on drugs. In addition they will help you get out of this awful headspace.

I was so stupid to take pills in the manner I did. Im suffering for it now. I just want to be back feeling normal again.
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It could take a few weeks right? Just so I don't expect a full recovery in a week only to be disappointed?
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For mental well being try not to focus on what you might have done, am I going to recover, how long is it going to take etc. This is all anxiety driven being fed by the drugs. You have to fight these thoughts away. This is how CBT works infact. You have to shelf these thoughts and think of positive outcomes.

For your piece of mind I suspect right now you are low on serotonin and your brain is temporarily out of balance, I guarantee you are going to recover and time wise this is unknown but the important thing is you just need recovery time. Time in a sense is what you make of it. See it as just a learning experience in your life. A week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks it doesnt really matter the point being is you shelve that thought for now and keep telling yourself I am going to get better.

I like cryptix suggestions all good bar the weed.

I strongly advise you no weed whilst trying to repair your brain. This would be a brain cell execution session.

Eat healthy foods, EXERCISE is so important right now. Cardio and Core exercises are highly advised. Swimming, running, walking, cycling, outdoor pursuits are all great for your recovery.

Supps I would advise are Omega 3, Krill Oil, Ginkgo, Lithium and Piracetam+Choline and a good multi vitamin including B6. The supps are very personal to you so I recomend you do your own research.

Make sure you are getting good sleep, drinking the recommended daily amount of water. Avoid stress try and keep your mind in a calm state.

I liked this alternative thought from Squareroot

More importantly, I ask you to consider doing - or, that is, not doing - something else. Stop having casual sexual encounters. Take drugs completely out of the picture - When people have one night stands, it often happens that the people end up with confused and hurt and depressive feelings. This is because as human persons we crave a vital relationship with another person, and our sexuality is a central component to that. You can't expect to separate the two (which are so intertwined) and not have negative impacts on your feelings.
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Definitely avoid all drugs for now and consider this advise above. He has a very valid point.

Avoid cigarettes, avoid alcohol, avoid caffeine, avoid sugar.

You must allow yourself every fighting chance to recover as quickly as possible. Follow some of the info from myself and the other members and very soon all the chaos in your head will be a thing of the past.

Good luck Lahla

Futura.
 
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I understand what Squareroot is saying about casual sexual encounters but I honestly don't have an issue here. Yea I did form some sort of attachment or infatuation with this guy and maybe that's the risk being referred to, but I don't think that was the problem. I think I am just really struggling with the comedown and I am just unable to think rationally about anything. I didn't think I would feel so depressed and obsessive and I didn't think it would last this long. I just felt mentally and emotionally weak and the feelings of obsessiveness were allowed to run riot and take over.

Yea maybe I will contact this guy eventually but after listening to everyone's advice there is no way that I will contact him until my head is straight. Otherwise it would be a disaster waiting to happen.

I just didn't understand or appreciate the comedown I was going to have. I went into this with my eyes closed and that's why I freaked out so much this week.

Thank you for reassuring me that I will be fine in a couple of weeks-that's all I wanted to hear; that it will go away; that I will feel better. And thanks for stopping me from making such a rash decision when I am in the midst of a comedown.

Next time I take x I will educate myself about it first. Cope is right, 4 pills in one night is a lot.

I will keep you updated on my progress and whether I still feel compelled to contact this guy when my head is straight. If for nothing else, maybe it'll help someone else in future.
 
Yeah MDMA can produce some pretty fucking strong bonds, i've experienced this firsthand without even having sex with them. The heightened serotonin causes the release of prolactin & oxytocin (chemicals responsible for love emotions) which makes us feel very close and bonded to people. If you spend your whole night with someone also rolling you can make very significant bonds that won't feel fake the next day. Add having sex which releases even more endorphins and bonding chemicals and you can feel pretty damn connected to someone without even knowing them. Good old mandy bonds!

I spent a few weeks thinking about one girl I met and spent the evening rolling with, I really wanted to contact her but we never exchanged numbers - probably a good thing!

Like others have said, wait till your feeling normal and see where you go from there.
 
Lahla,
It sounds like you had an amazing night. MDMDA will do that and its awesome. I think it is one of the most dangerous part of sleeping with someone on MDMA. Its so intense we just have to believe it'll be like that again. But it doesn't have to and unfortunately usually isn't.
Sorry your feeling low this week. Do what you can to increase your levels of serotonin. Its the over released levels of serotonin that gets people down. High protein intake helps with amino acid precursors, 5HTP is good as well.
Hope you feel better,
 
JWills20 said:
Yeah MDMA can produce some pretty fucking strong bonds, i've experienced this firsthand without even having sex with them..
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Yes, I once went to a rave with my girlfriend and her beautiful 18 year old sister. She was rolling bawlz too and gave me the time of day and seemed genuninely interested in me. For an entire month I was obsessed at the thought of being with her, even going as far as telling my girl I had a huge crush on her. For whatever reason she said "I rather it be my sister than anyone else." lol but what this girl posted I completely understand 100 million percent.

As for Futura, please do not ever leave this sight. Reading your educated, and proper grammatical posts is a breath of fresh air.
 
I hope no-one here minds but I cant really agree with much of the advice here. I'm sure its more sensible than what I'm about to say, but just for the record, heres my take.

MDMA doesn't create something out of nothing. It places what you have into overdrive for a while, with a very stiff comedown regime, hence your feeling down. Life and its pleasures are so short and fleeting. If you have the opportunity I would get in contact and see what happens. If he's up for it and you are too then go see him and fuck like rabbits. Then do it again. If you like still like it, and he's up for it to, try experimenting with other substances too and see where it goes. I'd recommend a hit of mdma then one of these trippy phenylethylamines like 2C-B or 25C. Then spend the entire night cuddling, fucking, and just generally exploring the limits of human sensuality.

Enjoy it while you can.
 
MDMA doesn't create something out of nothing. It places what you have into overdrive for a while, with a very stiff comedown regime, hence your feeling down. Life and its pleasures are so short and fleeting. If you have the opportunity I would get in contact and see what happens. If he's up for it and you are too then go see him and fuck like rabbits. Then do it again. If you like still like it, and he's up for it to, try experimenting with other substances too and see where it goes. I'd recommend a hit of mdma then one of these trippy phenylethylamines like 2C-B or 25C. Then spend the entire night cuddling, fucking, and just generally exploring the limits of human sensuality.
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Nice point bunny but the only snag is if the dude turns round and sais "get lost". At this point your plan is going to be recipe for disaster for a drug frazzled brain.

Removing ones self from this emotional turmoil has to be the plan.

Besides even the OP thinks the guy is "drug cool" and is likely a dork.

Why not get better first then in 6 months down the line go to a rave and repeat but this time minus the OD. That would be the option I would advise.
 
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