Need help, seeing psychiatrist soon please read.

[kouzin]

hey bluelighters, i have recently seen a counselor who says she thinks i may be bipolar, i do not doubt it, but i have to see a psychiatrist to get an evaluation i assume. i have been pretty depressed for awhile due to a number of events i wont say, and i have been abusing all kinds of drugs for about 4 years now, i am only 19, basically have done everything, hard drugs soft drugs designer drugs RC drugs. i love the opioids, too much, and also my beloved psychedelics. <LSD333333 it has been a great run, but i feel i have gained all that i can from drugs, at least anything positive. I do not want this life anymore, I am sick of it, but I do not know what else to do anymore, I feel so shitty all the time, I cant barely sleep without drugs. i know i need help, but I also know, as told by the counselor, that I most likely will be put on SSRI meds or others as needed. I cant lie to myself, a drug is a drug, if not opiates, then it will SSRI i will addicted too, albeit a socially acceptable drug addiction, but still the same. I dont want drugs anymore, i just want to feel normal again. I am feeling alright at the moment, hopeful to say the least. but what should i do? should i get on the SSRI's? i was thinking maybe i should start exercising again, and eat healthier, and keep myself busy. but im just afraid of not being able to sleep, i hate that more than anything, because it is sometimes the only escape i get, even though half the time i dont feel asleep, I just dream. so i am also asking of any tips and things you guys do to fall asleep, without the use of drugs, i am desperate at this point, and i love the people on this site, because sometimes i feel they are the only ones i can understand and empathize with, so pleaase anything positive you guys can give would be greatly appreciated!!

 

[The Happy Wanderer]

Hey kouzin,

hope you still check your thread.
I don't think they'll treat you with SSRIs, if you're really bipolar.
If you really have this, than most likely you'll end taking mood stabilizers, like lithium.

The things you wrote to change in your life are great ideas imho. Just don't expect to change everything at once. Be patient.
To change some many things in one's life is a great task for a healthy person, but for a depressed person, who is abusing task, it's even harder.
So, once again, be patient and don't be to hard on yourself.

Exercising is a good thing to start with. Especially something like jogging. Start slowly, in dependence to state of body right now, and then do more.
45 oder even one hour of running should be your goal.
Studies show, that this enhances your mood better or at least just as good as any anti-depressant, while having more positive other effects.
When you run one hour every second day, that should be the optimum.
You could think about buying some machine to exercise indoors, if you live in an area with rough weather or winters.

Also, if you're in some team based sports, like football, basketball etc., start playing again, the social part will most likely give you an extra boost.

To eat helathier is also a good idea. What do you know about this? Can you cook? Once you get behind it, it can be fun (and cheaper than fast food).

Next thing, are you still in school? Working? Just doing nothing?

Ask the psychiatrist about having a stationary therapy (I hope this the right term in english). To me it sounds like it would be a good thing for you to get out of your environment, away from drugs, drug user/sellers and the places where you are used to take drugs. I know it's a pretty hard decision, but I nice, calm place where you can find new interests or old one's again could be of great benefit.

Hang on, dude!

 

[RobotRipping]

^good post.

They won't put on SSRIs for bipolar, they make people who are bipolar very manic and crazy. But don't let them diagnose you if you've been using drugs the whole time, that will completely mess up the diagnosis. Drugs can make your emotions and feelings cycle like that of a bipolar person but there is a big difference between it being naturally like that and it being done by yourself.

So IMO do not get on medication yet, clean up completely and after a year, think about medication if you are still the same. I bet you will bounce back to normal and not even need medication. Sleep will be hard at first but after a while you get used to it and if not you can always just get medication for insomnia and use it when you really need it. Drugs can wreak havoc on your mind/body and you will be surprised how different things can be when you slowly start making changes. Don't expect anything to change overnight but given some time things could end up working out a lot better than you ever would have thought.

 

[The Happy Wanderer]

But don't let them diagnose you if you've been using drugs the whole time, that will completely mess up the diagnosis. Drugs can make your emotions and feelings cycle like that of a bipolar person but there is a big difference between it being naturally like that and it being done by yourself.

That's a good point here.
Take Robot's advice, I think it's a good idea. Be patient, your body and brain need time to normalize, sth. might some days, some weeks or even months.
Maybe try some of that natural stuff like valerian to sleep. There are several plants that can help, just try 'em.

Keep us updated, how ya doin'!