Thanks herbavore, I think I will stick around and pay it forward!

this addiction sort of caught me by surprise to be honest with you all. I had been a recreational user for years, and also have a legit pain condition which is how I first experienced these pills. At first I would do like 200mg once or twice a month, and it slowly became every weekend then several times a week and before I knew it I was taking 400mg a day and needed it to get out of bed in the morning. I was spending every extra cent on trams and even some I couldn't spare. After about 6 months of daily use I realized I needed to quit. The physical withdrawals were pretty uncomfortable but I used loperamide to get through the worst of it, and a bit of ativan for the rls. The mental withdrawal had been much harder to deal with. I have experienced some serious depression and anxiety and to be perfectly honest every day is a constant battle still. The weekends seem to be harder because during the week when I'm working my mind is busy so I don't have much time to think about using. But like today when I finally have some downtime to relax and recharge all I can think about is getting high and how nice that buzz feels. I am one of the lucky (or unlucky) people who gets high as hell on tramadol, peeking for 6-10 hours. I admit it's one of the best if not THE best high I've ever experienced from prescription pain killers, for me it trumps oxycontin and blows hydrocodone out of the water. But the other thing that's a really great feeling is being clean, and proving to myself that I can be happy and content and euphoric without this drug. I admit that in comparison to a lot of you my 6 month addiction was barely a drop in the bucket, but for me kicking this shit was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Each day gets a little better and a little easier. Each morning when I wake up and have another day clean under my belt that nagging voice in the back of my mind gets a little quieter, and I am beginning to get a little glimpse of the life I used to have before tramadol stole it. And I absolutely could not have done it without the support of this forum