Well I've been in this 'funk' for about 8 months now. Things have progressed some, though. I just don't know what to do! I have nothing to be depressed about in life. Everything is pretty much going my way. I have a job, go to college, great girlfriend. But yet almost everyday I randomly get this feeling...A feeling of of there's nothing to live for. Like I'm at a dead end. When this happens all my interests disappear. I don't want to do anything nor do I look foward to anything. This in turn spirals out of control to thoughts like, "If I have no interests what is the point of living? I'm never going to get better, there's no hope, I don't know how to fix this, I'll never be normal again", ect.
The normal I refer to is the first 17 and a half years of my life. I always thought positive. I looked foward to my future. Now a lot of the time I could care less if I get my dream job or house or life. These thoughts come on at anytime of the day whether I'm at work, watching tv, at school, it doesn't matter. So I don't think these thoughts come on by specific activities. They are so random and I don't get it! I always look andhink from a scientific stand point (I think). I always think about things like maybe low dopamine or serotonin. But I'm not sure and it's killing me because if I don't know the problem then I can't know how to fix it. I wish I could just like xrays on my brain when I get those feelings so I can see whats going on in that head of mine.
My doctors solutions are anti depressants, but this depression actually started when I was put on Celexa for anxiety. But I'm so in deep with those medicines that I'm scared to get off because of withdrawel. I've already got myself down to about 25mg of pristiq (was on 150mgs of effexor, then got switched to pristiq a couple weeks ago). I know the next step is to just go cold turkey. My doctor doesn't know about this though. I know I need to tell him...
The scariest part of this though is me quiting anti depressants and it not working. Then where do I go from there? I feel like this is the only thing I can do to make this all go away and back to normal. I honestly can't think of anything else to do to fix this. If the only other option is just to wait it out then I could be waiting my whole life for something that might not even happen... Somedays are good and feel normal but others are how I described and I honestly don't want to live with these thoughts anymore...
Thanks for taking the time to read if you did. Just one of those times where I need to get this off my mind lol. Any suggestions of what I can try would be very helpful
The normal I refer to is the first 17 and a half years of my life. I always thought positive. I looked foward to my future. Now a lot of the time I could care less if I get my dream job or house or life. These thoughts come on at anytime of the day whether I'm at work, watching tv, at school, it doesn't matter. So I don't think these thoughts come on by specific activities. They are so random and I don't get it! I always look andhink from a scientific stand point (I think). I always think about things like maybe low dopamine or serotonin. But I'm not sure and it's killing me because if I don't know the problem then I can't know how to fix it. I wish I could just like xrays on my brain when I get those feelings so I can see whats going on in that head of mine.
My doctors solutions are anti depressants, but this depression actually started when I was put on Celexa for anxiety. But I'm so in deep with those medicines that I'm scared to get off because of withdrawel. I've already got myself down to about 25mg of pristiq (was on 150mgs of effexor, then got switched to pristiq a couple weeks ago). I know the next step is to just go cold turkey. My doctor doesn't know about this though. I know I need to tell him...
The scariest part of this though is me quiting anti depressants and it not working. Then where do I go from there? I feel like this is the only thing I can do to make this all go away and back to normal. I honestly can't think of anything else to do to fix this. If the only other option is just to wait it out then I could be waiting my whole life for something that might not even happen... Somedays are good and feel normal but others are how I described and I honestly don't want to live with these thoughts anymore...
Thanks for taking the time to read if you did. Just one of those times where I need to get this off my mind lol. Any suggestions of what I can try would be very helpful
