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Falling Back Into The Circle Of Addiction

rules

rules

Bluelighter
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
503
Location
New Jersey
Fuuuuuuuuck. I thought I had beaten it. I thought I was smarter than all the other "junkies". Guess not. I had been prescribed suboxone and I was completely clean for almost two months but then I found something out. Suboxone does a SHIT job of blocking my opiate receptors in comparison to stopping my cravings, which it does extremely well. At first it was once every once in a while and then it was not on subsequent days and now today I fucked up even that rule. I find myself not taking my subs now in fear of blocking even a little of my high and wasting my dope and I don't know what to do. Heroin is impossible to control even in the slightest, huh? Now my mom is noticing my diminished appetite and I'm losing weight again. Starting to look like Pete Doherty again. This is so fucking hard.

well...i was waiting for some replies. but i must now go out with people twice my age to look for dope.
 
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argh, rules, fuuuuuuuuuuuuck is right. :( You need a plan. What did you try before? You need to be going out with people that have been where you are and get it and are in recovery. Did you try a group? Was it a bad or good experience? I hope that you can look at this as a slip and not a life sentence. You have as much power to stop as you did before only now you have the added strength that comes from knowing just how deep these hooks are sunk in and you can be more vigilant. Knowledge is power. You already went out today. You don't have to go tomorrow.<3
 
Get a plan. Get help. take outside advice. Take more suboxone. TAKE YOUR SUBOXONE CONSISTENTLY EVERY SINGLE DAY! Same time, same dose, dont sniff it, dont fuck with it, nada. Wake up in the morning, and before you even think about a damn thing, put your suboxone under your tongue. That solves the one problem. Do not even think about it, just do it. Make it an innate action. Take it how you should and take as long as you NEED with the program, not as long as you WANT it to take.

And WORK A PROGRAM! Not just a sub under the tongue every day, i'm talking group therapy, one on one counseling, whatever you need, and however often you need it.

Also dont throw in the fucking towel. You fucked up, shit happens. It doesn't justify continuing to fuck up. Soon as you realize that the sooner this slip or lapse will end. And also means next time you slip it WILL be a slip, not a relapse. And dont plan to relapse every week. Plan to go as longggg as you can. Seriously. Make it a marathon not a sprint.

Realize that needs must come before wants if you want to stay clean (your definition of clean). Good luck!
 
DooMMooD said:
Get a plan. Get help. take outside advice. Take more suboxone. TAKE YOUR SUBOXONE CONSISTENTLY EVERY SINGLE DAY! Same time, same dose, dont sniff it, dont fuck with it, nada. Wake up in the morning, and before you even think about a damn thing, put your suboxone under your tongue. That solves the one problem. Do not even think about it, just do it. Make it an innate action. Take it how you should and take as long as you NEED with the program, not as long as you WANT it to take.

And WORK A PROGRAM! Not just a sub under the tongue every day, i'm talking group therapy, one on one counseling, whatever you need, and however often you need it.

Also dont throw in the fucking towel. You fucked up, shit happens. It doesn't justify continuing to fuck up. Soon as you realize that the sooner this slip or lapse will end. And also means next time you slip it WILL be a slip, not a relapse. And dont plan to relapse every week. Plan to go as longggg as you can. Seriously. Make it a marathon not a sprint.

Realize that needs must come before wants if you want to stay clean (your definition of clean). Good luck!
Click to expand...

^^ Good advice.

rules said:
I thought I was smarter than all the other "junkies". Guess not.
Click to expand...

Story of so many people's lives 8(
 
fuck. i went out today. the high is just so....fucking....goood. UGH. maybe going to meetings is my answer...
 
even heroin gets boring but by that point everyone is so fucking addicted they are so afraid of wds that they want to stay high despite consequences and then it takes a lot of work so much you'll hate it to get out of that hole to china so to speak that you've dug yourself into
 
awww, rules:(<3<3 Meetings and make some friends at those meetings if you can. Help someone else when they are craving.
 
ya the high won't last man... give it up now while its still a good memory before its twist and burns your soul into a mass of jello. WD suck. don't go there. get on suboxon
 
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