Missed work again today Not sure how I'm gonna get out of this mess, I have a doctors appointment in an hours time, my wages next month are going to be half what they usually are and I'm not going to be able to afford to pay my bills and my rent, it's going to be hard to survive. I need to motivate myself to do something, even if it is preparing all the stuff that I need to throw away or sell and getting it all ready, but I can't motivate myself to get out of bed even. I'll force it to get to the doctors in an hour, when I get back, hopefully she will have given me enough of a kick up the arse to motivate myself to do something, if not then the only option is to just disappear. I really want to get my residency back for america and get out there, seems like that is my only option at the moment, I feel totally trapped and I don't have a clue how to sort myself out. I'm sure I'll manage somehow though.