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lil sis gettin drunk n high

mrflowers00

mrflowers00

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
3,693
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santa rosa, CA
i don't know what to do i'm so worried about her she's just 15 and been smokin weed and drinkin alcohol for a year now it's like she can't see the problems drugs have cause me and my mom i just wanted her to learn from our mistakes but clearly she didn't
 
You know dude, a lot of people at that age aren't going to listen to anybody. I understand how painful it is to see someone making the exact same mistakes you did at that age and not having the foresight and wisdom to understand what it has done to you and learn from your mistakes without learning the hard way.

But dude, sad as it sounds, the best you can do is not attack her about it, or condemn or criticize but rather let her know how much you care about her, and what's worrying you. Explain to her what drugs have done to you and the consequences her abuse of alcohol and drugs could have on her. But when you have this talk with her don't come off as judgmental or anything, just as a caring brother.

Honestly though dude, at that age, majority of us will not listen to anybody. That's usually just the way it is, majority of us were all incredibly short sighted, naive and ignorant at that age and all you can do is let her know you love her, explain the consequences of her actions, and just hope that she puts it altogether her self. But she has to get herself to this point in her mind, now amount of getting angry with her, condemning her, criticizing her will have the effect you want.

Right now the worst thing you can do is condemn or criticize, when faced with condemnation, especially at such a young age, people will just resent you and try harder to justify what they're doing. So whatever you do, don't be mad at her or condemn.

Good luck dude, i know it's a tricky situation, as you know what she does during the next 5 years pretty much shapes the next 20 years of her life.
 
i've actually avoided having a conversation with her about it because i don't want to push her deeper into the lifestyle but maybe just expressing my concerns could be helpful i just don't know it sucks
 
You know at this point, no one is going to be able to tell her what to do... But I'd be concerned with harm reduction- things like don't ever, ever take a pill (or chemical) without knowing EXACTLY what it is... A 15 year old is probably not aware of some of the incredibly dangerous things out there. When I was that age, all there was to worry about was the standard stuff- we didn't have 'fake' pills and 'legal' highs and synthetic cannabinoids- all things kids can get their hands on, and that can be much more damaging than "real" drugs. There's plenty of documentation to be had on the web about the damage this stuff has caused in forums like BL, that are clearly not BS or scare tactics, but experiences from very real, and often experienced users. You could always gather some of this, and just say something like, "look, I'm not judging you or trying to tell you what to do, but I wanted you to be aware that this is out there, and be able to protect yourself if you or your friends ever encounter anything like this.." just a thought. Good luck.
 
well she at least said she won't touch pills or bath salts so thats something i'm happy about but i just worry she could change her mind
 
That's a tough one man, It depends on your sisters personality. If you try to stop her she may be convinced to rebel even more. My younger sister has been drinking and smoking pot and I clearly wasn't happy about it and made it very clear to her that it was NOT cool (we were taken by DYFS from our parents when I was 10, she was 5) and even though I'm doing dope I tried to make it very clear that I wouldn't tolerate her getting fucked up if it was anything more than alcohol. She started drinking at 15 and smoking pot at 16. It caused her to get worse and even though she probably loves me more than anyone else in the world she just won't listen.

You can't force her to do anything, but you may want to try to convince her to make different & better decisions. Again it's tough, do you think she'll listen if you say something to her about it?

**edit**

I'd also like to mention that some kids (boys & girls) will smoke pot and drink from ages 13, 14, 15, and 16+ and never make it a long term habit and end up quitting after high school and never trying harder drugs. If I remember reading correctly, teenage pot and alcohol use is at a higher rate now than it has been in the past 30 years since the late 70's or early 80's.
 
I have a friend who grows pot, and her son started smoking it at 13, as long as he does all his chores and keeps good grades he is allowed. I know it's pretty young, but he seems fine. *shrug*
If your sister wants to drink and take drugs and you and her mum do but she's not allowed, she's probably just going to think you are hippocrits and not listen.
 
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I started drinking and smoking weed when I was 14, as long as it's kept in moderation(alochol more importantly) and doesn't escalate into anything else it shouldn't be too much of a problem.
 
I have the same thing with my little sister, same age too. She likes smoking weed a lot more than getting drunk and I take that as a good sign kind of but I really can't do much for her, she knows what drugs did to me she's living with it right now. So hopefully she'll at least not get super into tripping or so much as touch hard drugs. But all I can do is be here and be a nice older brother and just be chill with her, because my parents used to flip shit on me when I was that age and it just made me do more drugs ("fuck you mom and dad!" kinda thing).
 
mrflowers00 said:
yeah thanks everyone and it doesn't bother me so much what she does right now it's what she might do because of family history
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I firmly believe genetics can absolutely make someone prone to substance abuse. My family hx includes a great deal of drug abuse. Although my mother fortunately never got addicted to anything she's tried about everything under the sun back in the day. My father was a coke addict in the 80's and started doing using around the same time I did(mid teens.)

He was actually involved in one of the first major drug busts in Florida at the age of 17 in the early 70's back when Nixon started the War on Drugs. He got busted for selling north of 50 lbs of bud to a Narc. On top of that it wasn't even his(as you would think, being he wasn't even an adult at the time), but instead was fronted from the Mafia here in Tampa. Definitely a stick situation to be in at such a young age. I was never even told about it until I got in a bit of trouble myself and was facing a few years.

Just pray that if she DOES get involved in anything in the future that it isn't coke, speed, or opiates.

On a side note, do you know what she is smoking out of? I used to smoke out of tin foil, sockets, inked phonebook paper to roll joints, etc. I'm about positive I did more damage to myself from smoking out of harmful objects than from the weed itself.

As counterproductive as it may seem, it might be worthwhile to buy her a cheap $5 glass pipe at a headshop or something of the like if she is smoking out of objects that are toxic. I'm sure you of all people can appreciate the fact that harm reduction is a far better approach to take when people have their mind made up.
 
I'm kinda in the position your little sister is in (with the exception that my brother is 25, and I'm 21)

My brother recently got called the cops on by my parents because he was shooting ketamine in the middle of the night and he kept falling and shit keeping us all awake, and my parents REALLY needed their sleep due to work day after they really need their concentration for or they're ruined. This resulted in drastic measures and my dad just flipped out and called the cops


Anyway, I've been taking drugs on and of (mostly just experimental) for the last 4 years, but my parents never know, as the one time they wouldve found out, my brother took the blame (saying it were his drugs) as my parents knew about him (though they never thought it'd be as bad as IMing ketamine)

I'm now in a really really awkward position because i'm still semi-experimenting (it turned into somewhat of a habit, but i take months and months of breaks, so I wouldnt say i'm addicted... I even take breaks when I have a pretty big stash lying around), but if I get caught now, it'd completely devestate my parents and i'd get shit slung at me like "didnt you see what happened to your brother?!!!!"

but the reason I think my brother was in a worse position than me to get caught by addiction is because he didnt have a job, didnt go to school,... basicly he was just sitting home all day doing nothing. In other words, he had nothing to live for

I on the other hand have a beautiful girlfriend, I still study, and I take my studies really really serious (i'm top of my class), so I definately have something to live for, and I live towards the future whereas my brother didn't think further than 15 minutes from now


I'm not really comfortable in this situation, but I don't want to be fucked over just because my brother made mistakes. Some people CAN keep control over their drug use. I don't know if I'll always be able to control it, but these past 4 years have shown me that I have at least a pretty good system to keep things under control.

(sorry if this seemed a bit off-topic... i just thought i could relate to the situation, but from the other POV)


Edit: it might be worth nothing though that he was the one that "introduced" me to drugs. My first experience with drugs was when I was 17 and I did LSD with my brother and his best friend. That is my very first drug experience, even before Alcohol (I don't like the taste of beer, and a couple months after my LSD experience i got shitfaced on alcohol, decided I didnt like it, so ever since never drank alcohol other than the champagne during family gatherings :p)
 
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i might have thought doing drugs with my lil sis could have helped her stay safe except i use hard drugs and she does not except alcohol which i consider hard but i hate alcohol now used to drink like a fish like a 5th of 80proof a day or more
 
Well I'm 16. I've been doing drugs since I was 12, and my GPA has never slipped below a 3,2 and I live a great life. Not to say drugs still haven't caused me problems in life but the only way I could learn that is on my own.

I guess I'm luckier than others with the fact I can control my life so well with drugs but not everyone is. Try showing her the stories on this site and maybe she will see things differently. Maybe your sister will he able to do all of these things and be okay in the end but no matter what there isn't ANYTHING you can do to change the inevitable other than to be completely HONEST with her about drugs. Don't condemn or criticize, but tell her what's happened to you and why you're worried and that it's NOTHING PERSONAL against her.

Right now I'm sure she's in the "drug scares are all bullshit I'll be okay because I'm not like the other junkies or kids blah blah blah". It took me watching my friend get into heroin addiction to see the truths of drug use. I really hope she's okay man, if you want me to talk to her (sounds weird but we're basically the same age so I understand how she feels pretty well) then by all means go ahead. You're a good sibling to be concerned.
 
the thing is she is smart she gets like a 3.8 GPA and knows about the dangers of drugs but i'm not sure she understands that even alcohol and cannabis can be very bad for you and cause much pain and problems
 
She "knows" about them but she doesn't understand them. Both can be harmful, ESPECIALLY alcohol. Alcohol is one of the worst addictions out there IMO, and weed can cause a lot of problems for her, such as depression and especially permastoned (one of my biggest regrets), and the fact that it's so damn hard to quit because there really aren't any immediate consequences from it. Just try to help her use safely as people have explained in this thread. Tell her to only keep it to weekends and to know when to quit and when is an appropriate time to use and when is inappropriate (e.g when parents are home, before or at school/work, sport practices and all, etc).
 
badfish45 said:
Well I'm 16. I've been doing drugs since I was 12, and my GPA has never slipped below a 3,2 and I live a great life. Not to say drugs still haven't caused me problems in life but the only way I could learn that is on my own.

I guess I'm luckier than others with the fact I can control my life so well with drugs but not everyone is. Try showing her the stories on this site and maybe she will see things differently. Maybe your sister will he able to do all of these things and be okay in the end but no matter what there isn't ANYTHING you can do to change the inevitable other than to be completely HONEST with her about drugs. Don't condemn or criticize, but tell her what's happened to you and why you're worried and that it's NOTHING PERSONAL against her.

Right now I'm sure she's in the "drug scares are all bullshit I'll be okay because I'm not like the other junkies or kids blah blah blah". It took me watching my friend get into heroin addiction to see the truths of drug use. I really hope she's okay man, if you want me to talk to her (sounds weird but we're basically the same age so I understand how she feels pretty well) then by all means go ahead. You're a good sibling to be concerned.
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I'd watch out giving advice like that. It's different for everyone I suppose, but for me personally this site (I've been lurking for 2+ years, just recently made an account) has been somewhat a trigger.
You only see what you want to see. You read threads of people that share their story on how drugs completely screwed over their life, but on the other hand you've got threads/posts of others saying they're doing juuuust fine, even better than fine.

When you actually want to experiment with drugs (out of curiosity, or whatever your reason might be), you tend to lean more towards the positive posts, so you relativate the dangers. Also (for me personally) the fact that information about alot of diffent kind of drugs is available on the same page (I'm talking about browsing threads int he Other Drugs subforum) could be triggering to try out stuff you normally wouldn't, like RC's and whatnot.

On erowid you can find most of that stuff as well, but you'd have to pretty actively search for it, whereas here, the threads kinda slap you in the face, and give you a buttload of subjective opinions of people "glorifying" it.

Mrflowers, I believe that in the end I don't think you can do all that much for your sister. She'll make her own choices, regardless how hard you try to fight them. I even think that the harder you struggle, the more she's going to be like "God, mind your own business, and JUST because you keep meddling in mine, I'm going to do it!". I don't mean that you shouldnt make a stand. Make her know what you think, but don't push your opinion on her. Wait and see what happens. If she actually does take the step, guide her (for the sake of harm-reduction i mean), after preaching ofcourse. :-)

(and if you really want to attempt to scare her shitless as to not take drugs, show her one of those krokodil documentaries... that shit's horrifying)
 
I understand where you're coming from because I'm going through the same thing with my sister. She's only 16 and she started smoking weed and drinking. I tried talking to her but she can't get past the fact that I do heroin so I shouldn't be telling her not to smoke weed. It's kind of a "do what I say, not what I do" sorta thing. And I guess if I was in her shoes I'd react the same way.
 
Maybe she will get the partying out of her system early on and get "burnt out" to say the least. Thats being optimistic though. I started smoking weed, rollin, trippin, and doing H with my sis when she was 16 (I was a piss poor older brother) but now she's doing great on her own. She socially drinks (maybe once or twice a month) and smokes maybe 4-5 cigs a day. I myself progressed far into IV heroin addiction, but now I'm 6 months clean. It's possible she my delve deeper into substance use/abuse and there's really nothing you can say or do. She has to want to quit on her own (this is coming from an addict). I wish you the best my friend as well as your sister. Try to get her into harm reduction as that's probably the best you can actually do for her.
 
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