how did i miss this thread??? thank you BL... you have helped me so much it brings tears to my eyes... but i use this as my base site then research from there...
currently reading PiHKAL and TiHKAL by Dr. Alexander and Ann Sulgin...
others too... I have researched studies
more than just psychedelics but I with 8 years of individual 12 hours a day plus my 3 years of college I failed... but the instructors sucked... really REALLY sucked...
except up to calculus 2 I was 20 then 25 now july 31st...
some dumb FUCK who is 33 told me Dramamine is diphenhydramine... no its close but its Dimenhydrenate so similar but it wasnt worth arguing over when I know I'm right....
(unless they changed it but they didn't i am pretty sure) (dont mind my grammar and i's and I's im drunk on a shit keyboard as always)
I know mechanisms of action for benzodiazepines and amphetamines especially even neuromodulators and neurotransmittor sites... stuff like that... thats how I got on the prescriptions I am on which yes i do misuse at times but (you cant with suboxone in its film form (I don't inject never did, fear of needles and that rush any drug injected would bring but I have 2 rigs in case someone i know wants them...))
I know the D1 D3 D4 shit
GABAa1 a2 (I'm drunk but forgiive my errors) GABA B1 B2 which ones work on which.....
solubility rules... of all drugs
hate alprazolam snoters makes me fucking sick and they argue it gets you soooo much more fucked up tho i explain enjoy deviating your septum while swallowing the drips through your throat into your stomach and I get the "fuck you you are sooo wrong dude" from them, well ithis I know what I know and I have the 8 years of self education the minor chemistry but major biochem information with nothing to show for it...
on probation...
school is like pointless almost with an arson charge and a assaulting an officer charge... maybe homeless soon was my grandpas caregiver... all this all that..
im in a tough situation he just left for the nursing home and i hope to God i can stay here after this week if the bank doesn't seize the condo... or I am in a tough situation...
i am clean from heroin 9-10 months almost and tapered 110mg from methadone to 32mg jumped to suboxone... now on 100mg dexamphetamine (dextrostat IR tablets a day 25 4 times daily... and really if i do take 30 30 30 10 so what...) subs im on 24.. working on getting to 16... then just telling him im on 24 even wanting 32 just so i have the extra to sell especially if i have the pill form.... im going back to the tablet form the film its so hard to get under there without sticking to my toungue and wasting.... fuck my recent week or 10 DAYS of life but besides this drinking right now i have been sober from all drugs besides prescriptions usually non misused for 9-10 months and had a spiritual experience 2 weeks plus ago where i am happy with my life drug wise... im living a clear headed life style... insurance fucks me over and claims its too early to fill which is bs sometimes but theyre cheap fucks...
thank you bluelight...
the spiritual awakening i had was sober btw...
but i want to folllow in shulgins steps.. (too bad he had a stroke)
i believe ibogaine and other psychedelics have major medical properties... but nooooo its all the govt and the pharm companies who would lose money just like the cig companies who would if weed was legal too in my opinion... maybe not but who knows on the last part....
I'm not on amphetamines im just drunk and on 10mg diazepam as im suppose to be... about to take my subs and go to sleep and wake up 6-8 hours from now fuck it....
so much more i need to say but i don't owe proof of knowledge to anyone... no disrespect...
i know non-recreational drugs of use actions as well... beta adrenergic blockers... alphas like clonodine guanfacine... which no one listens to me again outside of here on the alphas not affecting the heart directly... unlike betas... but clonodine would be useful for my high dose amphetamines at the right dose of course with the diazepam and lorazepam (at night if needed and break through anxiety if needed) diazepam is as needed too... but he said i could take it at low doses every day... the doses im prescribed too of course... 10 mg twice a day, rather try librium or even another longer acting or intermediate like clonazepam... 2x daily if needed, otherwise once at .5-1mg per dose then when i want to get off just switch to a longer acting and taper if needed..... GABA GABA GABA......... fuckin GABA.... jesus fucking christ...
"even christ would cringe at the site of your scars" - lyrics from "cringe" -

alkaline trio

my fav always tho im a metal head at heart.... im from mchenry where the lead vocalist Matt Skiba is from, trio also is from close 3 counties within the region... did you know that, bet u didn't (unless you are a die hard like me... haha not to brag but trio fans I am THE alkaline trio fan... from early EP's to their last "damnsesia"....
"just give me medicine, prescribe me anything, just knock me out and walk me through the door... while I have no desire to see through my own eyes anymore... anymore HA HA HA..." - "take lots with alcohol"
though im working and loving on "sobriety (3rd time i drank this year, and at a steady pace" I still love this band it helped me through so many hardships... old and even new AFI... and 311 old and new but mainly old of all except trio are my fav 3 bands.... but then again like I said I'm a post hardcore metalhead fan bigtime....
thanks BL you're all my best online pals tho i mainly read, have read since 2005 started posting in 08 though.... im more a researcher and learner... then post when ready nothing wrong with that... I attend AA/NA/HA meetings for the hell of it... I do know the praying thing out loud holding hands is a bit corny but whatever it shuts them the fuck up and they like it, and it feels good... to have both sober friends and you guys.... and user friends depending on the drug some i need to stay away from... like heroin... but just so i dont get a ticket for association guilty or whatever..... goodmorning from gurnee illiniois... good night to me... ill check up on this post later..
too bad i just saw this...
pharmacology is my dream... my DREAM... neuropharmacology to be exact with the pharmokinetics (spelling) I
am not a writer and im fucking finishing my last beer plus Fuck it gonna smoke some cigs then go to bed. after suboxone of course.... 20mg so a 4 mg drop its only been 10 days on 24