• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Todays a brightday on the Darkside. :)

lars90

lars90

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 11, 2012
Messages
523
Location
Germany/USA
Well I just felt like posting this just to give all you darksiders a little more hope out there

Its been 5 months or 22 weeks sense I did dxm the last time and I am feeling great I hardly get tinnitus anymore, I don't get horrible nightmares anymore, I don't get muscle tics any more, My picture memory is working better and better (This is the thing I am most happy about), the depersonalization is gone (I don't feel weird after I wake up anymore), my memory is still not good but defiantly better allot better, my hart beat has really gone down (it only goes up when I think about drugs or or in particular DXM), I hardly get depression anymore (when I get them they aren't like a hurricanes anymore and I don't totally feel like shit. The have really weaken allot) and last but not least my snowy vision is getting better.

This post is just there you give you some hope than everything will eventually go away with time no matter how intense or how bad it iser how intence or how bad it is :)
 
lars, this is such unbelievable and fantastic news!! I love that you decided to post some experience, strength and hope here for others to read and be inspired by. Congratulations!!! :)<3

Dissociatives are extremely scary to get off of; my experience with removing Methoxetamine from my life was truly terrifying, arduous and taxing. I was extremely frightened the first few months, and undoubtedly discouraged by my perceived lack of progress in terms of recovering mentally, physically and spiritually. But, like yourself, there turned out to be a turning point. I recall how utterly grateful I'd reached it, and it is so heartening to hear that anther out there has reached that same checkpoint and is willing to share the experience.

Again, my most sincere congratulations to you, my friend!

~ Vaya
 
Good for you mate, considering your age the damages you described could very easily have been permanent.

Let's hope you learned a lesson from this, even if the teaching method was kind of rough, eh? ;)

Also, many thanks for reminding me that most drug induced problems are really just temporary, and will most likely disappear if given enough time.

I feel like shit right now (no sleep last night, stopped taking diazepam daily, 10-20mg, since Sunday, and currently at the tail end of a one-week opiate habit taper using subutex, today's dose was 1,5mg, three reductions of 0,5mg per day left to go).

Seeing your post really cheered me up a bit, this is my first serious attempt at getting off everything since I was about your age. Took me fifteen years, half my life, but I feel I can do this.

Although my parents have always been supportive, this time I'm trying for my own sake, just for myself. So far it has worked way better than any previous, not completely serious attempts I tried, but always for some other reason than wanting to be myself again.

Your post made me realize that all this will be over in about a month, hopefully including PAWS, if I can tough it out until then.

Again, thank you, your post added a fresh perspective and renewed my fighting spirit, just when I needed it.
 
Last edited:
twato said:
Again, thank you, your post added a fresh perspective and renewed my fighting spirit, just when I needed it.
Click to expand...

Ah... The power of community. It's a beautiful thing to begin the day with! :)

~ Vaya
 
Misskins: you were with me from the start on thank you :) <3
twato: I love helping people Im glad I was able to open a crack of light in you darkness. Itll be all fine you do it I beive in you :)
vaya: thank you :) yeah those were the worst 3 months of my life. But its only the beginning.... I hope I dot get into moe trouble
 
Congrats! I had a friend who was addicted to DXM, and alcohol, like, HARDCORE. They would lie/cheat/steal/rob just for that bottle of syrup or a swig of booze. They admit their brain was ALL FUCKED UP from all the dex theyd chug. I think people underestimate how hard a DXM addiction can be on someone, especially when its their DOC. They have all the problems as a heroin addict in terms of stopping (ie they cant) in addition to all the delusional thoughts/brain activity. People really dont like...appreciate how hard that battle is for someone else (although they know firsthand how hard a dope addiction is, so its kinda ironic...). I mean you literally become addicted to being in a different world/escaping reality, just like a dope addict....except your tripping sack and delirious to boot, lol.

I dont think people realize how hard a nut this is to crack for the people in your boat. "oh its not even physically/mentally addictive!" Says the person who isn't physically/mentally addicted to DXM. Its DEFINITELY possible for someone if thats how your biochemistry is made up. Once again, drugs impact everyone differently and it seems like this was your equivalent to my opana addiction.

Toss in the possible long term physical damage, and it becomes even harder. Because now youre delirious, think that DXM is some substances god put in your hands, and now when you TRY and quit you get sad/depressed at how much damage you've done to yourself mentally, so its easy to throw in the towel and say "Fuck it all, I already fried my brain, why not keep doing it?"

Anyway, in summation: its VERY HARD to quit DXM from what I"ve seen when its your DOC, so my hats off to you amigo.
 
Congratulations Lars on the hard-earned improvement to your quality of life.

It's always good to hear positive accounts from people who have come back from a place which is extremely difficult to escape from. It's good to know that it can be done, and that it is worth it. It's a scary thing when you think that you may done yourself permanent damage from substance abuse. But it's really encouraging to hear about people fighting to reclaim their health and independence and getting solid results.

I'll take some inspiration from your post when it's time for me to start the long journey back. Just thinking about it scares me. It's been too long since my mind and body were free to regulate themselves naturally. I want to get that back, but I know I have to earn it.

Congratulations, again. I'm sure you'll see more improvements soon.
 
I'm really happy to see this post. DXM certainly has a huge weight on your mental and physical health, even after my first time of doing it I felt stupid. But nearly 6 months clean, that's amazing, I think you deserve to do something good for yourself today :) Go do something special (not drugs! =D) for yourself today, because you should really be proud of yourself.
 
I remember when you first were quitting, it was right before I went to jail for a bit lol. Congrats on staying off, July 5th is my 6 months clean =D keep it up, things only get better.
 
DooMMooD said:
Congrats! I had a friend who was addicted to DXM, and alcohol, like, HARDCORE. They would lie/cheat/steal/rob just for that bottle of syrup or a swig of booze. They admit their brain was ALL FUCKED UP from all the dex theyd chug. I think people underestimate how hard a DXM addiction can be on someone, especially when its their DOC. They have all the problems as a heroin addict in terms of stopping (ie they cant) in addition to all the delusional thoughts/brain activity. People really dont like...appreciate how hard that battle is for someone else (although they know firsthand how hard a dope addiction is, so its kinda ironic...). I mean you literally become addicted to being in a different world/escaping reality, just like a dope addict....except your tripping sack and delirious to boot, lol.

I dont think people realize how hard a nut this is to crack for the people in your boat. "oh its not even physically/mentally addictive!" Says the person who isn't physically/mentally addicted to DXM. Its DEFINITELY possible for someone if thats how your biochemistry is made up. Once again, drugs impact everyone differently and it seems like this was your equivalent to my opana addiction.

Toss in the possible long term physical damage, and it becomes even harder. Because now youre delirious, think that DXM is some substances god put in your hands, and now when you TRY and quit you get sad/depressed at how much damage you've done to yourself mentally, so its easy to throw in the towel and say "Fuck it all, I already fried my brain, why not keep doing it?"

Anyway, in summation: its VERY HARD to quit DXM from what I"ve seen when its your DOC, so my hats off to you amigo.
Click to expand...
thankou you a ton for that comment :) I think the same I still have a mental addiction and sometimes I have to stuff it witrh alkohol or like yesturday with a bad trip on nutmeg (so bad high). But Im getting ebtter and better. I hardly feel the addiction anymore. Yes I belive DXM is a very powerfuull drug its allot stronger than most of the easy stuff and is also very bad in does over the perescribes does against a cough. I only took it a few times and after the third time I though I didnt have an addiction because it said everywhere in the internet that its totally safe and you cant get hurt. Well for em it is a very unsafe drug.

I am glad I will never drink a swig of cough syrup again :)


Halif said:
Congratulations Lars on the hard-earned improvement to your quality of life.

It's always good to hear positive accounts from people who have come back from a place which is extremely difficult to escape from. It's good to know that it can be done, and that it is worth it. It's a scary thing when you think that you may done yourself permanent damage from substance abuse. But it's really encouraging to hear about people fighting to reclaim their health and independence and getting solid results.

I'll take some inspiration from your post when it's time for me to start the long journey back. Just thinking about it scares me. It's been too long since my mind and body were free to regulate themselves naturally. I want to get that back, but I know I have to earn it.

Congratulations, again. I'm sure you'll see more improvements soon.
Click to expand...

Okay Ill tell you exsacly what you gatta do right now. Get your favorite musik that always gets you abck up when your down, get a pice of paper and write down all the horrible things drugs did to you and all the postive things you could have done or still will do when your finally of them. Also think of all the people that harm from you ussage besided you're self and I'll pray for you even though I dont really beleave :)

try these these are my very faves :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_STHtvbWas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1efM2mYNocM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gx14YYMHc8

Thanks guys I dont know what I would have done with out you. Without this Forum :) <3
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top