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has your control over your drug use increased or decreased with time?

increased, right now i just smoke herb, i've been a drunk to the point of shakes, k'd out for months at a time, jammed constantly, and i've managed to put it all aside and just blaze a few times a day. i just can't take the addict lifestyle anymore, i don't have it in me to hustle right now (although i'll always have hustle in me.)
 
I used to do MDMA like every / every other week. That was pretty brutal. Now I take less MDMA and less often (1-2 times a month). But I have tried different ones since then. Still, more controlled. My boyfriend and I control ourselves because we only do stuff with each other (except for weed and some other things on occasion, but it's very rare). But yeah, it's much more controlled now :)
 
When i first broke the boundary of drugs other than weed my drug use increased a little bit for a few months. Fucked up, got on probation so it decreased for a good 8 months, but was defiantly still there. In the 2 months after I got off probation it skyrocketed. Every day use of multiple chemicals/ constantly high. Then went to a rehab program so it was nothing for a good while, and now my drug use is about once or 2 times a week which is about the same as it was when I was on probation
 
I'm in a weird transitional place right now. The missus and i broke up after 16 yrs.. she knew of my meth habit and occasionally joined in. But now I'm sharing a house with a mate who smokes dope everyday and shards on the weekend.. Turning our house into a den on weekends.

Maybe its just a honeymoon period.. Maybe I'm rebelling against her in some weird way.. But in any case I'm doing more meth now than I ever did in my late teens thru my 20's.. without structure and her "rules" and my ability to hold down my job and function.. Its kinda dangerous..
 
To be honest I don't think it has changed or anything. I always had the same control as when I first started. It's just whether or not I care at the time. If I don't care about anything my control is shit and if I do care about my life then I'm fine with controlling my drug use.
 
Used to roll every weekend for 6 months or so and smoke a bit of weed here and there. Now I roll once or twice a year, currently taking a years break and smoke weed a couple times a year.
 
It honestly depends on how busy I am. If I feel good about life and I am getting shit done, I usually don't feel like I have enough time to get fucked up but days like today, when I feel bad for other reasons, not to mention boredom, I use various drugs more than I should.

I would say my control is less than when I started. When I started, I only allowed myself to get fucked up on the weekends. I'm not sure when but that went away but now, day of the week doesn't really matter.
 
My control over drugs has increased lately along with my control over everything. Its not like i feel like i NEED to do anything anymore because iv already experienced pretty much everything that i have acces to at least as opposed to when it was still fresh and new ideas. Now a day of getting fucked up is just another day and i can easily go a week or so without it untill i get to bored lol
 
It's an interesting question, and my response to it will be mixed:

When it comes to certain substances like amphetamines and stimulants, my control has greatly, greatly increased, but it's only by learning from my mistakes, misusing those substances, in other words, that I learned this control. I wish that I could say, "yeah, well, I never really misused those substances to begin with, and I just sort of gained greater control over them with time..." but the truth is that, well, I was hooked and now, now I can take those substances once every so often and I know when enough is enough. But, part of that is that I don't feel the same euphoria either.

I often wonder... if those substances gave me the same euphoria today, would I still be hooked? And I think that yes, yes I probably would still be hooked. But now my jaw clenches, and I get all wired, and I don't feel the same level of confidence or see that same boost in performance.

When it comes to opiates, I think that my control has decreased, and I'm not at all ashamed to say that. (I don't think that anyone here should be ashamed anyway, but you know what I mean.) It's just that physical dependence bit, and I know that once I overcome that piece, I can stay "clean" or "not use" for however long as, for me and in my experience, the "mental cravings" just aren't very overpowering, not when it comes to opiates. But it's hard to not use when you get sick and such... know what I mean?
 
decreased. In high school I would keep it strictly to weekends or days off. Now I'll get high on any drug I like at any time, no matter what my responsibilities are.

I'm in a weird position right now. I really want to stop doing drugs but then I'll think of the rare occasion when I have a transcendent experience and I just think living completely sober would be lame as fuck. I wish I could be as happy sober as I was when I was a kid.

Drugs are pretty much the only thing I look forward to anymore.
 
It comes and goes in waves, I'm trying to get my drinking to a manageable level and am only drinking on the weekends which is nice. But it makes the weeks suck balls cause yeah I'll be able to control my use of alcohol, but only really if I find some other substance to indulge in. So in a way I don't have much control right now. But I'm better of than I was a month or two ago thats for damn sure!!
 
I would say, on the whole, I have better control over my basic urges to use. It is like whatever if I don't, swell if I do, but I don't let it get to me. I need the drugs I've developed dependence on, however, but I don't feel a real need to exceed my rx'd doses. I used to gobble drugs much more readily with more risk attached to being caught, but anymore I have been more prudent in that respect. Soon, though, I think I might have to treat myself to a little butalbital (not mine) and do my much fantasized combo of amps and barbs. That combo is just SO intriguing because it is reportedly great, and I am a sucker for living in the past - haha. In any event, I think the reason why I feel more in control is because I know if I just take my rx'd doses of meds, I have the capacity to feel quite good, and that is better than feeling shitty. Not sure that makes sense. I also think with my increasing interest in going into a career in medicine, I see drugs a bit differently. I have actually contemplated doing a partial taper on my daily clonazepam - slow, of course, but maybe, or maybe cutting back on my nighttime alprazolam. Benzo dependence is not a great thing, and everyday I know I am strengthening it, giving more of my independence away. Frankly, I'd like to be able to use drugs without the clouding of unwanted drugs, so if I don't want benzos I'll be able to do whatever I want and feel good from just that. On the other hand, I am really not sure about giving up a 3 mg/day clonazepam and 1 mg/day alprazolam script, so I would do a clandestine taper of sorts. I'd like the able to use benzos PRN, and I wish I could fully without having to take them everyday. I am going on now, but the basics are that I see drugs in a different light, am more satisfied with my non-drugged out state than I had been, and have much more respect for drugs and their use.
 
I would say my control over drug use is much better than it used to be. But like verso said, I learned this from going through a time when it was out of control. I now am much more knowledgable about drugs and addiction and have much more insight into my own mind/brain and how it works and am much more honest with myself about where my limits are, what drugs I can or can't use without losing control, how to not act on cravings, and the consequences of drug use. I have learned the hard way that, while it may feel that way in the short term, drugs are not the solution to my problems and that if I lose control of my use it will harm me. I have also learned a lot about myself and the reason I use drugs in the first place, and I now choose what drugs I use and when and why I use them carefully, instead of just reacting and using them subconsciously to cope with anxiety, depression, etc. I have also learned that you can be in pain (physical or emotional) and not NEED to do everything possible to immediately alleviate that pain.

I am not sure if control over drug use is something that can be learned without going through all this stuff. Some people are simply not prone to addiction (or reckless drug use), but it is not because they have better self control, it is because their brain is different and it is much easier for them. And many people who are prone to addiction or other problems with drugs never learn to control their drug use. Actually, I don't know if it should even be called "control over drug use", it's more about controlling your choices and behaviour and learning that you can choose not to use certain drugs or choose when/why to use drugs, or choose not to act on a craving. It's a very difficult thing to learn and you really have to learn a lot about yourself in order to be able to do it. And no one can do it 100% of the time.
 
Mine has gotten much better=D i use to eat up all the pillls i could get my hands on, mainly stims. Smoke, snort, eat meth every weekend untill i realised 2 years had gone by. I no longer do any stims anymore. I forgot what i ever liked about them lol.
 
I've always considered myself to be in control of my drug use. Gone from weed right through to being a heroin addict with almost everything in between, and the most control I've ever had is now. Because being an out of control heroin addict has to be bad news, although popping pills and doing crack at 7 o clock in the morning was fiiiiiiiine.....at the time:? I guess I just respect drugs more theses days.
 
Ive never really had much self control when it comes to drug use. I have a very addictive personality and addiction runs in my family as well. Over the years I feel Ive been better at judging when not to use drugs, but I still take any opportunity I have to get high on something.
 
I definetly have better control over my heroin use now than I used to have.
One reason is that I am on a methadone script so I no longer need to score several times a day.
The other major factor is that I stopped injecting my gear & returned to smoking it. I guess that like a lot of folk I found that as soon as I stopped smoking heroin & started injecting it that I went downhill very quickly indeed.
But I think being on methadone has been a major help in controlling my use as it gives me the choice of whether I use on a particular day or not.
 
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