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Military Relationships.

sms143

sms143

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
142
Location
TN
Anyone in this kind of relationship...
good/bad experiences?

My husband is more than likely about to join,and I am kinda nervous. If he does join,I am def. going to keep myself occupied and I am already going back to school.But would like it if I traveled with him.
 
sms143 said:
Anyone in this kind of relationship...
good/bad experiences?

My husband is more than likely about to join,and I am kinda nervous. If he does join,I am def. going to keep myself occupied and I am already going back to school.But would like it if I traveled with him.
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Good to see you - hope everything is good for you.

There really is no plus side to being a military spouse except for the fact that your hubby will get buff if he isn't already. The fact that you'll rarely see him and he might be killed/mutilated/brainfucked probably undercuts the buff benefits though. Basically it's a super low paying job for people with very few prospects (which obviously includes more and more of us as the economy continues to slowly sink down) that keeps you away from your family from long stretches and provides high likelihood of death, injury, or madness.

There USED to be pluses for the soldiers. Lots of cheap third world prostitutes and good drugs. But my impression is that the military has become about a thousand times more tightass about such things than when I was young, and the current warzones don't really lend themselves to partying unless you like the local "dancing boys".

So it doesn't really sound like such a great change for either of you, but what do I know? I hope in any case you will have designated men on the side to take care of you while hubby is away. A lot of people in the "straight swinger" (square/polyester type swingers) claim their scene started at Air Force bases as a way to satisfy wives when their husbands were deployed....who knows if it's true but I'm sure you'll need someone.....

Good luck in any case!
 
This isn't to say anything bad about you or your husband-just my experience. I don't know your age but you're probably old enough to take this seriously. The second to last girl I messed around with with had a military husband.

He was overseas. She was bored. Sober, she wanted me and my friend to take turns on her. We didn't as neither of us are into that shit. He just made out with her. I got head from her. Her reasoning was "I don't know what he is doing." and "He knows" but later said "he won't ever have to know." Beyond that, she also fucked an ex fiance of hers.

This chick is only 19. When I asked her "why are you getting married?" She replied, "I don't know." She has been legally married for about a year now but the ceremony is today. She said "what happened in the past is in the past" when I told her that I don't feel comfortable attending-which I am not. I am at a friends rather than at that wedding.

Their wedding is going on as I type this. I know this is only one aspect of the whole thing.

I am not trying to put distrust in your head or anything btw. My buddy T irl told me that's why chicks shouldn't marry military guys when they aren't mature enough to handle it and that probably doesn't apply to you-I do have a friend that travels with her military man and they are great together. He's a really good guy and she's a really cool chick too and seems to enjoy it as far as I know.
 
^Man that's rough, I could not attend that wedding either, the guy deserves to know. While he's overseas doing our governments dirty work struggling to hold on to any remaining sanity, likely revolving around "his girl back home", she's at home doing domestic dirty work.

I could only ever imagine this working out in the very strongest of relationships. With the high risk of all the things sockpuppet mentioned, I can't say that I recommend this route.
 
Hi Sockpuppet. ;D

After reading all these replies I am very worried now. I was like 80% ok with him joining but now not so much.

@Logic, That sounds really rough for her man overseas.If he only knew what she did.Cheating is horrible in general but when a man is in the military doing dirty work and probably thinking about her,and thinking about her thinking of him its worse to me.


@Sockpuppet, My husband had mentioned about me messing around with Eric before,while hes far away. But what would that mean on his end? Also,he already looks damn good physically..:) So he'll look better! :D

Anyways I'm not for him joining so much now...I am a bit scared.
 
CoffeeDrinker said:
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Just had to add to the thread.
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^^

Wow - what an judgmental 21st century asshole that facebook dude is. If that's genuine the mods should take it down and I hope the woman finds a way to sue his ass...


sms ;) I don't know what to tell you about enlisting - most people I've known who've been in the service over the past decade have hated it and felt like they were fucked over by the system. Also it seems pretty clear the US military will be busy for years to come all over the world as the country's power continues to decline. So personally I'd suggest running away to join the circus or most anything else before enlisting in 2012. But all that aside, as we've said before - the sex stuff is only going to work if you and your husband talk about it directly and agree on ground rules. You need to agree on who each of you can fuck while he's gone.

Anyway - you sound in good spirits so I'm sure you'll figure it out. Just tell him what you're thinking and what you want/need. Good luck!
 
hahaha good luck with this one OP. Being in the military is nothing but a big cheat fest. Better hope you're husband doesn't get deployed. Especially better hope you're husband doesn't pull into port in Thailand. But no worries, spouses are always cheating on their husbands while they're deployed anyway so I'm sure you'll have your hands full anyway.
 
All of these answers seem to have many truths in them. I actually laughed out loud about the guy saying he wasn't into that type of thing and then talks about a bj. I see his point, not into taking turns, just I thought he was taking a real moral high ground. and then he went to my level. As to the question....just realize that it will probably not last, even if it does he will probably become a fucking moron or just really insane PTSD, maybe not killed or injured physically, although could be. I think it's just a bad idea...there's plenty of law abiding regular citizens anyways, the military is his way of life, is it your's? That's up to you!
 
I don't understand,people in military relationships make it work I'm sure.And I don't believe everyone is a big fat cheater.And I have heard of ppl in the military changing when they come back from a deployment...scary.
 
Military is incredible. The chance of dying while in service is actually very slim depending on MOS, my father did over 25 years in the Army and received no purple hearts, and he was following our infantry as part of communications. Military has a lot of pluses, I don't know what the fuck some people are talking about. Guaranteed pay, full coverage health, dental, life insurance (don't pay a dime) for the whole family. Not to mention VA loans for housing, VA paying for those out of the service, retirement at the age of 40, GI bill for college (now transferable to family members), decent rate auto insurance, the perks are huge! Lets not forget that if the soldier PCS's the spouse and children get to go along, if overseas you get military housing, schools, hospitals, etc, let's not forget the stores and shops on post/base, no state taxes biatch! That means cheap cigs, groceries, free medication when it's filled on post/base, oh my god the service is the only way that my family and I are still alive and able to survive.
 
I agree though, during deployment, it can be stressful as some said. But if she can't stay faithful, then she was never a keeper to begin with. Hell, my mom was happy when my dad did tours overseas, meant more girl nights out with her friends, didn't have to worry about making nice dinners, she went back to school, got a job, enjoyed her hobbies. Just gotta stay busy, think of it in the same respect as when a loved one goes off to prison I guess lol.
 
Been there, done that. Stay ONLY if you are head over heels deeply in love with this man and cannot picture yourself ever being with anyone else. It is extremely hard to have a relationship when you rarely ever see your partner. They are fighting for us, risking their lives for us, but once they sign up for the military that becomes their #1 priority and you will be a distant second. Military divorce rates are much higher than average couple divorce rates for many reasons. Way tooooo many young kids get married asap before their man deploys because they think that a legal binding contract will prevent infidelity and theyll be able to reap the benefits the military gives to married couples. Sadly most of these marriages dont work out, i know a girl who married her high school sweet heart and she concieved his kid before he deployed..she gave birth and raised the baby all alone for a year while he was screwing everything with a vag in Japan. Im telling you all this just so you know the major commitment taken by military wives and girlfriends. To be truly happy in a relationship with someone in active duty, you need to be willing to put ur life second to military duties and be willing to support him no matter what, even if it means moving around the country with him or waiting at home alone during long tours. I know a ton of guys in the armed forces, and the temptation gets them too. SO many guys cheat overseas, not all, not the genuinely good guys, but that temptation is everywhere for them and its hard to turn down after months or years without a females touch. Be prepared for all of this. The only way it could work is if you BOTH are madly in love with one another, respect eachother fully, and can go long periods of time alone without sexual interaction and not feel tempted to cheat. THEN you can make it work but your needs will never come first, he belongs to the military first, you second.
 
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I dont know about other branches, but the Marines have a tactic of getting back at their cheating wives or girlfriends. If they find out that their girl was unfaithful while they were away, they take a naked picture of her (which most military men, who are gone for long periods of time, will certainly have) and they send the naked picture of her to EVERYONE! Every military member in their phone book recieves the naked picture and they keep it circulating as a way to publically humiliate her and label her as a tramp to the platoon. Not the most mature way to hande things, but its been tradition for awhile. I knew someone in the corps and they would often recieve pictures of random naked military wives/gfs with a caption saying something degrading and a request to fwd the picture to other members of the military .
 
lol, I have no clue despite 9 years in, with 7 being regular force, here in the CDN Forces. So, the times I was deployed, I had open relationships anyways [I don't do exclusive to begin with] and thus it really made no difference in the "cheating" dept. Emotionally, I really missed my GF when I was gone. But alas, I just fucking dealt with it. When inside the wire at K.A.F., phone and IM/internet was readily available and I talked and chatted and sent photos back and forth a lot. The risk never really bothered me as such. Yeah, I was scared in the moment when it becomes a two way firing range. But in general I don't really give a fuck and the risk is very slim.

Again, I don't know about the U.S. benefits and pay, but here it is quite good really, and generally any given MOSID is on par with a civilian of an equivalent type of occupation, with many adjustments for anything remotely specialized. I am commissioned and actually make quite a good amount of $$ and my job is quite enjoyable TBH and I am located in my dream location and there is no foreseen reason why I would be sent anywhere else except for an overseas deployment. [keep in mind we don't have generic non-mission oriented bases like the US does in Japan and Germany etc everything is for some sort of undertaking with most being tiny U.N. observer related deployments]

My current G.F. is also in the service, granted in the Reserves [Which in Canada are very different and essentially you can fill out a form, turn your kit in and leave, no questions asked, and the Reserves have not been forced into deployments since I think Korean war] and in such an unrelated command and holds the same rank and thus is not frat. :P

Over all, in my personal experiences, being in the service has had little to no impact on my relationships and has otherwise been a fucking awesome occupation and I am not leaving anytime soon.
 
I'm so blown away that the guy on the drugs forum in an Guy Fawkes mask is a commissioned officer in the Canadian military I'm going to withdraw all my advice to sms and instead suggest she and her hubby and Eric emigrate to Canada and enlist. I assume there is no drug testing up there and they have to respect alternative lifestyles and all that good stuff - plus everybody LOVES Canada and Canadians even if they are technically soldiers - so it's nothing like being a servant of Uncle Sam's.....

THAT sounds like a plan - if you can get in I say go for it. You'll have an open relationship anyway and Canada definitely has much more future than the US....
 
^
random drug tests are considered to violate the Charter rights on arbitrary search and seizure. They can only be done for a)cause- like after an accident or if you flip out and try to eat a face. b) If you are particularly safety sensitive for intoxication like, say a pilot. c) If you have been caught or admitted and asked for help with recovery and are a recovering addict and therefore KNOWN to have been a drug user, which more or less resolves to being the same as point a. If you are caught, are you not a dealer, it is considered a Health Care issue and you are protected by the Charter again, re: discrimination on disability, and are generally entitled to be forgiven once, dependent on you entering treatment and testing clean.

I'm not sure what you mean by respect alternate life styles? Your sexual orientation and gender identity, religion and personal beliefs are of course enshrined again and held as inviolable. Your sexual partner(s) is in no way the governments, including the C.F.'s concern (aside from underage and rape/non-consent...) and is protected as privacy, search and seizure, and freedom of concision. ...it ain't illegal to have an open relationship or otherwise fuck anyone of age who consents.

But yeah tl;dr...I love being in the C.F...but I gather it is radically different then the US Forces on many points, both in being more liberal on personal life, and on stuff like pay and not being randomly posted to fucking Guam or some shit. But as I said, my personal exp is that it did not really affect my relationships one way or another...well, I did sorta meet my current G.F. here, and briefly also some chick in the R.C.A.F. who was a hot, lithe, cute and kinky little redhead...fucking om nom nom!
 
sockpuppet said:
I'm so blown away that the guy on the drugs forum in an Guy Fawkes mask is a commissioned officer in the Canadian military I'm going to withdraw all my advice to sms and instead suggest she and her hubby and Eric emigrate to Canada and enlist. I assume there is no drug testing up there and they have to respect alternative lifestyles and all that good stuff - plus everybody LOVES Canada and Canadians even if they are technically soldiers - so it's nothing like being a servant of Uncle Sam's.....

THAT sounds like a plan - if you can get in I say go for it. You'll have an open relationship anyway and Canada definitely has much more future than the US....
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Wha??!?!?!?..... Hmmm sitting here thinking now.. teehee...
 
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