Not Only Am I Not Dead...I'm CLEAN

[Vaya]

Better hope the people in your AA group dont find out your on suboxone, they will kick you right out of the orginization!!

I'd like to echo the sentiment that this is a misinformed expression. AA is not an "organization," in the strict sense of that word, nor does it discriminate against members involved in maintenance/tapering programs. Sub oxide for an opiate addict is, in every way, akin to chlordiazepoxide (Librium) for a physically-dependent alcoholic.

~ Vaya

 

[Swimmingdancer]

Better hope the people in your AA group dont find out your on suboxone, they will kick you right out of the orginization!!

While it is true that that statement is incorrect, I do have some sympathy/understanding for where they may have got that impression.

In my experience, many people in AA/NA believe that you are not clean if you are taking a maintenance drug such as methadone or Suboxone. I know of NA groups where you are not allowed to claim sobriety if you are on opioid maintenance. This can be pretty upsetting and disempowering for someone who is clean from all other drugs to not be allowed to get their 1 year (or any length of time) sober chip like someone else. I have been told things by people in NA like “If you’re on methadone you aren’t clean”, “People on methadone are just taking legal heroin and are walking around high all the time”, etc. This can be very alienating, dismissive and discouraging for someone who has worked very hard to stop using other drugs. Methadone/Suboxone do not make it magically easy to stop using heroin (or whatever opioid they are addicted to), and people who are on normal stable long-term maintenance doses do NOT get “high” off their methadone. Now obviously not every person in NA is the same and not every AA group is the same. But I have found this attitude towards people who take maintenance drugs to be very prevalent in NA IME and I can totally understand why it bothers people.

 

[jones-in_J]

Yea i think its fucked uo how so many ppl turn their back on someone just for being on suboxome

On anorher note if you can do it more power to you but fir me tryint to stay clean plus reading/!writing on bluelight would be a tough situation

 

[RedLeader]

I'm almost 9 months off of alcohol, but the last time I used heroin was about 30 days ago. If I went to an AA meeting, which chip would I get? A lot of the hardliners would probably tell me to get a 30 day chip, since I'm only *technically* a month into recovery. But wait, I took some NyQuil last night, which contains 10% alcohol (and felt a bit of warmth in my throat). Should I get the 24 hour chip? Suboxone...methadone...

You know, it's all petty bullshit. IMO, the coins are only important to people who don't have anything else at all to hold onto in their lives, and if you're 5 years clean and that chip's all you have going for you, that's not a very successful recovery. You're clean when you believe that you are, right? Forget all of that pressure around being weak and powerless and how you need to have all of this faith in the tenants of AA. If you quit your DOC and have turned your life around, who gives a shit if you technically qualify for some coin. The point of the program should be to help people turn their lives around, not to obsess about technicalities of sobriety like it's some athletic event.

AA/NA is good because it allows you to be around other people who know what it's like to be put against society, and it's also good for social/professional/romantic networking. When you get too caught up in it, too obsessed with it, though, it becomes an unhealthy replacement addiction.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXKCXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, look at it this way: Regardless of what it is, Suboxone was a step down from heroin, and getting off of Suboxone will be a step down from being on Suboxone. When I was on Suboxone maintenance, it felt normal, sure. But when I got off of it, I felt even more normal. Even better (after I could sleep at least!). It's a step in the recovery process, and a step in the right direction once you know you're strong enough to peel off that final layer of protection. Life becomes even fuller, you feel even more good emotions. You took the path that you needed to in order to get totally clean. If those people in the meetings cannot respect that, then f--- them. I cannot wait until you're off of Suboxone, but instead just becuase I know you'll be even happier.

Step1: addiction
Step2: suboxone
Step3: totally clean

 

[jones-in_J]

I'm almost 9 months off of alcohol, but the last time I used heroin was about 30 days ago. If I went to an AA meeting, which chip would I get? A lot of the hardliners would probably tell me to get a 30 day chip, since I'm only *technically* a month into recovery. But wait, I took some NyQuil last night, which contains 10% alcohol (and felt a bit of warmth in my throat). Should I get the 24 hour chip? Suboxone...methadone...

You know, it's all petty bullshit. IMO, the coins are only important to people who don't have anything else at all to hold onto in their lives, and if you're 5 years clean and that chip's all you have going for you, that's not a very successful recovery. You're clean when you believe that you are, right? Forget all of that pressure around being weak and powerless and how you need to have all of this faith in the tenants of AA. If you quit your DOC and have turned your life around, who gives a shit if you technically qualify for some coin. The point of the program should be to help people turn their lives around, not to obsess about technicalities of sobriety like it's some athletic event.

AA/NA is good because it allows you to be around other people who know what it's like to be put against society, and it's also good for social/professional/romantic networking. When you get too caught up in it, too obsessed with it, though, it becomes an unhealthy replacement addiction.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXKCXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, look at it this way: Regardless of what it is, Suboxone was a step down from heroin, and getting off of Suboxone will be a step down from being on Suboxone. When I was on Suboxone maintenance, it felt normal, sure. But when I got off of it, I felt even more normal. Even better (after I could sleep at least!). It's a step in the recovery process, and a step in the right direction once you know you're strong enough to peel off that final layer of protection. Life becomes even fuller, you feel even more good emotions. You took the path that you needed to in order to get totally clean. If those people in the meetings cannot respect that, then f--- them. I cannot wait until you're off of Suboxone, but instead just becuase I know you'll be even happier.

Step1: addiction
Step2: suboxone
Step3: totally clean

I think you missed a couple x's in his username

 

[xxkcxx]

I think you missed a couple x's in his username

qft

 

[Pale Rider]

Having been a back seat follower on BL for ages and only recently joined, your story KC has to be one of the most inspirational things i've read on here for a long time, good for you my friend, i'm well pleased for you, take care and stay safe.

 

[RedLeader]

I did it for the attention.

 

[xxkcxx]

Having been a back seat follower on BL for ages and only recently joined, your story KC has to be one of the most inspirational things i've read on here for a long time, good for you my friend, i'm well pleased for you, take care and stay safe.

Not sure you can even understand how much that means to me thank you

 

[Pale Rider]

Not sure you can even understand how much that means to me thank you

no worries you're very well come...

 

[Vaya]

But wait, I took some NyQuil last night, which contains 10% alcohol (and felt a bit of warmth in my throat). Should I get the 24 hour chip? Suboxone...methadone...

Er... No... If the NyQuil were for cough relief, or perhaps as a sleep aid, how does ths qualify as use?

You have as much clean time as you have been abstinent from the type of drug abuse that landed you in the rooms in the first place, Red! CONGRATULATIONS on 9 months, my friend... You have truly sent inspiration my way to keep up my trek... Almost at 8 months myself, I've been in a rough patch with it but am currently working on my fourth step at the moment and am getting a lot more out of it than the first two I did the other times I attempted to stay clean (with some success) but ultimately didn't do the footwork necessary to ensure my long-term sobriety.

The only people I've ever met in the program who would consider the NyQuil thing a relapse, by the way, are the really old-timers. Who've been around since the 1960s-1970s and who have really warped and antiquated views of the way the world and current drug culture/opioid maintenance work. Pay these types no mind! You are getting sober for you, not someone else!

Above all, afford yourself the opportunity to recognize and be proud of all that you have accomplished these past 9 months.

~ Vaya

 

[ArtVandalay]

I couldn't get on bluelight for the longest time in recovery. Too much of a trigger. Glad AA is working for you!! I too was skeptical of 12 steps at first. To naysayers I say, don't knock it till you try it.

 

[podsnomo]

I couldn't get on bluelight for the longest time in recovery. Too much of a trigger. Glad AA is working for you!! I too was skeptical of 12 steps at first. To naysayers I say, don't knock it till you try it.

Amen ArtV. For those hopeless alcoholic/addicts like me, the 12 steps is a simple prescription for living. The AA big book is my instruction manual. It works. For me, and yes, if you haven't tried it, you sure as hell can't knock it.

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation." —HERBERT SPENCER

 

[Vaya]

^i really love the book Living Sober, too. Really assisted me in getting perspective regarding the base necessities of life in our society and how to properly adjust to them with a (at last) Lear head!

~ Vaya

 

[podsnomo]

^i really love the book Living Sober, too. Really assisted me in getting perspective regarding the base necessities of life in our society and how to properly adjust to them with a (at last) Lear head!

~ Vaya

Thanks Vaya, I just ordered it, and a couple others I've been meaning to get.

 

[Vaya]

^I wish I had it in front of me, but the chapter titles really speak for themselves, stuff like (not verbatim) "On Medications," "Dealing With Social Functions," "Holding a Job," "Fostering Self Esteem," etc. Just really basic and practical things that amount to a big deal that AA's Big Book just can't address due to the nature of its already-extant content.

I hope you like it

~ Vaya

 

[podsnomo]

^I'll let you know.

 

[FiatFlux]

Compliments on your sobriety. After my last overdose I decided to start going to meetings also, but to the other fellowship (NA) because frankly I hate AA and the old-timers who wont let a new addict talk. Also I don't drink so going and saying that I'm an alcoholic makes me feel like an idiot
...
I have 103 days clean off heroin and crack today which I couldn't have done without NA, however I have stopped going to meetings because everyone i work with also attends NA meetings, and all of your private business gets broadcast because people don't really respect the principle of anonymity... I do highly reccommend the basic text to anyone who thinks they are an addict and for whom drugs have become a major problem in their lives...

 

[podsnomo]

Screw the old timer AAs who won't let a young addict talk (or anyy addict. alcool IS a drug, hello?!?!). I'm glad you have NA b/c some places NA is scarce compared to AA. If you want to try some AA meetings, try newcomer meetings and find some with younger people. The oldtimers often have good things to say, but sometimes they get a little b=bit of a guru-complex going on and turn a discussion meeting into a speaker meeting b/c they won't STFU.

Maybe you can find some meetings further away? The fellowship is an important part. But if you do go without the meetings, I hope you can keep clean w/o them.

And I hope others will take your recommendation to read that text if they have problems with addiction like we do.

Lastly, mega congrats on 103 days. Heroin and crack.... fugganA mate! I'm hooked on kratom. Makes my problem seem trivial.

peace,
pnm
p.s. did you get clean just by meetings and home detox, or did you go to a treatment facility?

Compliments on your sobriety. After my last overdose I decided to start going to meetings also, but to the other fellowship (NA) because frankly I hate AA and the old-timers who wont let a new addict talk. Also I don't drink so going and saying that I'm an alcoholic makes me feel like an idiot
...
I have 103 days clean off heroin and crack today which I couldn't have done without NA, however I have stopped going to meetings because everyone i work with also attends NA meetings, and all of your private business gets broadcast because people don't really respect the principle of anonymity... I do highly reccommend the basic text to anyone who thinks they are an addict and for whom drugs have become a major problem in their lives...

 

[Vaya]

Congratulations on all this clean time I'm reading about!!!

And hey, NA, AA, Christianity, basket weaving... Whatever allows us to live normal, healthy and productive lives. I don't mean to make a pitch for any one type of recovery over another!

~ Vaya