Cyanoide
Bluelighter
I almost passed out last night after enough beer(s) with Lyrica - exactly the thing I warned about when combining pregabalin, alcohol and benzos. Especially alcohol and Lyrica potentiate each other very much and this combination can be unpredictable if you don't know exactly how your body reacts. I pushed my limits a bit with the alcohol, 1200 mg Lyrica by itself is no problem for me. I got very nauseated after 3 pints and had to force myself to throw up - it definitely helped. However I just struggled to keep myself awake and after awhile I just thought, oh well, I can just go to sleep as well. I don't know if I fell asleep or passed out - but I definitely had good night's sleep :D I always get very deep sleep with Lyrica, without waking up every other hour as I always do normally.
I don't even really know why, but I got the idea of taking some MDAI today. One reason is that I avoid (strong) psychs now when there's a bigger risk for anxiety/panic due to my benzo withdrawal. Otherwise I'd have chosen a psychedelic, I'm not a fan of MDAI (or even MDMA for that matter) - it's just too fuzzy and cozy, not "wild" like psychedelics that really make me feel alive. But, I'm not sure I'm going to take any psych as long as I'm on benzo WD. Maybe 2C-C or some very easy-going tryptamine if I feel like I'm in the right mood. More than the physical symptoms I'm afraid of the rebound symptoms benzo WD can have - in my case it would be panic attacks and extremely strong anxiety all the time. I really hope there won't be any rebound symptoms. The physical symptoms are quite easy to manage and some propranolol and a small dose of Lyrica keeps them under control if necessary.
200 mg MDAI feels quite nice. Nice, but that's about it. I know many would think it's not a smart idea to take a potent serotonin releaser when I still feel my mind is messed up a bit after quitting escitalopram. But, I feel like my serotonin levels are messed up already so what the hell...And it's already 1,5 months since I quit escitalopram. I'll take some 5-HTP afterwards even though I've never got any comedown from MDAI - in fact I usually feel better than normally the following day(s). I'll take a larger dose of noopept than I normally would if my mind gets too cloudy. It should help - 30 mg noopept while on 90 mg MXE made me feel almost sober (the only thing left was the bodyload from MXE, and it was then I realized how speedy MXE actually is).
Wait, wat? Order DMT?
I totally forgot to comment this. I'm interested since you are one of the few people I've ever heard mentioning this (I googled it and only found a few people have got this reaction - especially from escitalopram). Was your anxiety during waking up the result of some medication (SSRI in particular), or did you just get it without any medication? I'm interested to know what could be behind this phenomenon. It feel like my brain is throwing all its stores of neurotransmitters out at once - but why only when I wake up in the morning? And why not when I wake up during night (which happens just about every other hour)? It's like my brain knows it's soon time to wake up and prepares to bombard me with fierce anxiety and fear - how it does it when I sleep is something I don't understand. Well, at least it has the effect of me getting up from the bed quickly - if I stay in the bed it prolongs the symptoms. If I jump out of bed the symptoms are almost totally gone after a few minutes. The really strange thing is my heart rate is normal although I have this intense feeling of anxiety and fear.
@TAC: I know I already asked about this before and if you've already experienced and commented about it here pardon me, I haven't been very active here lately. Have you tried 4-HO-MET already, and if yes what's your verdict? I'm interested since you sometimes have quite different reactions to certain compounds than I do (in particular DPT and 4-HO-MiPT). Our very different experiences with DPT could be explained with our differnt ROA though - I've only insufflated it and have had to go through the quite (sometimes very) unpleasurable effects for 4-5 hours (and the lingering effects that continue for quite many hours after that).
DPT is the only compound that induces almost psychosis-like symptoms in me. And I know for certain my brain is very hardy against psychoses; it has been bombarded with different meds and drugs for over 12 years and I've had a total mental breakdown after (ab)using copious amounts of MDMA 8 years ago which resulted in panic disorder, depression, GOD and OCD (I got all these diagnoses at once, fortunately I've overcome the first two totally). But I've never had any reaction that even remotely would be psychotic. Not even my strongest trip to date (1100 mg 25C-NBOme + 100 mg MXE + 100 mg 4-HO-DPT) was psychotic, though I did leave my physical body for quite a few hours. Only DPT seems to change my personality in such a way that if I would take a larger dose I would not be able to distinguish it from the real me. I would actually think I'm an old grandmother, a little girl or a chimpanzee - and I'm not kidding here, DPT has actually transformed my personality into those - I've just been able to be aware that those are induced by DPT and not the real me. I'm going to freebase most of my DPT and vape it and see if I react differently. Now's not the right time for such intense trips but in due time.
I don't even really know why, but I got the idea of taking some MDAI today. One reason is that I avoid (strong) psychs now when there's a bigger risk for anxiety/panic due to my benzo withdrawal. Otherwise I'd have chosen a psychedelic, I'm not a fan of MDAI (or even MDMA for that matter) - it's just too fuzzy and cozy, not "wild" like psychedelics that really make me feel alive. But, I'm not sure I'm going to take any psych as long as I'm on benzo WD. Maybe 2C-C or some very easy-going tryptamine if I feel like I'm in the right mood. More than the physical symptoms I'm afraid of the rebound symptoms benzo WD can have - in my case it would be panic attacks and extremely strong anxiety all the time. I really hope there won't be any rebound symptoms. The physical symptoms are quite easy to manage and some propranolol and a small dose of Lyrica keeps them under control if necessary.
200 mg MDAI feels quite nice. Nice, but that's about it. I know many would think it's not a smart idea to take a potent serotonin releaser when I still feel my mind is messed up a bit after quitting escitalopram. But, I feel like my serotonin levels are messed up already so what the hell...And it's already 1,5 months since I quit escitalopram. I'll take some 5-HTP afterwards even though I've never got any comedown from MDAI - in fact I usually feel better than normally the following day(s). I'll take a larger dose of noopept than I normally would if my mind gets too cloudy. It should help - 30 mg noopept while on 90 mg MXE made me feel almost sober (the only thing left was the bodyload from MXE, and it was then I realized how speedy MXE actually is).
Wait, wat? Order DMT?
I used that have this fiercely. I still have it but not quite as bad. It's like coming back into the world and your brain realizes how shitty it feels.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I totally forgot to comment this. I'm interested since you are one of the few people I've ever heard mentioning this (I googled it and only found a few people have got this reaction - especially from escitalopram). Was your anxiety during waking up the result of some medication (SSRI in particular), or did you just get it without any medication? I'm interested to know what could be behind this phenomenon. It feel like my brain is throwing all its stores of neurotransmitters out at once - but why only when I wake up in the morning? And why not when I wake up during night (which happens just about every other hour)? It's like my brain knows it's soon time to wake up and prepares to bombard me with fierce anxiety and fear - how it does it when I sleep is something I don't understand. Well, at least it has the effect of me getting up from the bed quickly - if I stay in the bed it prolongs the symptoms. If I jump out of bed the symptoms are almost totally gone after a few minutes. The really strange thing is my heart rate is normal although I have this intense feeling of anxiety and fear.
@TAC: I know I already asked about this before and if you've already experienced and commented about it here pardon me, I haven't been very active here lately. Have you tried 4-HO-MET already, and if yes what's your verdict? I'm interested since you sometimes have quite different reactions to certain compounds than I do (in particular DPT and 4-HO-MiPT). Our very different experiences with DPT could be explained with our differnt ROA though - I've only insufflated it and have had to go through the quite (sometimes very) unpleasurable effects for 4-5 hours (and the lingering effects that continue for quite many hours after that).
DPT is the only compound that induces almost psychosis-like symptoms in me. And I know for certain my brain is very hardy against psychoses; it has been bombarded with different meds and drugs for over 12 years and I've had a total mental breakdown after (ab)using copious amounts of MDMA 8 years ago which resulted in panic disorder, depression, GOD and OCD (I got all these diagnoses at once, fortunately I've overcome the first two totally). But I've never had any reaction that even remotely would be psychotic. Not even my strongest trip to date (1100 mg 25C-NBOme + 100 mg MXE + 100 mg 4-HO-DPT) was psychotic, though I did leave my physical body for quite a few hours. Only DPT seems to change my personality in such a way that if I would take a larger dose I would not be able to distinguish it from the real me. I would actually think I'm an old grandmother, a little girl or a chimpanzee - and I'm not kidding here, DPT has actually transformed my personality into those - I've just been able to be aware that those are induced by DPT and not the real me. I'm going to freebase most of my DPT and vape it and see if I react differently. Now's not the right time for such intense trips but in due time.
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