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Long Term Drug Abuse... do you ever come back?

DustBunny

DustBunny

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 14, 2012
Messages
2
Location
Canada
Hi there. Ive been using drugs basically all my life.
It started out raiding my parents drug closets, (shit even at 8 i didnt know what getting high was, but i searched for it)
then it moved on to pot coke x and you know how it goes frm there
Then I found Opiates, and got married to her. Our relationship lasted 6-8 years, getting on and off and on and off but never for very long.
Now Im 4 days clean, and im determined to stay that way.
Its just, obviously with using drugs for so long i was self medicating for something...
I was just wondering, if anybody knew, how long it takes for your brain to return to normal?
If you can ever return to who you were before?
Does your serotonin levels EVER go back to normal?
Is this horrible wretched feeling here to stay???

When does it get better???

Thanks for your time..
<3
 
I should of mentioned that im basing this off when i quit coke and anti-depressants.
It took my brain a good year or two to return back to how I was before.
I have alot of serious things i need to do in life, to fix things and try and just be normal.
im so tired of living this junky lifestyle, i want more out of life!!! This seriously cant be my way out!!!
I want to be the person I used to be. More than anything.
 
I would say the biggest damages resulting from drug misuse and addiction are:

Physical damage (take in example of ketamine abusers, Bladder reconstruction)
Loss of Family
Loss of Friends
Mental Damage (Low serotonin, dopamine or other neurochemical inbalance)


But if you seriously want to quit you can claw it all back, dont think that its just completely over you can do it. It does get better again.
Make sure that you get all the help and support you need.

Not all bluelighters do drugs, so maybe stick around and pop in 'Healthy Living'

Exercise will help you too. It does get better, it just takes a long time thats all. It is important that if you really want to quit, that you dont relapse as you will not likely recover then.
Stay Strong,
 
^
Everything he said.

I went through a phase of what most would consider "Long-term" drug abuse when I was 17, my drug of choice was Dextromethorphan (shameful, I know.) It only lasted for about seven months, but in parts of those seven months I was doing 700mg+ doses day after day, in and out of the hospital. On one occasion I had to have 17 injections of 10mg Lorazepam administered over a course of about 30 hours to keep my heart from blowing itself out.. I didn't even feel like a person when I came out of that, my eyesight had deteriorated, and I was completely dissociated, even when sober for days. It took about a year and a half of taking meticulous care of my body combined with Nootropics to start to piece myself together again (Choline seemed to fix the most.)

Anyway, here I am in my fourth year of college, with healthy relationships and my head still on my shoulders.

It gets better, but it doesn't happen all on it's own. You have to give it reason to, then make it happen. In better phrasing, you have to deserve it.

Best wishes my friend.
 
Should be moved to the dark side. You most likely would get a heap of replies there.

Im only 18 but my life has been a shit show the last year and a half which did some significant damage to my mental health and physical as well. Dude i feel you pain. Im tired of being looked down on by society. In my school im known as the biggest "druggie" and most people avoid me, whereas before my arrest on school grounds for possession, which every student there witnessed, I was one of the most known and liked in school. I made friends with the jocks, the nerds, the loners, and the stoners. I had made terrible decisions. The drugs brought mental disorders to my attention and life spiraled out of control quickly. From the use of MDMA i had low serotonin levels causing depression. Bipolar disorder was established as well as anxiety. I thought to myself now life will never be the same. After being admitted to an inpatient treatment facility for 3 weeks. I returned determined just as you are to stay clean.. I failed. I had a long day of thought and within a week of that day i had put down all the drugs i was using which was extremely hard as i had been into H and pot everyday as well as DXM as often as i could lift boxes of CCCs from the store.

The cravings were persistently nagging at me everyday. My every thought was when will i get high next? It has been roughly about 4-5 months and i have remained stable and functional just about as normal as i was before drugs. The mood disorders and mental problems i was facing slowly diminished over time and what was once taking such a toll on me as to the point of being on the verge of suicide was now something i would not have to face daily any more. I actually had forgotten about the mood swings anger and depression. I soon became more involved in other things such as hobbies and general success in life that after about a month i stopped and thought holy shit i haven't had a craving in a month or so nor one thought of using.

I guess with a very elongated response i answered your question somewhat. There is no telling how long it will take for your brain's chemicals to balance and your life to regain its normal ways before addiction but all i can say is if you have willpower and give it time i can ensure you that you WILL return to normal and you can most definitely kick addiction. Seeing how my drug addictions and problems only lasted a short year and a half and took roughly half a year to get over i can only guess that after 5-6 years of use your time period might be a year or two. But don't let that discourage you. Everyday it gets easier and easier.

Most people say "im done drugs forever" with that attitude it very well may work. But for me and many of my recovering friends waking up every day and saying im not going to use today proved most helpful attitude wise. With that thought in the back of your mind everyday as well as all the money spent and hell experienced it can help greatly in your everyday life. Don't you pick up the needle or bottle or whatever it may be one more time thinking this is the last time, or its only once in a while. Just a guestimate but about 75%+ will fall back into old patterns. While some people can handle occasional uses after kicking addiction some can't. In my case i can't handle "one more time" with certain drugs. I try and stay away from all. Even my father after being clean 10+ years of alcohol and cocaine drank once at a party after recovery and started up a minor alcohol problem again which was halted to a stop thanks to me as a youngster.

The mind is one of the most complex creations on this planet and to waste it on drugs and non productive activities is quite the upset for me at least.

Stay strong, carry on, and face problems head on.
After a night of drugs the morning after life's problems are still present.

sorry for the long post but if it benefits even one single person it was well worth my time.
 
thank you XTC , im atleast one of the people who uve helped with that post . u gave me a new coping strategy as well as a whole lot of hope .

im only 17 but can say i have been through alot after only the few years of addiction , im definetly one of those people who cant use 'one last time' , its basically straight back to full time addiction after that in my case .. or atleast weekend use which just gets worse and worse . after 4 months of being off ice , i have still been feeling the same way , completely and utterly depressed , having worse mental issues than i ever have (besides psychosis constantly during my use) and things have only just started to turn around , the other day i was diagnosed with an STI , and this was while i was already feeling suicidal . since then i havent really been smoking weed at all , and things have started to turn around , ive found motivation to do recreational activities (playing pool and going for walks) ive applied for some jobs (just today) and have been feeling a whole lot better , im getting on medication for my infection on monday , and seeing a psych on tuesday , in which ill be getting atleast antidepressants and maybe something for my anxiety/psychotic symptoms . im guessing the longer u used the longer its gonna take , but coming from someone who is just starting to turn things around , yes , you will come back , all in good time .
 
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Yes. But it's a lot of work. I'd recommend that you become engaged in Narcotics/Alcoholics Anonymous because it will give you the structure you need to get and stay clean. In the beginning, it's all about structure, even if you don't get the steps or the Higher Power, etc., so make ninety meetings in ninety days. It's like free rehab. Get a temporary sponsor that you can call BEFORE you use. NA is simply a group of people who share their experience to help others get and stay clean. People on Bluelight diss NA, but if you keep it simple in the beginning, you can get a great deal out of it.

If you can do inpatient rehab, I'd recommend it. Remember, it's all about structure. If you don't have a job, get one. And get a commitment at NA, like making coffee, which will make certain that you attend. You've got to chase your recovery like you did your addiction. And never get too hungry, angry, lonely, bored, or tired because that's when people tend to use.
 
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I was once told my a famous addiction specialist (famous for his brutal methods and client list Amy Winehouse) that if you've been abusing drugs for a long time, it takes a while for your brain to get back to normal. Now it sounds like you've got a lengthy drug history so it may take a while to get back on track. There'll probably be someone on here who can recommend natural remedies to aid your return to normality. Congrats on 4 days clean but it's early days. Excercise was a good shout and with healthy diet you'll be feelig better much quicker. I also recommend Bikram yoga, the heat is great for detoxing (I've used it to detox many times) good luck!
 
Missykins said:
...And never get too hungry, angry, lonely, bored, or tired because that's when people tend to use.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you have been through some sort of treatment that has taught you that tip to sobriety. Every inpatient and outpatient program i have been to has taught me this tip, as well as therapists, school counselors, and specialized drug counselors. There is truth to that tip.

Another tip i have found that helps greatly is to remember that people, places, and things can be the biggest triggers to want to use again or to even think about drugs. I followed this, made new friends, stopped going to the places i hung around (in my case a whole town), and occupied myself with different things. Those steps helped toward returning to my normal state.

Most people use with partners so one easy and big step is to eliminate the drug partners or associates. This is what helped me the most in recovery. Eventually i went from thinking about it constantly to about once a week. Because i had nobody to talk to about it the subject wasn't thought of as much.

WILLPOWER is a trait that is almost essential in this equation. Within time your brain will readjust itself and balance out as you regain various chemicals such as: serotonin.

Below is a picture of the brain activity normally and after ONE USE of MDMA
The activity after one use has gone from over levels of 1 million to about a level of less than 1 thousand. The damage is said to take 7 years to have healed.
http://thedea.org/pictures/friedmonkey.jpg

Imagine the effects of YEARS of ice or dope...
 
^ That picture posted above was really interesting to me so I decided to look further into it since the website doesn't seem to label what it is. I also am hesitant to believe some of the information the DEA puts out to the public.

Here is a picture explaining it better:
5htctx.jpg


I haven't read up about this enough to say whether this is a credible photo or not however.

This photo is also only a representation of the serotonin neurons. Serotonin is what is released when a user is on MDXX. So it would make sense that it would be depleted after use. Serotonin is also said to be replenished at a much faster rate than 7 years.

Also Ecstasy is a street name for a pill expected to contain MDMA, not the street name for MDMA. Ecstasy pills could contain anything so I think that picture should have been a little more professional in explaining the effects of MDMA.
 
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XTC_fiend said:
Sounds like you have been through some sort of treatment that has taught you that tip to sobriety. Every inpatient and outpatient program i have been to has taught me this tip, as well as therapists, school counselors, and specialized drug counselors. There is truth to that tip.

Another tip i have found that helps greatly is to remember that people, places, and things can be the biggest triggers to want to use again or to even think about drugs. I followed this, made new friends, stopped going to the places i hung around (in my case a whole town), and occupied myself with different things. Those steps helped toward returning to my normal state.

Most people use with partners so one easy and big step is to eliminate the drug partners or associates. This is what helped me the most in recovery. Eventually i went from thinking about it constantly to about once a week. Because i had nobody to talk to about it the subject wasn't thought of as much.
Click to expand...

Absolutely. And peer support is important, no matter where it comes from. You need to have someone to call when it's 2 am and you want to use, someone whose been there and understands the compulsion.
 
Missykins said:
Absolutely. And peer support is important, no matter where it comes from. You need to have someone to call when it's 2 am and you want to use, someone whose been there and understands the compulsion.
Click to expand...

As stated above you can get a sponsor and try NA or AA. The sponsor is somebody who is always there and will come pick you up in most cases if you are ready to use or in a difficult situation.
Sponsors are best friends for the recovering.
 
YES it is a rough road ahead, but yes we do recover, when i was in detox one of the H an I speakers came in an said listen you are here now, when you get out give it 60 days, if your life hasnt improved and you are feeling better, go back out hit the streets
at least you gave it a shot

it took me around 70 days , but yo its so nice to smile and enjoy life ,

dont get me wrong im not out of the woods yet,

but yes i would say things get better, and better,
 
deaf eye said:
YES it is a rough road ahead, but yes we do recover, when i was in detox one of the H an I speakers came in an said listen you are here now, when you get out give it 60 days, if your life hasnt improved and you are feeling better, go back out hit the streets
at least you gave it a shot

it took me around 70 days , but yo its so nice to smile and enjoy life ,

dont get me wrong im not out of the woods yet,

but yes i would say things get better, and better,
Click to expand...

IMHO, going back to the streets after sixty days of trying to get clean probably isn't the best advice.
 
i guess its still better then getting out of detox and running after a few days clean,

im guessing the speaker was just saying 'give it a shot, work a program, give it 60 days, see the miracle, live the miracle


i swear a few of those h and i speakers saved my life, i now have 110 days clean , my brain and body are still recovering after 20 years of hard living, life is a thousand times better
 
I'm sure you can come back; it's worked for thousands of ppl out there...or so I've read and heard. Unfortunately for me the "miracle" hasn't happened yet. I've been a heroin addict since 1987; started when I was 18 and now I'm 43 and just can't seem to get it through my fuckin hard head that the reason my life is pure shit right now and pretty much always; no job, no car, living with Mom, no significant other in my life (except for my cat) and hustling or doing odd jobs just to get my fix for the day is because I can't let the damn shit go!!! You have to really want it and bust your ass to get the willpower and keep it to put it down permanently. Not to make excuses for myself, but I have diagnosed severe depression and haven't gotten treated for it so I'm spinning my wheels unless I make it a priority to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist, head shrinker or whatever you wish to call it... Give it your all and I'm sure you'll "come back"!!! Take care!!
 
Darksidesam said:
It is important that if you really want to quit, that you dont relapse as you will not likely recover then.
Click to expand...

I don't agree with the above statement, but I may be misinterpreting it?

In my experience, many people relapse multiple times before finally getting clean for good and recovering. Obviously, try hard not to relapse BUT, if you do slip up - don't beat yourself up for it. Relapsing is part of the process for a lot of people, and if you have the mind-set that if you relapse "you will not likely recover," your relapse can then turn into a binge or worse. If you relapse, accept that it is ONE slip up, and get straight back on the recovery horse. Eat extra healthy for a few weeks after your relapse, exercise more etc. to make up for it. A relapse does not necessarily undo all the hard work you've done, as long as you don't get carried away.

Good luck with everything.
 
I can relate to your post sooo much XTC. Your post is like the story of my life. I was suicidal, and thinking back on my mental state back then I get scared. I could have hurt someone, I was dangerous.
 
I am proud to say that I have come a long way from too much drug abuse to healthy living. I used to think that there was no hope for me but you just never know until you have given your best and all your efforts to stay clean. I thought that my depleted serotonin levels would never come back after my nasty symptoms for a year from abusing esctasy/mdma but here I am still going and learning a lot about controlling my cravings. It would never be easy for any of us but if your mindset is about turning your life around anything is possible.

I have cut out all the toxic people out of my life. I try not to give excuses to myself that I am so stressed and I cant do this anymore, or this is too hard to handle, because if I have gone this long without abusing, it means it really was up to me from the start.
 
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