Heroin Does this feeling ever go away? Or should I consider NA/rehab?

[Mokies]

Okay sooo, I've been smoking H for about a year on and off with my longest time clean being about 3 weeks. Prior to 4 months ago I would usually get high for a few days then take a few days off but after I moved home from school I found myself getting it more frequently and managing my drugs to be sure I had them all the time, which I knew was a really bad sign. Although I wouldn't consider my problem major (errr, I guess any heroin problem is major but you understand what I mean), I've recently decided to kick dope for good so I can move on with my life but I cant seem to forget about it. As of tonight I'm over 2 weeks clean. I didn't really withdrawal when I quit but I've found the task of forgetting about it extremely hard. I cant look at a pen without thinking to myself 'okay now how can I get that apart as fast as possible so I can get high' and I cant go downtown without looking at other people and wondering if they use and can score me drugs. Oh, and foil is the absolute worst. I just want it all to go away but everything seems to be a reminder. I've deleted all phone numbers of people associated with dope but today I looked at my contacts and most were there again because i have a damn smart phone, so it syncs them from facebook. Its just sooo hard and I don't feel like its getting easier (And I know 2 weeks isn't long but I feel like I'm close to caving). I have a hobby, one that takes a lot of my time but I cant seem to find any motivation for it now that I'm sober. Could it be that in the back of my mind I'm just not ready to stop? Do you always have to hit rock bottom? I've done things I'm not proud of, seen things I wish I hadn't and lost people important to me either to drugs or because of them but I know things could potentially get much worse for me, I'm pretty far from rock bottom. Should I consider NA meetings? Or rehab if I relapse? I want to know how all the ex addicts on here stayed clean because that really seems to be the hard part.

 

[Albion]

It's all a case of mind over matter. All these associations to heroin and paraphernalia are all fresh in your psyche, so every time you see something even remotely related to this (like looking at pens), you're going to crave like fuck. However, the longer you stay clean, the less power these urges will have over you. You will always have these associations in your head but, provided you don't relapse, they'll transcend from cravings to distant memories. Just accept that life is now behind you now and you are moving on. The rest will follow.

 

[Swimmingdancer]

It's all a case of mind over matter. All these associations to heroin and paraphernalia are all fresh in your psyche, so every time you see something even remotely related to this (like looking at pens), you're going to crave like fuck. However, the longer you stay clean, the less power these urges will have over you. You will always have these associations in your head but, provided you don't relapse, they'll transcend from cravings to distant memories. Just accept that life is now behind you now and you are moving on. The rest will follow.

I wouldn't call it "mind over matter" exactly. Your brain has been conditioned to associate all these things with heroin, and you can't just will that to go away. But I do agree with the rest of what Albion said. What you can do is recognize that it is just the addicted part of your brain thinking this way and trying to rationalize going back to using, and choose to not act on those thoughts. The longer you go without using the easier it will get, as you don't reinforce the conditioning. It does definitely get easier with time. In the meantime you can try to avoid some of your triggers like don't walk downtown in areas where people use and sell drugs and set your phone not to sync with Facebook. Some triggers will be inevitable of course but tell yourself that they will pass and that a craving doesn't mean you have to use. Best of luck!

 

[muskolo]

I wouldn't call it "mind over matter" exactly. Your brain has been conditioned to associate all these things with heroin, and you can't just will that to go away. But I do agree with the rest of what Albion said. What you can do is recognize that it is just the addicted part of your brain thinking this way and trying to rationalize going back to using, and choose to not act on those thoughts. The longer you go without using the easier it will get, as you don't reinforce the conditioning. It does definitely get easier with time. In the meantime you can try to avoid some of your triggers like don't walk downtown in areas where people use and sell drugs and set your phone not to sync with Facebook. Some triggers will be inevitable of course but tell yourself that they will pass and that a craving doesn't mean you have to use. Best of luck!

Diddo to what the above poster said...

What your experiencing is association and will be something you have to deal with for a while. The good news is, once your brain starts to reset as the heroin gets out of your system, it will be less and less. You will still have that association with you in people, places, and things but you will be able to just recognize them as they are and move on. If you are able to, psychiatric treatment would be ideal. The sooner you are able to develop the psychological tools to combat this the better off you will be. It is a struggle but you will possess more self-realization than anyone else you know. I wish you all the luck in the world!

EDIT: If you do see a doctor, he will probably recommend suboxone or methadone. These are two medications you ought to research and decide if it is a good fit for your situation.

 

[snazzy_sn]

N.A. works for a lot of people.
You just have to be very careful not to take every word of the N.A. program as fact.
It never worked for me, but I would say check out a meeting and see what it's about.
Just be careful. They have a way of blowing things way out of proportion.

Triggers suck, but they go away with time.
Just spend every day grateful you didn't inject.

Give it time, be proactive and cautious but don't make it out as being worse than it is.

Good luck man.

 

[Pagey]

I don't know if the feeling ever goes away entirely but it does fade. I stayed clean off benzos for about 3 weeks (I would have much longer but had seizures so was put back on) and seriously, I was already starting to feel a difference - after those three weeks it was already easier than at first. I still thought about them a LOT, but it was a bit less than before, so I could tell that one day it would be gone for good, or almost at least. Just believe in the fact that it WILL get easier, and be proud of yourself with every second that passes that you've still managed to stay away
I went to a couple NA meetings. I think it's worth a shot. The people are really extremely nice and helpful. After my first meeting about ten people came to talk to me to give me their phone number and tell me to call them whenever I felt like using again/if I needed to talk to someone. You don't need to take all the stuff they preach 200% seriously, but I think just meeting those people and being in a recovery environment can be great.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

It takes time for your brain chemistry to get back to normal. Sometimes a couple of months, which is why rehabs and the like always stress the importance of your first 90 days. After so long using, depriving your brain of its natural chemicals, you basically have to get rewired to think and feel like a normal person again. You will see a difference after some time with the strength of the cravings and the associations. I mean... people 15 years clean can still get triggered but they've learned combative skills to fight those off when they arrive. Being newly clean, your brain is still in addict mode... so right now, it's going to take a lot of will power to not use when those cravings come on. But have faith that it will get better as time goes on and your brain heals. Try meetings if you want... they never really helped me personally because I would always meet the few people in the program who were still using or looking to use, and we'd eventually get each other to get high again... but there are some good people in the rooms who can help, just be careful and remember the stats for aa/na are not very good in the favor of staying clean.

Good luck mate.

 

[Mokies]

Thank you all very much
Anyone have any insight on rehab?

 

[served00]

Rehab will work if you want it to work. I've been to 4 rehabs and I truly beleive that around 90% of people in rehab arent there bc they truly WANT to quit, but more because of their loved ones and knowing that they NEED to quit but arent truly ready

 

[J.Tweezy]

It does get better but it takes time. I've been clean off dope and everything for over 9 months now. The first 90 days were definitely the hardest. Since I didnt have the willpower to "just say no", I checked my self into the salvation army. They provide a free rehab to anyone. You might want to check them out. Its not easy but if you really want it you can do it.

 

[80mg]

Honestly. The feeling..for me...hasnt ever gone away. There's maybe 3 times in my using life I wish I wasnt high. I'd suggest a SMALL suboxone taper. How much are you smoking and of what tar or powder?

 

[SmackHound]

It seems to me the psychological wd triggers can be pretty powerful. I saw in a documentary that they measured the release of pleasure-hormones, and anticipation chemicals of a junkie who was looking at images associated with dope and concluded that it was the same sensation as looking at food when you are hungry. Honestly, power through that shit. You cant do it passively and you can't think negatives like odamn i wish i could get high. Even if it NEVER goes away, dont let that shit win. You gotta just keep going in spite of it.

 

[Tommyboy]

It seems to me the psychological wd triggers can be pretty powerful. I saw in a documentary that they measured the release of pleasure-hormones, and anticipation chemicals of a junkie who was looking at images associated with dope and concluded that it was the same sensation as looking at food when you are hungry. Honestly, power through that shit. You cant do it passively and you can't think negatives like odamn i wish i could get high. Even if it NEVER goes away, dont let that shit win. You gotta just keep going in spite of it.

I think I know the documentary that you are talking about, and I have some links here. It wasn't just opiate users, and most of the brain imaging is from other users. Here are the several segments from the HBO Addiction documentary:

The Science of Relapse: This seems to be the one you are describing. It shows the brain activity of a drug addict (crack addict in this case) when looking at triggering images, and compares it to the activity after taking medication to help with the cravings. In this case the medication was baclofen, and I am surprised it is not talked about more for treating cocaine addiction considering the brain scan results seen in the video. It has been approved to treat alcoholism though, but its hard to find any info on its treatment for cocaine addiction other than what's in the video.

Brain Imaging: shows brain imaging of a methamphetamine users brain when he is not high. The findings were that the brain of the addict does not produce normal amounts of dopamine compared to the brain of non-addicted people. It also showed more ageing due to methamphetamines neurotoxicity.

Opiate Addiction; A New Medication: The video series is from 2007, so Suboxone is the new medication referred to in the title. It discusses the effects of opiates and how Suboxone works for replacement therapy.

Overall it is a very good film, and I recommend that you check out the clips I have posted above, and there are other segments of the film on the menu to the left of the videos. I liked that the film showed that addicts are everyday people, and that there is scientific reasoning behind addiction, so stopping is not as simple as people that aren't addicts make it out to be.

 

[Swain]

I wouldn't call it "mind over matter" exactly. Your brain has been conditioned to associate all these things with heroin, and you can't just will that to go away. But I do agree with the rest of what Albion said. What you can do is recognize that it is just the addicted part of your brain thinking this way and trying to rationalize going back to using, and choose to not act on those thoughts. The longer you go without using the easier it will get, as you don't reinforce the conditioning. It does definitely get easier with time. In the meantime you can try to avoid some of your triggers like don't walk downtown in areas where people use and sell drugs and set your phone not to sync with Facebook. Some triggers will be inevitable of course but tell yourself that they will pass and that a craving doesn't mean you have to use. Best of luck!

I agree

 

[BiggDirty01]

Obsessive thinking is a part of the opiate detox. You need to develop lifestyle changes outside of using opiates that include some type of support meetings, be it NA/AA/CA or whatever. Also, you need to understand that it takes a while for the brain to resume normal production of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin that regulate your emotions and feelings. If the task of dealing with these issues becomes too much, you may need to see a doctor to get prescribed anti depressants or anti anxiety medication or what not.

PM me if you have further questions.