I am scared to get off heroin

burn out

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2006
Messages
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Location
Michigan
Hi everyone. Well, my life of drug use has once again brought me to the dark side forum. The last time I was here, it was a major benzodiazepine addiction I was dealing with. Now it is heroin addiction. I have been using heroin for only about a year and a half and only I.V. for maybe the last 7 or 8 months, however I have gotten off it twice so far and both times I felt HORRIBLE. I stayed clean 9 days the first time, and still felt awful even though I didn't even have a big habit back then. Now I have a huge habit (over $100 a day) and I am just terrified of what it is going to be like with no opiates in my body. The last time i got clean, I couldn't make it more than a couple days without relapsing.
 
Wow, burn out, I am so sorry to say your use somewhat reminds me of my own. From the duration, to the ROA, to the money spent.

I'd suggest going right into an in patient if you can. Even if you feel you may not need it (I question if I really do, yet am going tomorrow), I personally feel there's no reason not to bring all the forces you can to bear in fighting this thing. If not, intensive outpatient, w/ possible suboxone maintenance, is the next option. Word to the wise, find a program w/o court order people; they fucked it up for me by undermining the lessons, coming in high, etc.

It's natural we will feel shitty in different ways for weeks, even months, but over time the heroin-related problems should subside. Emotionally, trauma can persist, and therapy can probably offer help w/ that, but the physical/PAWS do ultimately leave. Good luck to you, and I don't mean to sound extreme, but I'd not take chances - find an inpatient detox/rehab.
 
Are you just trying to come off the dope directly? Have you ever tried bupe?

You might have better luck switching onto bupe for a couple weeks and tapering off that rather than just trying to CT off of the dope. Unless you are completely out of money you will most end up back at the dope spot after a few days clean and have to start all over again (if you are anything like me). Is there any chance you can leave town and visit a friend out of state for a little while? It is a lot easier to get along without using when you aren't able to relapse even if you wanted to.

If you don't want to use bupe for whatever reason you should at least go get some loperamide and clonidine. They help a little bit, enough to take the edge off at least. I've had luck with ultram in the past as well, it won't take you completely out of sickness but it will take the edge off. Exercise is good like someone previously mentioned, but in my experience any kind of real excercise is pretty much out of the question until you are at least a week or 2 clean off of a serious habit.

Are you addicted to the needle as well or just the dope?

Good luck.
 
I know they say to taper, but i was never able to. SUBOXONE WILL SAVE YOU. Google Suboxone Doctor <YOUR CITY/STATE>. THey need to be a special doctor who can write special suboxone perscriptions. Some doctors will make you drug test, come in weekly etc, and some will just write you a HUGE script and you never have to see them again. (I got 160 8mg strips first time I went in, with 4 refills.....) you wait 72 hours, or even longer, until it is unbearable, and then take an 8mg strip, and wait an hour or so and you will feel so much better, and if it still isnt enough take another 4mg (cut it in half), and then repeat that dose same time every day, and cut down 2mg a week and you will be fine. I am now down to 2mg from 8mg and I feel fine, and I will wait a few days to even take it and I barely feel withdrawls, if I never did this I would be thinking of sawing my head off for 4-7 days and it just isnt worth going through that mental anguish when the tools for detox are there for you. The only thing is you will not enjoy suboxone "highs" except the first time you take it because you will be so low, that feeling normal will be a high to you, but you will feel 100% normal with the right dose, but it is just as physically addictive as any opiate and you will HAVE to taper with it or you will suffer the same withdrawls as heroin, (maybe longer since it has a 3-day half-life). good luck, any more questions post here
 
One word: "exercise"

I second this. Us addicts need replacement addictions. From a HR perspective, I honestly think that healthy substitute addictions are much better than trying to think yourself into a life where you don't crave things, believe in moderation, etc. Take care of your body and it will take care of your mind. When you were pumping it full of drugs, it told you that it wanted drugs. I know that it sounds insane, but when you pump it full of healthy foods and exhaust it on a regular basis through exercise, you will get cravings for those things as well. And you will start to associate drugs with physical deterioration, which (at least for me) is an extremely effective deterrent that isn't as annoying as psychiatrists or people in circles telling you that you "just cannot use!"

burn_out, I know how hard it is to believe people from the other side, but the emotions and interests come back after a few weeks of getting clean. This is just something you're going to have to put faith into find out. I know that you're probably thinking that your case is different and that it's gone forever, but it's not. You WILL feel better after 30 days without heroin. I'm not telling you that I saw a burning bush; I'm telling you that yours will be there within 30 days.

I also echo about Suboxone. Not really for maintenance, but for getting you through acute heroin WD. 5-7 days of just enough so that you can function. I know that some people see withdrawal as some type of scare tactic or learning experience, but I honestly think that is a little silly. With your habit, cold turkey is going to suck, so I'd really try and get help in the form of bupe.
 
I've always found exercise to be an effective stress outlet as well. It gives me something to do, kills my cravings for anything really, relieves stress, and in general I feel so much better after I do because I know instead I'm doing something healthy for my body.
 
Did you make it past the physical symptoms of the kick after 9 days? For me, once I started to get sleep (around the 7th night) It was a night and day difference. All my orifices dried up, and I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It took a solid couple months to get my sleeping schedule right (probably the most noticeable PAWS symptom I had). But after that first night of 3.5 hours rest, I knew it could be done. It doesn't help matters to white knuckle it on your own. The first time I tried to do it on my own, I was kicking off methadone, and I found myself miserable after the acute symptoms. I thought alot of it was PAWS, but the reality was that yes, some of it definitely was physiological, but most of it was discomfort induced by sitting with myself and all of the garbage of my addiction.
 
and yes. EXERCISE!! I found that light yoga and tai chi worked wonders for me. I still do yoga almost everyday. (ALMOST.. haha.) great stretching the muscles out and getting rid of all that pent up stress and emotion stored in my body. I also love the element of meditation implemented into the exercise. Definitely can't reiterate enough how important exercise is.
 
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