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Anyone else have a simular story to this?

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chrisalt

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 28, 2012
Messages
369
So I wanna go back to drugs. I quit "Hard" drugs a few years ago and just kept using pot and alcohol. I never quit because they were hurting me in a different then normal just wanted to at the time. In December 2011 i quit pot started to screw with me by giving panic attacks which made me think i needed to go to the ER. Never went tho.

Anyways my problem is now everything seems to be giving effects i never had before. .05mg of ativan lowers my heart to what seems like 55 beats per min, I smoke a joint after 6 months without it and it feels like i did 10 hits of acid. Coffee throws me into a psychosis. i Take 15mg of oxy or 4mg of hydromorphone and cant breath right. I hate sober living but keep turning down drugs because im not suicidal and want to live so i can do drugs lol. Anyone else have EVERY drug start to turn on them? Even after years off and were fine on them before??? i need the drugs. life is boring and pointless with out them.

Btw i do have GAD, some pain issues. So maybe these effects are because im under sever stress? basically im just looking for anyones ideas on why this maybe happening. im about to say fuck it and just grab some mdma or coke and see whats happens.
 
The only thing I can relate to is the pot causing massive panic attacks. Other than that, I have never heard of what you speak off. Definitely bizarre reactions your getting.

Although all the drugs you listed and the effects are the same as if you were overdosing on said drug. Since you are taking so little though, to have overdose symptoms is very odd.
 
Also I know how you feel about life being boring without drugs and alcohol. Trust me though, learn to live without them. You will be much happier in the long run and feel much more stable.

Remember back before you didnt do any drugs and you could wake up and just live your day? Try to remember how that felt. Let me tell you it is a awesome feeling to get that back and realize that you CAN go through the day without drugs / alcohol.
 
I have noticed that many drugs seem to affect me differently than they used to. For example, back when I was using heroin I went through a period of drinking like 8 cups of coffee a day but now I can't drink even half a cup without feeling awful and jittery. I used to feel good when I took hydrocodone and now it just makes me feel a bit weird and not in a good way. I used to enjoy a night of drinking and now one drink makes me feel awful. Why not take this as a sign that it's time to learn how to enjoy life without using drugs?
 
I can relate with you on the pot thing, i used to smoke very heavily. Then i quit for a year and started again. Felt like it was giving me a heart attack my heart was beating so fast. Very weird. and drinking coffee jus makes me feel terrible.
 
I think it's just very bad anxiety, but I'm surprised that ativan gave concern.

I went though a period after getting panic attacks that I would bug out on weed, think I was overdosing on moderate doses of opiates, and get vey anxious from coffee. For weed I just started to smoke low grade weed, and only took 1 hit the first few highs until I got used to it, and with the opiates I also got used to them once I took the same dose that I obviously was fine on the time before. Caffeine will always be a problem, so I suggest you just cut that out unless you have some benzos to take prior to that, but that kinda defeats the purpose of taking the caffeine.
 
Thanks for the input guys. I started to think that it was just really bad anxiety too. Im just gonna do some tests and see what happens.
 
Excessive anxiety and lowered tolerance could explain some of the effects. I'm curious about these ones:
chrisalt said:
05mg of ativan lowers my heart to what seems like 55 beats per min
Click to expand...
What did you say "what seems like 55 beats per minute"? Did you actually measure your heart rate? Do you know what your usual heart rate is?
i Take 15mg of oxy or 4mg of hydromorphone and cant breath right.
Click to expand...
What do you mean about not being able to breath right? Is your breathing slow and shallow? Or does it speed up and/or become erratic?
 
i had some pretty bad paradoxical reactions from benzos (mainly bromazepam, but i think it happened on a different benzo too, can't recall which). really, 30-45 minutes after ingestion i felt an absolutely overwhelming sadness and despair come over me, and i started bawling like a baby for hours, absolutely not comprehending what had just happened. it got a bit better with a few beers and 25mg promethazine, but still, that was absolutely fucked.
also, many blue moons ago i scored some coke, which was of decent quality, and i had myself a good time with it, later my then-girlfriend came over as i was planning a nice little coke-fueled fuck session, but after giving her a medium sized line she said she felt really tired, like she'd taken some diazepam or something and promptly fell asleep. that, too, was weird as fuck.

edit: as for the GAD, try some pregabalin (lyrica), it did wonders for mine. you can get high on it too, although i find it to be rather boring on its own, but it really is the perfect companion drug, goes great with just about everything i tried it with.
 
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Flabu said:
The only thing I can relate to is the pot causing massive panic attacks. Other than that, I have never heard of what you speak off. Definitely bizarre reactions your getting.

Although all the drugs you listed and the effects are the same as if you were overdosing on said drug. Since you are taking so little though, to have overdose symptoms is very odd.
Click to expand...

I used to love pot. Now it makes me pessimistic and gives me panic attacks. Ever since my dxm binge 2 years ago =/
 
Chrisalt-

I hope this finds you well, and not feverishly searching for a way to get high ;) I would have quoted you but I'm having issues with that on this site... obviously something is wrong with my mobile device.
Anyway, I know this probably won't help and it's not the answer your'e looking for, BUT... To me, it seems like for whatever reason You have been given a gift that many of us here (myself, for sure!) probably wish for. You do not have to be a drug addict. Please realize that I am in no way labeling you as one in the past or present. I guess my point is, as frustrating as this must be for you,, you have a choice right now. Whatever is going on with you is weird for sure, but at some point you will definitely find something that will give you the feeling you're looking for, and then you may not have the luxury of the decision you do now.
I very much hope that I don't sound flaky, or seem preachy. I just wanted to point out the positives that could come out of this (what MUST be at this point maddening) situation.
Thanks for reading this, and good luck either way!! :)
 
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Swimmingdancer said:
Excessive anxiety and lowered tolerance could explain some of the effects. I'm curious about these ones:

What did you say "what seems like 55 beats per minute"? Did you actually measure your heart rate? Do you know what your usual heart rate is?

What do you mean about not being able to breath right? Is your breathing slow and shallow? Or does it speed up and/or become erratic?
Click to expand...

yeah it concerned me because it was 55-58. I measured.
 
Sounds like you just have a bad case of general anxiety and panic attacks. You will either have to learn to cope with it, or just quit doing drugs if they aren't enjoyable anymore due to anxiety. I have had similar issues, but not with all drugs I take, mainly just weed, stimulants and psychedelics.
 
Moving this one to drug culture, I feel this is better suited over there.
 
I'm not sure that this is too unusual. I've definitely experienced this with pot and adderall.

I can't smoke pot anymore without experiencing all of the paranoia and anxiety; and I can't take adderall anymore and have the same awesome experience with the boost in confidence and productivity and all that. I just feel crumby now whenever I take some adderall. I took some not long ago, and I'm already regretting it. =\
 
These replies are quite interesting to me. I thought i was the only one this stuff was happening to. Not that I want anyone to suffer at all but its good to hear others stories. Im really starting to think its just my off the charts anxiety caused from me just being me and all the drugs i started pumping into me on a daily basis when i was 13.

Its funny I was smoking some really powerful weed(or what seemed like powerul weed anyway) my buddy got from his new connection yesturday and it went off without a hitch. No panic just the good old times. i had taken 6-8 months off or so, i just need to learn moderation and not smoke 5 grams a day. My point is though the brain is such a powerful thing and you just gotta treat it right and not abuse stuff and you can use till you die lol .Finally at 24 im starting to grasp this concept.

Thanks again for all the input guys i appreciate it. This is truly an amazing site.
 
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If you have GAD, it seems that this is not too abnormal. Like others have mentioned, I also get insanely paranoid on THC. It's really the only substance that I've ever been able to put down and never have second thoughts about picking it back up. I also know that after abstaining from drugs for while, they obviously hit you harder, and you have a different perspective on what it is you're actually putting into your body, which could either really cause overdose symptoms, or psyche you into thinking you're experiencing them. Either way, if you can't enjoy drugs anymore, perhaps you should try and get used to just not using them if you feel more stable sober, there is nothing wrong with that.
 
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