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Thinking about tripping again after having a drug-induced psychosis 2 years ago

psycosynthesis

psycosynthesis

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Hey there.


Two years back I had a very bad psychotic episode at the end of a 3 day psytrance festival. The first few days I mainly did meth, G and alcohol and smoked some weed. On the Sunday morning I did some MDMA, some 2ce, some 2cd, some ketamine, took a pill containing mdma with a small amount of meth and then smoked some butane extracted THC. I then took a hit of liquid LSD.

I had one of the best trips of my life, a very humbling experience. I learned a lot, had many epiphanies. I didn't even dance, I moved around a bit in the crowd at first, trying to find the spot where the music sounds the best. Then I just stood still and chanelled my energy into the trip. I had a root-chakra opening experience. (I closed my eyes and saw a small red circle, which grew smaller as I sort of willed myself towards it, it then grew and grew and fully blossomed and opened. Red is the colour associated with the root or base chakra.)

It was probably my first truly shamanic experience. There were other people in similar states to mine who I was communicating with telepathically (Some of you might think this is crazy, others will know what I'm talking about).

When the sun rose things got hectic. My mind was locked in a struggle between positivity and negativity.
As the day went on it got worse, I got paranoid, anxious, stuck in a battle with myself. My ego just couldn't take it and my mind snapped. I was psychotic for three weeks. I then saw a friend of mine and explained my situation and he gave me a dose of Changa (prepared with loving intent), and after the trip (in which I got a bit of a tentacle-wiggling telling off from a multi-pronged entitity) my psychosis was gone.

A few months later I developed a benzo habit, which turned into a heroin habit when I couldn't find a prescribing doctor anymore. That habit lasted about a year or so, with bupe on top. I then went to a rehab, got clean for about 60 days then took a bunch of xanax and alcohol and nearly drowned in a bath. I then went to a long term rehab, got kicked out after 3 months and went on a 2 week heroin binge.

Currently I am just taking the occasional benzo, doing a few codeine extractions here and there and having a glass of wine every now and again. I feel stable in my head. I get paranoid sometimes, but only rarely.

So, to the point, I am thinking about tripping again in the near future. Possibly something light to start with, such as a moderate dose 2-cb or 4-aco-dmt. I would have benzos and anti-psychotics on hand in case things got hectic. Benzos to take the edge off, and if that didn't work then anti-psycs to abort the trip.

Has anyone had similar experiences and tripped again and experienced benefits? Can anyone give me some advice please?

Love and light,
Psycosynth.
 
Sounds like you have a serious drug problem and either little insight or concern about the fact that your drug use is problematic. Smartest thing you could do is quit all drugs entirely.

I'm a huge proponent of true psychedelics but have to ask: What "benefits" do you think you will obtain by dosing?
 
The benefits I would be after would be psychic healing, personal insight and introspection and just because I love a true, profound psychedelic experience.
 
It really doesn't sound like a good idea. From the history you describe, it sounds like you have a very hard time using drugs responsibly, and have in the past experienced psychosis after a reckless drug binge including psychedelics. It doesn't sound like drugs treat you well...
 
psycosynthesis said:
The benefits I would be after would be psychic healing, personal insight and introspection and just because I love a true, profound psychedelic experience.
Click to expand...

Psychedelics are not a panacea for all your difficulties, psychological or otherwise, and personal insight is only valuable if you make use of it. I agree with the other posters that you appear to have serious addiction and control issues when it comes to drugs, issues that you don't seem to understand fully. The lesson you should have extracted from your psychotic episode is not that your ego couldn't handle your "shamanic" experience but that you fucked up your brain by overloading it with a ton of drugs and this caused you some serious psychological trauma.

At the very least, I think you should go completely clean for a few months and use this time to reevaluate your interest in taking more psychedelics. This means no opiates, no benzos, no weed, no alcohol, etc. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I doubt that more drugs will help you right now.
 
"your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, i see through you" Bill Hicks

sincerely :) where are you located btw east or west coast?
 
I would for sure just not take any drugs for a significant amount of time, then enter back into the scene and still not take them to know you can be you without any substance. Then after that is achieved in ones own mind, I would start out with a small dose of mushrooms then increase the dose each trip until you see your past and feel how others felt in situations where you had done wrong to them (truly being in someones shoes), this has opened up my heart and soul. Mushrooms are not the only answer, meditation, drumming, chanting, dancing can be done or other entheogens to achieve the states you desire. But please stay away from man made drugs like meth :) gl
PLUR
 
Personally, I think you could do with a strong psychedelic experience.
At the most fundamental level, I think we all know that we're doing drugs here, and that it's just a shortcut or an insight, but that we can make it permanent and completely real through hard work. I never trip anymore without having those moments where I know I need to quit myself at least. Lol, ”psychedelics, my antidrug.”
Also, it seems like you have problems with dependency more than with just recreational or personal use..

Maybe you should do an ibogaine session, if you really insist on psychedelia.
 
Yeah ibogaine, and then look at the universe as a giant drug. not a crack rock exploding in mid air, but a dazzling field of evolving dimensions. You need to look at your inner child as a fragile baby, but paradoxically exert that baby as a strong man out in to the world. You are a biological creature, and living too fast like that means that you do need to get to the root of what you need to see.

The possibility of ibogaine inducing psychosis is very real as the bwiti shamans actually claim to talk to dead spirits while on iboga. Pharmacologically it does decrease DA by 50%, but increases DA 2 weeks later. Usually psychosis induced by psychedelic drugs/marijuana builds up over months. Plus with those other alkaloids lasting for months in the body there is a possibility of some psychotic type dysregulation.

There is a youtube video of a schizophrenic being cured by ibogaine even though it is not recommended by providers.

It is possibly your best bet as a break from these behaviors nevertheless. You should do it at a time where you are mentally strong, clean and have a good memory to recollect on the experience. I dont think 2cb or any of that stuff is going to help it just looks like you want to party again LOL.

no phenethylamines... it upregulates DA... the 2cs cause psychosis much more frequently than natural tryptamines like lsa. nothing speedy you know...
 
Thanks for all the advice guys.

I know I have drug dependency issues, but still have some level of denial around it. (Don't Even Now I Am Lying) :P

I am going to attempt to cut back severely on the benzo and alcohol use (I don't touch weed at all anymore), and if I can't then I'll throw in the towel for a few months and see how my head space is.

I have considered Iboga, but I am afraid. I know I have nothing to fear but fear itself though :). Perhaps DMT instead?

Will keep you updated on how I'm going with this quandry.

Cheers.
 
+1 for ibogaine

Considering you've used changa before, I don't think DMT might be beneficial for you. You need to not expect so much of the chemical itself, but of the reaction that the chemical will produce in your mind and body.

Don't want to be the religion dude, but shambhala has helped me through some tough periods in my life before. Looking into other avenues of introspection that aren't drug related could be important in a situation such as yours.

But im a demondrugfiend myself so blehhhhhhh8(
 
So I ended up having a manic episode after getting clean which was psychedelic enough and healing in its own right. 9 months clean now. Abstinence it is for me.
 
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