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Can someone be out of your league?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lex3001p
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lex3001p

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SLR

Lets take an extreme example. An obese guy, with no hygiene, or job, lives at home with his mom comes across a beautiful woman with a high paying job and a very healthy social presence full of friends and acquaintances, including lots of men all over her. I would say she is "out of his league." I'm not as bad as the guy I described but often I think, there are certain amazing women who I will never be able to date because I'm not GOOD ENOUGH. Lets face it, some guys have more to offer than others. Someone like Scarlett Johanssen is never going to date an average Joe off the street.

So should I accept that some women I will never be able to have even if I tried?
 
If anything, it should just inspire you to better yourself. Improve your diet, hit the gym, take up a hobby, get on yer grind. These are things that you can control; you can't force a woman to want you. Even if you're on top of the world, not every woman will be attracted to you. It's impossible. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll start to feel better about yourself. So focus on the factors that are in your realm of influence and don't concentrate so much on things that are out of your hands.
 
it's as much of a personal mantra or outlook as it is a literal statement. it speaks to how we feel about ourselves and that goes to the very heart of who we are and how we relate to others.

you can have anybody. but not just anybody will do...

:)

alasdair
 
Short answer... No.

Leagues are for shallow, superficial people who go out of their way to judge people. You never know what some gorgeous person finds interesting or attractive.
 
The only way that somebody can be out of anyone else's league? Is if the two people don't have compatable sexual orientations...
 
I disagree. People are just people, whether they are rich or poor or famous or smell funny or are fat or have 50 cats. You can almost always find common ground with someone and then build on that.

That said, you probably aren't going to get laid a lot or have a great chance of finding love if you don't take care of yourself. Whether excessive substance use and abuse, weight, hygeine, lack of ambition, etc... There is a biological imperative to seek mates who are healthy, have good genes, etc (at an entirely subconcious level) and those issues suggest that you are ill to our monkey brains. If you can take care of yourself and lead a productive and healthy life, you will find someone eventually, as long as you keep trying.
 
I'm sure you have heard the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Someone is only out of your league if you think and act like they are. I think that this clip holds true to this.
 
I think it's more of a matter of not being compatable rather than someone being "out of your league". You described two people that are the complete opposite. What would those two really have in common? What if a rich, socially connected person who also happens to be overweight met a girl who is also rich, connected, but fitness & health is on the top of her list of priorites? They would be in the same league so to speak...but they view life differently and probally wouldn't end up together either way.
 
materialistically speaking, perhaps a person could be out of a person's league...

however, DON'T THINK LIKE THAT. EVER. that is my personal mantra. we've all seen the gorgeous, nice, ambitious, total Dime of a woman go for some lucky, sad, and sorry SOB

for example, at times I think about my girlfriend and I'm like "damn, she is very fine!" sometimes I entertain the thoughts that perhaps she is artificially out of my league, in terms of complete superficial beauty... but the only emotions that grow from such trains of thought are bad emotions

if anything, having such a beautiful + successful + rich + what-fucking-have-you person as your S/O, should motivate one to only up the ante of their personal beauty, lucrativeness, materialistic wealth, et al!!
 
Yes, if you are unsuccessful (don't work, don't go to school, don't have ambitions) and have poor hygiene (don't shower, don't wash your clothes, don't make an effort to look good) then of course someone who is successful and has good hygiene and all that is going to be "out of your league". I personally would not date someone who was unsuccessful and going no where in life. I wouldn't date someone who never made any effort with his appearance, who didn't bother showering, etc.

That being said, it does not too difficult to have goals, good hygiene, etc.
 
i dont think theres such a thing as "out of one's league" when it comes to physical appearance or financial success, but I do believe you can be out of someone's league if you have better character than them (like morals and values).

in other words, i think it's wrong to say she's out of his league if he's fat and ugly and if she's pretty and thin. i think that's bullshit and she should be able to appreciate him if he is a good person inside with good character - she's shallow if she can't be into a man like that. (keep in mind that I hold the unpopular view that physical attraction is fundamentally changeable and based on our moral values - ie., you can find any person attractive physically if you have the right morals and can see beauty in non-conventionally, socially acceptable places.)

i also think it's shallow and wrong to say she's out of his league if she's rich and he's not.

that said, the situation in which i DO think you can say she's out of his league, is if she's substantially more hardworking (vs. him being lazy), if she's ethical and he's not, or if she's kind and generous and he's a sour hateful type. in other words - character and values.
 
I have recently re-thought my position on this. The problem with the whole idea of "out of my league" is a bit of an over-simplification because it assumes that everyone has the same needs and/or wants the same thing.

If you have nothing to offer, then everyone is out of your league. Unless they are desperate. And some people just don't need what you have to offer. Let's look at your example:
lex3001p said:
An obese guy, with no hygiene, or job, lives at home with his mom comes across a beautiful woman with a high paying job and a very healthy social presence full of friends and acquaintances, including lots of men all over her. I would say she is "out of his league."
Click to expand...

Sure, most of the time you would prolly be right. If she's a materialist shallow party girl, the dude has no chance. If she's looking for a potential father to raise her kids, he's prolly SOL.
But let's throw some other variables in here. What if the obese guy is a musical piano prodigy and the chick is an aspiring singer. Throw that in the mix and the idea of them hooking up doesn't seem quite so far fetched. Maybe the chick is a recovering alcoholic and the fat dude is straight-edge because his dad was a drunk. That might give him an edge over all the other dudes who are all over her. Basically, the fat dude would need to have something else going for him.

If someone has needs that you can fulfill better than most, if you can make someone's life tangibly better, they are in your league. Yes, there are always going to be people who are unobtainable to you. I am unobtainable to some people. You are unobtainable to some people. But it's misleading to think of them as "out of your league". There are hot chicks who get their ego boost out of fucking hot dudes. I will never date these women. But at the same time, there are chicks who are just as hot who like smart and funny dudes. There are not as many of them but they exist and I consider them "in my league".
 
Nicley said. Where have you been boiyo?

:)

This thread has merit, as do most people. I agree with Ali: uusing words like league and compairing this to a game with a definite win or lose outcome speaks more of a mindset and world view than the OP might realize, or care to admit fully.

People get together for a lot of reasons, but to run some bases casually like Babe Ruth after a big shot is probably not one of them.
 
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