Relationships 101?

[aislinnna]

You sound quite young to me, I had a similar attitude to you when I was 14-15. Then I got out and saw the world, and got over my stereotyping of other people.

May I ask in what direction are you hoping your life is headed in, considering it seems like you won't go outside your comfort zone?

 

[Ein-2765]

You sound quite young to me, I had a similar attitude to you when I was 14-15. Then I got out and saw the world, and got over my stereotyping of other people.

May I ask in what direction are you hoping your life is headed in, considering it seems like you won't go outside your comfort zone?

In what way do you mean? You mean what are my life goals?

Mainly, I want to help people. I think the biggest problem we have today (and have always had) is ignorance. If people were better informed of the facts, they wouldn't make such stupid decisions. So, what I really want to do is just spread the word of reason. So basically right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to do that. I started to write a philosophical book, but it just came off as preachy and pathetic. Plus, a lot of my ideas have already been stated by people much smarter and with more experience than me (like Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris, for instance).

While I enjoy fiction, it just seems so superfluous when we have such pressing and immediate concerns.

 

[aislinnna]

I'm just kinda curious as to what you think people are ignorant on, and what makes a stupid decision, and what facts they need to know. Not trying to be mean or anything, but it seems like you are making these calls based on limited life experience. It's pretty easy to call other people's decisions stupid, especially from the view of a spectator.

Sorry, the way people think really fascinates me. Probably why I'm studying psychology. The more I learn, the more ignorant I realise that I am.

 

[Ein-2765]

I'd be more than happy to discuss it with you, but it'll have to wait until another time. It's 3:30am where I am right now.

Suffice it to say, I'm extremely unhappy with religion (and "faith" in general), consumerism, society's fascination with fame and wealth, etc.

I just hate bullshit.

 

[i against i]

not liking stupid descisions and having hitch as an idol? wtf? you are aware he smoked himself to death and was an alcoholic right? those aren't really considered smart descisions.

 

[p0ly]

HAHA i was like this when i was 18-19 and i grew out of it. extremely unhappy with things is no way to live believe me and even though i still find it stupid i don't let it bother me at all.

when i just went out and was happy and spoke to everyone i had NO problems getting girls... in fact they came and got me which was even better.

 

[Pale Rider]

I was always told 'love is like a shadow if you chase it it'll always run from you', you will find a relationship and maybe love just don't rush the process, take care and stay safe.

 

[Lysis]

I appreciate all of the help (even though a few of you were rather glib and immature).

Coming here for advice was basically a last-ditch effort, and even though I hoped that there would be some sage advice that would instantly solve all of my problems, I knew that probably wouldn't be the case.

Unfortunately, most of what was said here were things I either already considered, or are just too vague and nonspecific to act upon.

Oh dear. Ein, there are a few things you need to consider, and I used to write from home too. I realize the rougher crowd here do not meet your high standards, but I think you should listen to what they are saying, even if you don't agree with their approach. You want to meet a person? The rougher crowd usually has the people skills, and so they have something you lack. I'm shy too by nature and keep to myself, especially when I am unhappy, but you (I) have to hand it to these people: they are funny and fun to chat with. Get out of your head, and you can see that. Even Alaska must have something out there.

First, you work from home. You need to get out. Obvious to you? Well, chyaaa, but are you doing it? It's not only incredibly unhealthy physically, but mentally as well. You need to get out of your own head and go talk to people. Join something that makes you interact with people. Even school if you have to. The longest time I went without a date was working from home, and I had the advantage of being female and being approached.

If you don't come down and get out of your head, you will remain where you are at, and being a hermit with writing skills is not really all that appealing. I probably know what you do for writing, and it's neither glamorous or rewarding. It's basically regurgitating cheap content. I don't mean to drag you down, but I think you should take a step back and realize that you've got to come down from the high-horse if you want to connect with someone of value.

 

[rangrz]

Mainly, I want to help people. I think the biggest problem we have today (and have always had) is ignorance.

Not pursuing an education is a hell of a great way to increase ignorance.

If people were better informed of the facts, they wouldn't make such stupid decisions.

Define stupid decisions? Also, sometimes it happens to be that the only way to get more facts is by experiment. Which, in the process, can lead to bad results. Further, what you consider a valid decision for a given information, may not be seen so by all. You don't strike me as the type who would sit in the end of a giant tube filled with explosives that you light on fire to propel yourself into orbit. But I'd be hesitant to call astronauts stupid. See what I am saying?

So, what I really want to do is just spread the word of reason.

What exactly is it then?

I started to write a philosophical book, but it just came off as preachy and pathetic.

Because that is how a book preaching the word of reason written by a 19 year old with no education is likely to come off.

Plus, a lot of my ideas have already been stated by people much smarter and with more experience than me (like Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris, for instance).
.

Yes, they probably have.

 

[Larson0]

jesus man grow up. you've probably pictured your life at 30 and dont like where it will be. i doubt you would have made this thread if you weren't a bit scared of your inevitable loneliness.

whats the point? nobody is gonna change your mind or even give an opinion you will respect until you get laid. your not gonna get laid any time soon sitting at home. let us know when you go out to bars and interact with people who will fuck you. your not gonna get any ass at the fuckin grocery store. until you do your gonna remain lonely on your high horse.

know why im so relaxed and can deal with other people dumb shit? cause i fucked some chick this morning and last night. it doesn't take much effort to hold a conversation and keep your thoughts to yourself. eventually you'll be like " i dont care what the fuck her problems are, im gonna pretend i care so i can pound that and feel better"

 

[shishigami]

whats the point? nobody is gonna change your mind or even give an opinion you will respect until you get laid. your not gonna get laid any time soon sitting at home. let us know when you go out to bars and interact with people who will fuck you. your not gonna get any ass at the fuckin grocery store. until you do your gonna remain lonely on your high horse.

know why im so relaxed and can deal with other people dumb shit? cause i fucked some chick this morning and last night. it doesn't take much effort to hold a conversation and keep your thoughts to yourself. eventually you'll be like " i dont care what the fuck her problems are, im gonna pretend i care so i can pound that and feel better"

While I kinda agree with the first part the second part is awful advice.

 

[munki]

I'm not sure why you are so opposed to getting an education. Maybe I am biased, but I am a perpetual student (6 years of college so far, yeesh!) and i really enjoy being in class and being in an academic environment around other people. It could be possible for you to get scholarships, or financial aid for school and get paid to go to school, which is what I have been doing for the past few years. IMO, its not a bad way to live.

Since you are interested in philosophy, it really wouldn't a bad idea for you to at least take a few philosophy classes. Philosophy is something that is best discussed with other humans, something that certainly is not happening when you are by yourself in your room. Also, why perpetuate a possibly self-fullfilling prophecy by thinking you will never meet anyone you like if you leave Alaska? That doesn't make any sense to me at all! You really need to get out and experience other places and people.

 

[grafittibob]

Ignorance is bliss man. Some people just can't face the facts.
If you're a writer, college could definitely help you develop your skills.
Plus you'd have plenty of interaction with chicks, just think, you could meet the love of your life in an "intro to creative writing" class.

 

[blahman8000]

It seems like you're hellbent on being alone, to be honest. If nothing else, you should definitely pursue some education. If you take some writing and philosophy classes, like others have suggested, then you're in a perfect position to meet people with similar interests and meanwhile you'll be learning about something you're passionate about. At the bare minimum, it'll at least look good on your resume as you try to develop your career.

Like others have said, though, you really need to get off your high horse. You start a thread about how you long to start a relationship with someone, yet you shoot down every logical piece of advice people give you about how you can meet people and how you should give them a chance. If you don't open up and let go of your hangups about everyone else, you'll always be alone and miserable.

 

[psytaco]

let me get this straight, you believe the vast majority of people in this world are ignorant yet you have very little experience actually talking to people let alone making friends with them. what do you base your judgements on then? The mass media?

There are plenty of smart people in this world. if you weren't too arrogant to believe that college/university would be of no use to you, then you would realise this.

My question is, what makes you so more enlightened and intelligent than others? Is it because your well read or because you don't believe in alot of the norms of mainstream society? Plenty of people are these things, yet they are not so arrogant to believe that they are better than others. from what you have written, you spend most of your time at home, have few if any friends, have no relationship or sexual experience, and no education past high school. yet you say others are ignorant and have little to offer you. I hope you realise the irony of this.

anyway, my advice is be more humble of yourself (because from what you've told us your not that great), and be warmer and more accepting of others. If you can do this then that will make friendships and sexual relationships be more likely.

 

[ZombieK]

Dating really is not as hard as you think. As long as you have the balls to at least ask girls out you are good. The worst they can say is no right? Unless they are a cunt but we wont go there lol. I tried a dating site and have now been seeing my guy a month, the same guy that took me on my first real date ever at the age of 20! I get a few guys asking me out now that I am unavailable lol. So try okcupid.com it is free and just message nice girls and ask them if they would like to go out on a date sometime. YOU CAN DO IT!

 

[rakeone]

How do you suggest I go about starting a relationship?
This may sound egotistical of me (hell, it probably is), but I really don't care for most people my age (or most people in general).

You gonna get along with girls just fine in that case

 

[Lysis]

^^ LOL I ROFL'd hard.

 

[rakeone]

You are fucked. Plain and simple.

I was digging around in my wise old jaded hippie bag of tricks for some useful suggestions for you, but when I got to the "small town in ALASKA" part I realized you were doomed. There are barely any women in Alaska in the first place and with your scenario and attitude you will certainly be forced to choose between an expensive mail order bride from the Ukraine and moose sodomy.
.

I laughed so hard my boss wants me to take off today :D

 

[wizekrak]

Honestly you need to get out of your comfort zone and experiment with life. Do some stupid and crazy things, makes for great stories and gives you a bit of an edge. People in general want to be around people that are fun and make them feel good about themselves. The whole brooding tortured soul thing really only appeals to teenage girls. Gt out and live, or travel, or anything. Make yourself interesting and fun and people will come to you. It's what I had to do.