Yes. My fucking unbelievably previous psych who had some horrible ideas/judgement in retrospect.... Had me on 6-8mg of Xanax XR a day, with additional 2mg Xanax IR bars to take as needed. Needless to say, I became extremely tolererant psychically dependent for about a year or so... Before I did one of the hardest things and got off after tapering.
But yes it can kill. It is ONE OF THE MOST HORRIFYING FEELINGS in the world IMO when you are at a level with a dangerous short acting benzo like Xanax like I was..... And then cannot get access to your pills! The past September i was in Venice and the dock-valet people took my bags and went to go, at least I thought... Bring them to my room....anyways long story short, after an incredible world premiere and one of the most fun and outrageously lavish nights I've ever had.. I blacked out drinking more or less, ended up on another island somewhere , phone dead... Boat driver long gone... Lost the girl and the people I was with. ABOUT 12 hours later of deliriously walking through sunrise and into the late morning in a stupid suit and loafers till my feet were bleeding a lot, I finally managed to get back somehow, without swimming..... By this time I could feel that it was BAD. It's a horrific feeling that compounds ontop of itself and expands and suffocates you and accellerates after and faster ans faster, you start shaking, feeling like you are going to have a fatal seizure any moment. Sweating balls... Can't sit, have to pave, everything extremely dissociative.
I used EVERY TINY MOLECULE of whatever will power.... To fight this off. And luckily a very busy person had empathy enough for me to call me a boat/driver ASAP and send me down with this chick to wait with me and to carry a crate of alps spring water and champaine.. I downed everything, and the boat did come finally and sped across the Adriatic sea , sitting on the back trying to not go into seizures and die , literally..... Chugging a 2nd bottle of ridiculous Chardon , knowing it might temp. Quiet my GABA receptors. And yes, I don't give a fuck about name dropping or celebrities but looking back on it.... The whole life threatening situation.... having Kira niightly and Madonna getting whipped in their driven boats right behind and next to me, watching me just FACING bottle after bottle, that old blond slut laughing and waving whats up, Im sure I looked absurd especially passing a normal public tour boat going like 50mph slaying bottles , full sear sucker suit flapping violent,y in the wind, twitching uncontrollably, literally on verge of convulsions and what I knew would be a no joke seizure , on the back of the mahogany leather back of the boat..... People waving and taking pictures meanwhile I'm hyperventilating hoping not to die yelling at the driver in horrible italian to drive full fucking speed.
Got to my new hotel right in time..... Where my bags actually were , and BARELY made it to my room. Swallowed down 10mg of Xanax bars and collapsed on the floor. Crying with relief. XANAX Can KILL. XANAX is VERY DANGEROUS.
And this same M.D later tried switching me abruptly to 100, yes , 100mg of Valium (which I had never seen or tried) from the Xanax when I got back with horrendous results.....I would have to leave class because I couldn't think or see straight , everything was ALL fucked up, and it made me even more angry because of this , or actually idk what exactly the effect it had on me but it was BAD. I did t care about anyone or bitvhes or even my classes (which is not myself) , I just would leave quick as possible and slur some words to to th valet outside school.... Get into my car, stop at the liquor store (no fucking idea why or what motive caused this ????) and I would buy around a half fifth of Jäger and red bull and just drink it all on the ride home through the city and bump music loud as possible.
In both situations with both benzos; it is a true miracle that I never was seriously hurt, died, or suffered brain damaging seizures....
fuck benzos really. They are a miracle when you REALLY REALLY need them. But that is it. I would much much rather be addicted to opiates (non IV) than benzos like that ever again. Once you are under the benzo dictator.... You are pretty much chained to a giant Xanax bar that controlls everyday and hour of your life.
End of the story....