Obsessive thinking

[blahman8000]

Does anybody else have this problem?

All day long, I'm hung up on whatever "thought phase" I'm currently stuck in. I torture myself thinking that I have some kind of mental disorder, or that I have some kind of awful physical ailment, or that some awful nihilistic philosophy is totally accurate, etc. Depending on what phase I'm in, I just torture myself. It's like having some kind of hypochondria that also encompasses mental disorders and other things as well. I'm just very obsessive, and I know that if someone else were to ask me for advice for the same problem, I would probably offer them some obvious answers that seem to work for others, but deep down I know that none of it seems to work for me. I analyze everything and often convince myself that I'm crazy, selfish, narcissistic, solipsistic, etc.

It's just very scary and I'm wondering if anyone had any real solutions for this madness ...

Thanks.

 

[Lolie]

My daughter does this. It's one of the milder forms and more common forms of OCD (there are 7 distinct kinds if I remember correctly and hypochondria is one of them).

She'll become attached to some line of thought suddenly and utterly obsess about it - I mean live and breathe it day and night - for weeks and then just as suddenly she'll lose interest in that obsession and develop a new one. She'll make all these intricate plans based around her obsession of the moment but I've learned not to make any plans myself based on hers because hers will totally change within a few weeks. Sometimes her obsession of the moment is "positive" and sometimes it's "negative" in nature, but they utterly exhaust her either way.

The general advice seems to be to seek professional help if the obsessive thoughts are disturbing to you or if they're preventing you from functioning in daily life. So if you're feeling tortured by them more than occasionally then it's probably worth seeing a doctor - OCD spectrum disorders apparently respond to sub-therapeutic doses of many psych meds from what I've read.

 

[unsettled]

Yes, I'm a very obsessive person, it seems to be in my nature. I used to obsess in a more hypochondriacal way but not as much lately. These days I often use it to my advantage, like I'll get obsessed with a certain musical artist and learn all of their songs and watch every one of their videos on youtube and read every interview I can find with them. Or sometimes I'll find a comedian I like and I'll spend a week or two where I seem to find a way to relate everything I hear in a conversation to fit into the style of that comedian.

I hate that I obsess over drugs, but that's the price of addiction, I'm slowly but surely learning that drugs lose all their charms when they become the center of your life.

I obsess over women, usually my ex and some other girl that I may or may not be dating. It changes from month to month.

Basically I obsess over anything that catches my interest, it's all or nothing with me. I just try and use it to my advantage and lay off the Dexedrine cuz that will really exacerbate the issue...

I finally started seeing a psychiatrist and things have been improving but it's a crooked path, ups and downs but I feel I'm learning to accept my obsessive personality and learn the difference between healthy obsessions and unhealthy obsessions.

If you feel your obsessive thoughts are getting in the way of your life go see a therapist or psychiatrist or both, you definitely aren't the only one and you do have the power to change your thoughts and life. Find a way to obsess over not obsessing?

 

[blahman8000]

It's been a while since I posted this. It's only gotten worse. Drinking really has been the only way I've been able to relieve it. It's gotten so bad that I feel trapped by my thoughts and fears every minute of the day. I feel consumed by it. I feel trapped. I've tried therapy and it went no where. And anyway, I feel like if I talk to a therapist, they'll only confirm my worst fears and tell me that my fears and obsessions are accurate. And I can't start drinking again. It doesn't seem like this will ever go away.

 

[n3ophy7e]

blahman, sorry if you've posted this information elsewhere but I can't recall....are you currently seeing a therapist/psychologist?? Have you seen one before? Is it something you would consider? I really think you need some extra support at the moment. You've only just quit drinking, you're likely suffering with PAWS, you need help and it is available to you. This is a crucial time for you, you're freshly sober and if you don't get the support you need you could possibly be looking at a relapse. I think some kind of therapy could really help you with the obsessive thoughts and related anxiety.
Have you got support from your friends and family at this time as well?
Remember that things WILL improve, just take each day one at a time

 

[blahman8000]

blahman, sorry if you've posted this information elsewhere but I can't recall....are you currently seeing a therapist/psychologist?? Have you seen one before? Is it something you would consider? I really think you need some extra support at the moment. You've only just quit drinking, you're likely suffering with PAWS, you need help and it is available to you. This is a crucial time for you, you're freshly sober and if you don't get the support you need you could possibly be looking at a relapse. I think some kind of therapy could really help you with the obsessive thoughts and related anxiety.
Have you got support from your friends and family at this time as well?
Remember that things WILL improve, just take each day one at a time

Nah, I'm not seeing a therapist or anything. I saw one before but it didn't do any good. The guy didn't seem to be listening.

The only thing that has really helped me with this is drinking, but I just don't consider a relapse an option. Overtime things would get worse. I had these issues before I started drinking very heavily, but now it's worse than ever. Every time I feel relieved about one fear/obsession, a new one comes back and consumes me for days. It's basically all waking hours now. I can never seem to feel any peace.

Everything about me and everything I do or think feels like it must be a symptom of some disease or disorder. I know there's something wrong with me and it drives me crazy. I feel like if I see someone, they'll only confirm my fears by diagnosing me with something that'll make me feel doomed. This probably sounds ridiculous but I don't want to be told I'm a narcissist or some kind of psychopath or if I see a doctor they'll tell me I have some kind of progressive disease that will eventually kill me. I just feel like there has to be some part of me that is inadequate and failing. I don't know how else to explain it. Maybe it's stupid or maybe I'm totally right. I'm terrified of diagnoses, though. I don't want to feel trapped by this stuff anymore.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I don't want to harp on about this, but you've only tried one guy. Maybe try someone else. There are a lot of crappy therapists out there but there are also a LOT of really good ones. There's no harm in trying someone else, you might get lucky and come across one that really works well with you. It took me 3 psychologists and 2 psychiatrists before I finally found a good psychologist that helped me. I just really think you need some extra help at this time blahman, you seem so distressed by these obsessive thoughts and I know from experience how miserable that can be. Please get some help
Also, please PM me any time if you want to chat okay?? I've been through exactly what you're going through.

 

[Miss Kirsty]

mY partner does this...I think its what your talking about....

If my partner cant sleep he starts thinking about things, but not good things...He will think of a bad situation when someone screwed him over, or of friends long lost that either dont want to get in touch or who have lost his no...but he always thinks the worst...In his mind, the old friends have ganged up and they talk about him now toghether, and he lets these thoughts run around his head ALL NIGHT!!!
I woke up the other night and he was looking at me...I said "whats up?"...He replied "Cant sleep, to much shit in my head."....I said "what the hell could you possibly be thinking about babe...its 3 fucking am!"...He told me he has done it for years...He winds himself up sooo much during the night, just dwelling on stuff, and worring about things he cant change or things that may not even be happening ...Almost inventing things in his mind...they blow up so far out of proportion...He does eventually get to sleep but the horrible feelings stay with like a bad dream all day...
Op dont give up....Find another Dr and another until you get one who helps you...It sounds real OCD dude..
...

 

[blahman8000]

I don't want to harp on about this, but you've only tried one guy. Maybe try someone else. There are a lot of crappy therapists out there but there are also a LOT of really good ones. There's no harm in trying someone else, you might get lucky and come across one that really works well with you. It took me 3 psychologists and 2 psychiatrists before I finally found a good psychologist that helped me. I just really think you need some extra help at this time blahman, you seem so distressed by these obsessive thoughts and I know from experience how miserable that can be. Please get some help
Also, please PM me any time if you want to chat okay?? I've been through exactly what you're going through.

You're right, I probably should get some help. I've had a rough day today, mentally, and it kinda built up to a meltdown tonight. There's a lot happening that I've been hiding from, one way or another. I'm very scared of what the truth is. I'm afraid of what a psychiatrist or psychologist might figure out and tell me. The more I think about things, the more I realized that I'm a completely fucked up individual.

mY partner does this...I think its what your talking about....

If my partner cant sleep he starts thinking about things, but not good things...He will think of a bad situation when someone screwed him over, or of friends long lost that either dont want to get in touch or who have lost his no...but he always thinks the worst...In his mind, the old friends have ganged up and they talk about him now toghether, and he lets these thoughts run around his head ALL NIGHT!!!
I woke up the other night and he was looking at me...I said "whats up?"...He replied "Cant sleep, to much shit in my head."....I said "what the hell could you possibly be thinking about babe...its 3 fucking am!"...He told me he has done it for years...He winds himself up sooo much during the night, just dwelling on stuff, and worring about things he cant change or things that may not even be happening ...Almost inventing things in his mind...they blow up so far out of proportion...He does eventually get to sleep but the horrible feelings stay with like a bad dream all day...
Op dont give up....Find another Dr and another until you get one who helps you...It sounds real OCD dude..
...

Yeah, this is pretty much the cognitive side of OCD ("Pure O," as I'm told it's called). I just can't shut my brain up and it's really putting me through hell. The way your partner gets, that's how a lot of my nights are. I just can't stop thinking about the most unpleasant things and they build up and lead me to terrible conclusions about it all.

 

[theseeker]

I have OCD and one thing that helps me is setting aside a time each day to obsess about the shit I'm going to obsess about. It's hard to do because it's somewhat pleasurable to obsess and you really have to practice distracting yourself. I play guitar and have some other projects going on so I really try to concentrate on them. But come ~9PM, I really let myself dwell on all the shit I want. The key is to take the obsession as far as it will go- if you're thinking about some negative shit with your significant other- think the worst and loop it over and over. I find these intense sessions 'burn out' some of my obsessions. When you really start thinking about the stuff you're obsessing about- some of it seems really stupid.

This has helped me. By no means is it a cure-all- but it helps

 

[n3ophy7e]

You're right, I probably should get some help. I've had a rough day today, mentally, and it kinda built up to a meltdown tonight. There's a lot happening that I've been hiding from, one way or another. I'm very scared of what the truth is. I'm afraid of what a psychiatrist or psychologist might figure out and tell me. The more I think about things, the more I realized that I'm a completely fucked up individual.

Yep, I used to think the exact same thing about myself mate. But really, there is nothing to be afraid of. You are actually NOT as fucked up as you think. Things are always worse in our heads for stress-heads like you and me, but in reality they're not as bad as we think. It's not like you're going to uncover some horrible hidden memories or something like that. Sure it might be difficult to talk about some things at first, but it gets a lot easier. And it's so worth it in the end, the day that you realise "hang on, I AM okay, I CAN cope with life on my own". You've got the strength and skills to cope within you already, you just need to be shown how to utilise them.

For now though, please try to relax and try to let go of your thoughts. Each time a troublesome/obsessive thought enters your mind, tell yourself that it's not important right now and you'll deal with it later, and try to push it out of your head. PM me if you want to vent about anything. Take care mate, you are okay

 

[blahman8000]

If getting help leads me to finally feel like I'm not doomed, then it'll definitely be well worth it. It's so exhausting spending all day analyzing and thinking about what's wrong with me, and feeling like I'm hopeless and that I'll never be content or happy at all. At this point in my life, every hint of optimism or hope gets buried under fears and negative obsessions. I'm still pushing on anyway, though. I don't have much choice. Drinking just isn't an option. My liver isn't in as bad condition as it was 2 months ago, and I could probably get away with a night's drunk, but that will just lead me to throwing away all that I've been working for. I know one night with a drink will eventually turn into months without putting it down.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Far out man, I can totally 100% relate to all of what you just said above. I was at that point for pretty much ALL of 2011. But after 5 months of therapy, I am like a totally new person today. There IS hope

 

[Miss Kirsty]

SHit shit shit! I have been saying to my OH "Just stop doing it...Stop thinking about those sort of disruptive things at night.." I guess i should be a bit more considerate to him...I have control over my mind...If i dont want it to wander it dosent...Why am i different? Why cant people control their own thoughts? If my mind starts to go places i push those evil thoughts out...

I mean if i start to think about anything real bad, like my daughter dying or something, dwelling on negative shit, I push the thoughts away...if the thoughts are too painful my heart kinda wont let me think it...Why can i do that, when others cant and they just lay there for hours and hours thinking destructive thoughts?...

 

[Miss Kirsty]

If getting help leads me to finally feel like I'm not doomed, then it'll definitely be well worth it. It's so exhausting spending all day analyzing and thinking about what's wrong with me, and feeling like I'm hopeless and that I'll never be content or happy at all. At this point in my life, every hint of optimism or hope gets buried under fears and negative obsessions. I'm still pushing on anyway, though. I don't have much choice. Drinking just isn't an option. My liver isn't in as bad condition as it was 2 months ago, and I could probably get away with a night's drunk, but that will just lead me to throwing away all that I've been working for. I know one night with a drink will eventually turn into months without putting it down.

DONT HAVE A DRINK!!!! I know (just learned the other day) that capital letters are shouting!...Im not shouting, im just saying DONT TAKE A DRINK....
It wont juust be one drink or one day drinking...You WILL throw all your efforts away...Im myself ATM am trying really really hard not to fall ATM...