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THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,186
Day two 100% clean almost down and I'm feeling good. A little achy, body doesn't want to be a comfortable temperature and I've got a headache but it's all very mild. I want to use, but I'm not going to and I'm not obsessing. I did 3 NA meetings yesterday and just saw my oldest friend, which I think has something to do with it.
How are you?
How are you?
villian
Bluelighter
ballin'
got a new bed and an air conditioner today
got a new bed and an air conditioner today
badfish45
Bluelight Crew
Awesome I'd say 
THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,186
That is awesome to hear omen!! Great work
I am good thank you
I'm still amazed at how easy the physical detox from my methadone has been (it's day seven off that), when I'm feeling smug I like to think that it's because I listened to my own body and understanding of the drug and tapered at the right speed (i.e. faster than recommended) ;-)
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
this is so great. So happy for you, and you said also that it's actually going a little easier on you than expected. That's great news!Today I feel accomplished we did a lot of work around the house. Finished planting our plans in the outside garden. Very refreshing for a change.
THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,186
I wish I had a garden (and a 'we' for that matter). Thanks for the comment
rangrz
Bluelighter
better It feels as if the PH level of my stomach has come closer to 7 from its negative 9000 earlier.
Vaya
Bluelight Crew
Chilling, laying supine in my bed with a deep house / trip-hop mix I recorded tonight simply for this purpose.
~ Vaya
~ Vaya
Seyer
Bluelight Crew
Happy
Paulymorphone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2011
- Messages
- 190
Thoughtful
helium-4
Bluelight Crew
Fantastic
I should be going to be now, but a little indulging into 4-FA has let my bed time slide back a bit. Anyway, I've set myself up today to take the pharm tech cert exam (PTCB exam), and did a bit of studying for that test today. I have 200 trade name drug/s that I need to remember their generic name and classification of for the exam, so I've been working on some flash cards for that. I'm trying to keep the classifications as a tool to memorize the drugs rather than trying to just straight up memorize the name of the generic with the name of the trade drug, as 200 is a good bit of drugs. Remember not all drugs will have one active ingredient, and they aren't the easiest to spell, but both are super important. The chick in my prep class said that you really need to make sure you get the spelling down not just an idea of the names. One good thing riding for me is my studying of drugs since I first smoked weed in 8th grade. I do have quite a few already in grained. The rest of the info on the exam should be real easy, just need to review it, so its all second nature, and make sure I spend at least a 3rd of my time on the calculation part as there can go some easy points (types in calculations are waaay to easy). I can't imagine it being to hard, but I'm going to make sure I make it easy as possible for myself. Also, no way in hell I'm trying to take it twice, once and pass just like the written driving test haha.
So yeah, I've been pretty productive today with the above, but also with helping out my parents with a few things. I'm trying to do what I should have done from the beginning of moving home, I really should have just tried to brown nose as much as possible because in the long run it would/will save me so much stress, anger, or other potential problems resulting from arguing with the parents. If I'm struggling with my life, even with the most basic functional human tasks, having my parents also upset with me is a disaster. It made my depression I'm getting over (I'm splatchrome btw) worse because there wasn't much escape from stress. No friends, no good relationship with siblings or parents, no job (earlier), less exercise/movements, etc is what the situation was like, so there wasn't even a short period I could get away using a healthy method like if I was hanging with friends, or if I spent 8 hours are work which is 8 hours away from any dealings with my parents. I've been trying to do little things here and there, for both my parents and my sister, and I'm hoping it'll make the time between now and august slide by, while having it not be to rough.
I should write up somethings for tomorrow while I still have some energy, so I can be prepared to take on the day tomorrow.
I should be going to be now, but a little indulging into 4-FA has let my bed time slide back a bit. Anyway, I've set myself up today to take the pharm tech cert exam (PTCB exam), and did a bit of studying for that test today. I have 200 trade name drug/s that I need to remember their generic name and classification of for the exam, so I've been working on some flash cards for that. I'm trying to keep the classifications as a tool to memorize the drugs rather than trying to just straight up memorize the name of the generic with the name of the trade drug, as 200 is a good bit of drugs. Remember not all drugs will have one active ingredient, and they aren't the easiest to spell, but both are super important. The chick in my prep class said that you really need to make sure you get the spelling down not just an idea of the names. One good thing riding for me is my studying of drugs since I first smoked weed in 8th grade. I do have quite a few already in grained. The rest of the info on the exam should be real easy, just need to review it, so its all second nature, and make sure I spend at least a 3rd of my time on the calculation part as there can go some easy points (types in calculations are waaay to easy). I can't imagine it being to hard, but I'm going to make sure I make it easy as possible for myself. Also, no way in hell I'm trying to take it twice, once and pass just like the written driving test haha.
So yeah, I've been pretty productive today with the above, but also with helping out my parents with a few things. I'm trying to do what I should have done from the beginning of moving home, I really should have just tried to brown nose as much as possible because in the long run it would/will save me so much stress, anger, or other potential problems resulting from arguing with the parents. If I'm struggling with my life, even with the most basic functional human tasks, having my parents also upset with me is a disaster. It made my depression I'm getting over (I'm splatchrome btw) worse because there wasn't much escape from stress. No friends, no good relationship with siblings or parents, no job (earlier), less exercise/movements, etc is what the situation was like, so there wasn't even a short period I could get away using a healthy method like if I was hanging with friends, or if I spent 8 hours are work which is 8 hours away from any dealings with my parents. I've been trying to do little things here and there, for both my parents and my sister, and I'm hoping it'll make the time between now and august slide by, while having it not be to rough.
I should write up somethings for tomorrow while I still have some energy, so I can be prepared to take on the day tomorrow.
xstayfadedx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2011
- Messages
- 20,559
restless: why even sleep though? Sleep is for the weak.. I need to wake up for 4am so I'm not even going to sleep. There is no point. Its so funny I'm going to be fucked for work on saturday but I don't even care. Tonight I'm pushing the limit I'm going to the fucking moon.
motherofearth
Bluelighter
Heartbroken
I decided to give my brother my Coachella pass so I could stay in and focus on getting clean. Really, if my treatment program had not prescribed me suboxone I'm sure I would get high all weekend. That means I don't have my typical escape from dejection, so I'll have to sort it out sans drugs - this is going to be a rough weekend. I don't care if this appears to be the first world problem of all problems - all I know is I genuinely feel emotionally eviscerated over this. I'm gonna try to live vicariously through my brother, and giving it to him makes me feel better than selling it to a stranger. I told my parents they should try to keep me occupied and we should use the time together if they're up to it, so maybe good will come of it. Sorry to complain about something seemingly trivial but for me this is missing Christmas.
I decided to give my brother my Coachella pass so I could stay in and focus on getting clean. Really, if my treatment program had not prescribed me suboxone I'm sure I would get high all weekend. That means I don't have my typical escape from dejection, so I'll have to sort it out sans drugs - this is going to be a rough weekend. I don't care if this appears to be the first world problem of all problems - all I know is I genuinely feel emotionally eviscerated over this. I'm gonna try to live vicariously through my brother, and giving it to him makes me feel better than selling it to a stranger. I told my parents they should try to keep me occupied and we should use the time together if they're up to it, so maybe good will come of it. Sorry to complain about something seemingly trivial but for me this is missing Christmas.
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