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I want to die and commit suicide

J

jalesssablackharts

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2012
Messages
3
I mean it seriously. I used to take paxil and it made me want to re-enact the final scene of Vanilla Sky. SO I tried but ended up getting arrested and thrown in rehab! Now im on other SSRIS< i want to go off them so I will have the guts to do it. Have the soundtrack jamming and jump to my death in a high rise skyscraper in north dallas.



My name is David Aames and I'm 33 years old and I want to live forever!

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if the drugs are making you want to commit suicide you should stop taking them and get on a medication that works. I been there, and when you're on the wrong meds it can make you more fucked up in the head than you would normally be..
 
The meds aren't really doing it anymore. It's just that I am ready to flee from everything. I hate life and I can't make any friends. I'm not even someone that this community likes. I pretend to be this and that, the truth is, I just want serenity, peace, anything that could possibly even make me smirk and mean it. I have nothing and will never be anything b/c of ...well just b/c life sucks.Plus I personally believe when I hit that pavement I will wake up and this will all just be a bad dream.
 
brother,
I also was on meds and I got off of them..they can be great if you have the right one but over all not worth it and it sounds to me like whatever it is ur on you need to get off..personally i use pot, but that's here nor there..and how can you say this community doesn't like you when you only have a couple post? you seem nice to me .lil bout me is I don't have any friends either really. That's why I'm here kind of.I have my boyfriend and he is my rock..if i didn't have him id probably be dead by now, but I still get the periods where all I want to do is crawl in a hole and die..you're so not alone friend..ff to pm me anytime you need to chat or something, because I really do know what youre going through.
 
i know this doesn't help at all, but it will get better. you're severely depressed, thinking self reinforcing thoughts. please, seek out a good therapist, maybe one who specializes in cognitive behavioural therapy. this is the cbt "hot cross bun" model, the arrows represent how each of these things reinforces the other (positive emotions as well). you need to break this chain of thoughts that you are in.

Cognitive%20behavioural.gif
 
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damn this is some fucked up shit.

What if this isin't a dream? What if after you plummet to your death there is nothing? Maybe we are all just lucky enough to breathe, see and feel? feel anything, even sadness and despair.

The idea that there is some alternate reality where we go after we die, to me it is a selfish notion. The universe is unimaginably huge and if you think you, or I mean anything in the grand scheme of things you are wrong. there is nothing else after this life. Why? because we simply aren't of any importance.
 
Blanch said:
damn this is some fucked up shit.

What if this isin't a dream? What if after you plummet to your death there is nothing? Maybe we are all just lucky enough to breathe, see and feel? feel anything, even sadness and despair.

The idea that there is some alternate reality where we go after we die, to me it is a selfish notion. The universe is unimaginably huge and if you think you, or I mean anything in the grand scheme of things you are wrong. there is nothing else after this life. Why? because we simply aren't of any importance.
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Yea.. blanch is right. After death, you are like before you were born.. no consciousness.. no thoughts.. no feelings.. no anything. At least not until the resurrection.

You really don't want to commit suicide. That's NEVER the answer to any situation.

You really need to go to liveleak and look at what death and suicide really looks like. I tried to commit suicide once with 80 coricidin, taken all at one time. Talking about death and suicide is one thing.. but to see it actually happen is another.

The second time I thought about doing it I went to ogrish.. [before it became liveleak], and was terrified by the things I seen on there. That scared me enough to find other solutions to my problems.

Also the fact of not existing anymore is terrifying as well.
 
jalesssablackharts said:
The meds aren't really doing it anymore.
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Though there are significant physical similarities between pharmaceutical drugs in any particular class of antidepressants (generally speaking), there is w-i-d-e variability in chemical similarities. This makes for a tremendous array of possibilities, and it seems more than likely you would benefit from working with your doctor to explore the vast number of pharmacological interventions still available to you.

It's just that I am ready to flee from everything.
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Are you suggesting that you have evidence that proves you will, now and forever, feel precisely this desperate?

I have nothing and will never be anything b/c of ...well just b/c life sucks.
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Be specific. Life never sucked so badly that it warranted suicide in order to restore its vigilance. What is going on, or has been going on, that has you contemplating suicide? Talk to me; I care, and I want to listen to you! So give me an earful :D That's why any one of us is here!!

Be well,

~ Vaya
 
I feel the same way as the thread title, I'm not going to do it...fuck my life.
 
I want everyone here who is thinking about suicide to message me personally so we can talk this over.. <3
 
I have been thinking about it a lot the past few weeks..I went from flat ass cornfied Illinois to Seattle Washington..I went from having nothing no money, 2 friends, dad passed away a few years back and my mom just up and left me and my little sister in this shitty little town and my sister went to jail 2 weeks after I got out of jail so having my mom moved up north and sister in jail I was just staying at her apartment with nothing all alone and I knew I was going to be kicked out soon on the street with nothing and nowhere to go in the cold, but my best friend got me on a plane and flew me out to Washington to start a new life on and btw I'm addicted to opiates pretty bad I started shooting up a week after i got out of jail for the first time stole some morphine and shit from my mom and some needles from my grandmas house I just didnt give a fuck anymore I was ready to die I was at dead end road I saw no other way out so I pretty much told everyone goodbye and was planning on overdosing with a fent patch i stole from my mom also just for that so i could shoot the whole thing and go to sleep but I got on that plane & flew out to seattle with a bag of clothes (everything I had) but I don't know I'm just sitting here bored while eveyone is at work..things have been good here I have been here for a month put the needle down the night before I left and tapered down the best I could with poppy seed tea, I have used about 3 times in the last 3 weeks since I got here.

Sometimes I still think about just killing myself because I feel like I'll never be happy and that ill always be alone in a way but I just keep doing my best and pushing on..I have been looking for a job and hanging out and doing the best I can..I pretty much am only still here because of my best friends Aj and Brandon I cant end my life because of them two..I have known Aj since I was 10 and I just turned 22 on Friday..Iv never had a job been in and out of jail have a felony charge and didnt get to finish high school..but I know if I ended my life that I would be ending part of Ajs and Brandons life also I pray one day that I'll be happy and have a decent life..I guess the whole reason I'm going on and on is because I wanted to say just hang on..are time will be up one day and will get what we want ;) so I dont know how to realy expalin it but when you think of it like that nothing can really hurt you..I hope this made some sense..keep on pushin bro and be easy..life work in weird way..and its hard and you never know where its going to take you..but death thats easy and you kinda can get a idea of where it will take you and where your going to go..Idk..im out..be easy.
 
It seems as though many people end up in a spot where they're seriously considering suicide after a series of overwhelmingly negative events that left them overwhelmed.

Some of the things some people were forced to endure is truly mind-boggling. I think it's a sincere cause for celebration that you all have made it this far. I mean, seriously. Don't you?

What are peoples' experiences with making small efforts to do the little activities of daily living that seem so hard to do during depression? Absorbing natural sunlight with your eyes, staying on a fixed sleep/wake schedule, consistently spaced (if not also healthy) meals each day? Brushing teeth? Bathing? Staying hydrated?

I let all these fall to the wayside during my last year of sore depression up until this past December. I was really a mess, and barely noticed because I just didn't care. But the moment I accomplished something trivial, like cleaned my room or did the laundry, I felt a slight burst of hope. It was a slight whisper, telling me "hang in there. Just hang in there."

It was, and continues to be, a profound experience.
 
emilcrowder said:
I just talked to the OP and it's a guy. He told me that he was banned because this site thought he was trolling, he swore to me that he was serious. He told me that he is now in psychotherapy and getting better. This site better think about banning someone who is suicidal b/c it could've gone another way.
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Well i for one am glad he is ok...Do you know him emilcrowder? how did you manage to talk to him may i ask?
 
I'm sorry everyone here is feeling so bad and I hope things turn around for you guys soon :(. It's crazy how quick to ban someone was... I don't see how this post would lead someone to automatically assume the OP was a troll... He just sounds like he has some serious problems that need to be worked on. I feel bad that he seemed to be reaching out for help and he got banned :(. If you're reading this OP, I hope the therapy is helping and I truly hope you're in a better place.
 
My best friend feels like hes unlovabe and wants to die bnut hes an amazing person,how can i help him to try and like himself in even just the slightest way?i worry so much that if im not with him i could lose him because hes given up on life and im too late .
 
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