yteek said:
It seems like as soon as I start my day off these crazy neurological manifestations of anxiety ranging from face tightening, numbness, eye pressure that almost feels like bell's palsy I'd imagine, dystonic like tics and brain surges that feel like seizures.
Yikes! That sounds so awful
In reply, I want to take two opposing approaches to this.
*The first is to consider that these physiological reactions you're having are direct products of, and are in direct proportion to, the specific level of anxiety you experience each day. Obviously, then, to defeat the overwhelming physiological effects, you would need to effectively treat the anxiety. What are you anxious about? When you wake up in the morning and begin to feel the anxiety's onset, do any thoughts consistently cross your mind immediately prior to feeling upset? For example, let's say you wake up and begin thinking about the number of things you need to do that day. Or how little you have to do that day. The fact that you need to interact with people? That your birthday is coming up. That you like peach cobbler. Anything at all?
Also, some research on behalf of yourself. Take a moment and look up Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It's a conceptual approach derived from CBT, which I also found helpful. But ACT did more. As someone who suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder with comorbid moderate panic disorder, ACT did for me what no human or pill could ever have done. An associated practice I find very beneficial is Mindfulness and Mindfulness activities.
*The second approach that needs to be considered is that these are true manifestations not of the psychological experience of perceived anxiety, but are indeed symptoms of a neurobiological disorder that ought to be treated with specialized medications. It sounds as though you might benefit from Celexa or any of the common AEDs (Anti-Epileptic Drugs) such as Lamictal (I take this currently for mood disorder NOS & G.A.D.), Neurontin (Gabapentin) or Lyrica (Pregabalin). These are just "for what it's worth" suggestions and any decision you make must be under the supervision of a licensed professional. I have some diplomas and certificates... but licenses indicating 'm legally competent to dispense medical advice any more than a license to operate a motorboat.lol 
(this is true across all of Bluelight and amongst all users, though - FYI!)
I'm not sure what other treatments for a true neurophysiological disorder like Tourettes's Syndrome - although, treatments for classic AUTISM (Fun Fact: I work with these types of clients every day) might help with the locomotive distress you're having. If it's a result of this type of disease, however, it absolutely must be treated in order to live life again. Our knowledge of the most intricate workings of human neurology makes your prognosis likely very good with medication, if not combined with therapy.
And a thyroid test?
NEVER a bad idea, my friend! Get that shit done, begin to feel secure. Had 'em many times; something's out of whack, well bam it gets taken care of and I'm on my way in life without having to perseverate on negative thought-loops like "What's wrong with me? Could be my thyroid. I wonder. But how I would know? .....
ad nauseum. Of course, I contrive these from the way my own mind runs away with itself, but perhaps you can find some relation within them. At any rate,
this is where it starts,
yteek, because gravity just won't lift your feet for you! Time to take some action and begin to reacquaint yourself with what life can be like -
if, of course, you actively seek it!
yteek said:
I went the benzo route and I've seen the addicting qualities and dependence factor, despite all that I kinda would want a few Xanax but wheres that going to get me? Personally I think no where.
Please take care. I'm very glad you've recognized the futile, pervasive and damaging consequences of long-term use of benzodiazepines. I "Quote Thee For Truth." Especially that nifty little last-sentence truism you threw in there. Benzo's altered my brain chemistry to such an extent that I was still experiencing PAWS after 14 months!! I'm glad you
want to avoid that easy yet self-degenerating approach that so many find so irresistible. See? You've got a level head after all. Just take this one step at a time, and reach out for support when you need it.
Stick around buddy
~ Vaya
