It's funny, this post made me sign up here so I'll add my two cents. Psychiatrists are in my history notoriously difficult to actually listen to me. I've been medicated since 4 1/2 years old. thats nearly 24 years of near constant medication for either ADHD, anxiety, and Depression. I've been on quite a number of SSRI's over the years, the newer ones that have come out the past few years unfortunately are unaffordable even with Insurance. Here's a list that is not in order.
Citalopram
Lexapro
Luvox
Paroxitine
Sertraline
And drifting into the SNRI Catagory I have also been on Venlafaxine.
I hated them, not because they seemed to work, but because every single one has caused the side effect that I will not tolerate, Sexual Disfunction. "Hey I'm happy, but I can't perform in bed! Awesome..."
Oh and Sertraline caused what the Emergency Room Doctor to call "Pseudo-seizures"...
So I quit it all for two years where I compensated with Drugs, alcohol etc.
In 2008 I started back up again, same issues appeared. I have trouble with my memory due to reasons I cannot determine yet, however by November 2009 they had me on the following regemin:
Seroquel 3x Daily
Remeron 1x Daily
Citalopram (I've forgotten how many doses per day)
I am pretty sure the last one was Buspiron 15mg 2x daily.
Again it's hazy around that time period as you can imagine. But I felt completely lifeless, the only feeling I could feel was Extreme Anxiety. This led to a suicide attempt. "If I can't feel, why go on? Just erase me."
Two back to back Psych ward stays (the second because they didn't taper me off of the Citalopram which led to SSRI withdrawal symptoms including "brain zaps" which led to a near second attempt) and I was in rebuild mode. I took a short leave of absence to let the new regimin take effect and allow myself to start CBT.
I felt fucking great! That is until I realized I had gained 70 pounds from the Remeron... That I could not abide by so we switched from that to wellbutrin sr. It worked wonderfully... until all that weight disappeared and we did not take into consideration the amount of weight I had lost compared to the dosage of Wellbutrin I was on. Anyways after a few weeks of gradual hell (also feeling strung out because of the increased range of time between Klonopin doses) we agreed on this current regimin:
Wellbutrin XL: 450mg 1x daily
Buspar: 15 mg 2x daily
Trazadone: 50 mg at bedtime
Klonopin (this was the tricky one, after two years of being on it we are well aware that I am dependent on it) 1mg @ 6 AM, 1mg @4 pm and 0.5mg at bedtime)
So far so good, what has truly given me better tools for the behavioral side of things is CBT. With them combined it's an astonishing difference from where I was two years ago.
However we are running out of options other than moving on to Anti-Psychotics and Mood Stabilizers which I will not allow in my body.
My case is not the same as everyones, but I urge you to be completely honest with a psychiatrist and/or therapist. The chemicals that we take recreationally can have terrible side effects when combined with anti-depressants.
So that's my "small" introduction and my two cents. I'm by no means "cured". This disease last for a lifetime, we have to be strong enough to face that either with medication, or without, whatever path you choose.