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Why won't MDMA effect me, no matter what I do?

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schismm

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 27, 2012
Messages
5
Hello all,

I have a strange problem, atleast from my point of view its strange. I have tried MDMA (pure powder) a few times I'll say six times in total. The first time I tried it, I had a horrible experience due to outside things happening, my girlfriend who I've been with for over ten years, deciding it was a lovely time to call me and tell me she was done with me, I broke down like I never broke down before. I was overly emotional because of the molly, saying I was going to kill myself, crying like a baby, thankfully my friend took care of me, but I never fully recovered from it. I don't know if its possible for something like that to perminately leave an impact on someone, but it would seem it did. Maybe a few days after the event, I decided to try it again, this time I felt nothing, I got tired and fell asleep on it. Third and forth attempt the same exact thing happened, no euphoria just tired. So after getting a new batch of molly my friend asked me to try it to test potency, because he claimed it was weak but he just had been rolling constantly and it had little effect. I took 400mg this time, and my god was I high. I felt ontop of the world for about an hour or two. It was amazing the greatest feeling in the world, I never wanted it to end, even though it was SOOOO strong it was almost too much. Then I went inside to play some video games while rolling, and instantly I felt myself becoming depressed. It went to the complete opposite, I wanted to die, I couldn't take it anymore I was going to crack. I took a few ativans and forced myself to sleep it out, but I was depressed for a few days after.

Then I tried it again a few weeks later, a very small dose of only 100mgs, and I got nothing except tired again, and now I'm back to where it all started. I want nothing more then to just roll with my friends once and awhile, but I just can't and I seem to bring everyone else down around me because I don't feel it. I'm currently not on any anti-depressants and the only meds I take daily is 12mgs of suboxone, but I doubt that has any effect on it. I do suffer from depression, and I think possibly my serotonin is always so low that the MDMA can't have an effect on me. Does anyone have any advice how I can have a good time for once, and not come down so hard I want to die? Any questions you have for me that would help you guys solve this, I have no problems in answering them. Thanks in advance!
 
First of all, I am scared for you, if anything makes you feel suicidal please dont take it until you feel you are prepared, and even then be cautious, this community loves you!

Suboxone might not be the cause, but how long ago did you stop taking opiates? Maybe you haven't given yourself enough time to balance-out. Also, waiting the minimum of 30-90 days between rolls is crucial. Also, testing the E is very important. And lastly, cannabis may help, that's why it's reputation is taking care of head.

I had a similar glitch when I took acid for the first time and the next few times went off in the same crashing sadness depression. Then I just gave it some months until I felt like I had IDK zen merit or something, and took acid with my wife. I know it sounds cliche, but all you need may be love. I had a huge hole inside me that I couldn't ignore when on drugs, so I had to wait and the experiences of infinite love are worth it. I have seen people break down like therapy style while rolling and it didn't ruin my roll. If your friends think that you not being happy ruins their roll, then maybe you should consider rolling with other friends. I would find a sense of a heavenly blessing to help anybody especially a friend while rolling.

Oh, and check out the posts on serotonin boosting diets and the dark chocolate thread it makes the roll feel more lubby dubby.
 
Thanks ntr420, I lost the person I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with recently, and I suppose that missing out on her love is possible as to why, however a chemical is a chemical and I figured there should be some effect regardless. I'm not dumb though, when a substance makes me depressed and suicidal I know its because of said substance, and I know never to act on that, I do very much appreciate your concern and kind words. I'm currently attempting to try small amount of molly I've seen people do the licking method, and figured I'd give it a try, as soon as I read your first sentence my eyes lit up and I was filled with a warm happiness knowing theres hope behind everything. My friends dont say they are bothered by me not rolling, infact they do as you say and try to help me, I just always thought that was a bother, I don't understand rolling because I never truely have so I guess I was wrong thinking they would be bothered.

I'm also going to try smoking something soon and see if I can get that to help. Thanks for your response again, I really appreciate it.
 
Dude it was just like the same exact story for me right when I started feeling the acid for the very first time as a guinea pig for my friends, (it was really good and powerful) I got a call from some stupid girl who was probably possessed and didn't know it. Anyway it was like I couldn't have crashed harder ever Ever. And I thought I was prepared for that kind of thing. I was seeing tribes of indians getting slaughtered and it seemed like I was so sure it was real images etched on the other side. I thought it was the worst hell, potentiated by a temptress.

But now that I have my Wifey, I am so happy that life didn't turn out any other way. I couldn't imagine being with another person. And after we took Ayahuasca together, now I really see a lot more about god and existing and stuff. If I would have got my way and didn''t have to make it through those like 12 months or so of just not being myself and being depressed and stuff then I wouldn't be here today with my wife. That sounds like hell to me now. It's almost like (cliche alert:) it had a greater purpose.
 
It sounds like real bad timing for your mdma experience when your gf decided to dump you over the phone like that, and maybe your mind/body handled it in a completely different way.

Emotionally, It could have affected you permanently.

However!

Please bare in mind that 400mg mdma is a lot of mdma, of course that is going to make you feel depressed when you come down.

How long has it been since you last took mdma Schismm?
 
I'm slowly bumping small amounts today, but before that it was about 2 weeks I'd say. Today, doing molly in small doses I came to conclusion that I am infact quite depressed, and I know I have alot to do before I can find happiness. But, I guess molly isn't for someone with depression. I was somewhat happy being able to reflect on my life today, but it was very sad at the same time, and if I had taken a large dose I wouldve been in for hell. Thankfully the small doses really let me get a feel for everything. The reason I took 400mg was because my friend has a large tolerence and wanted me to test his batch, he claimed it was really weak, but like I said he had a tolerence. So I took 400mg and yeah, fml. Although the 400mg dose didn't last long at all, which is what supprised me. But I guess until now I didn't realize how shitty my outlook on life has been, I lost my job, my girlfriend, and most of my friends are drug addicts. Its a dark place, but today I made some attempts to fix them, and it made me a bit happier. I'm glad it gave me the chance to give some insight into my life, even if it was very sad.
 
Ok, did you know the minimum recommended wait time between doses is 30 days, but ideally you should aim for 90 days.

http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/i/i_03/i_03_m/i_03_m_par/i_03_m_par_ecstasy.html

Low Serotonin levels has been linked to depression.
You need to give a chance for your brain to rebuild these serotonin levels between doses.


MDMA depletes out serotonin, its a potent serotonin releasing chemical.

Id recommend you take no more than 150mg once every 60 days personally,
But at this moment in time you should give mdma a decent break (90 days). It's obviously causing negative problems for you as well.

Everyone is different too remember, some people need more, some people need less, some get affected by stuff moreso than others, where as some hardly feel anything. (Depression/ side effects wise i mean by this, not, what 100mg does to someone)
 
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