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TDS Social thread vs. 2012.1

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Happy more commercial rubbish to make singles feel bad and couples feel obliged to make an over the top effort day to you both! :D <3
 
from wiki:

The first representation of Saint Valentine appeared in the Nuremberg Chronicle (1493); alongside the woodcut portrait of Valentine, the text states that he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II, known as Claudius Gothicus. He was arrested and imprisoned upon being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. Helping Christians at this time was considered a crime. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner – until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor – whereupon this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stones; when that failed to kill him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. Various dates are given for the martyrdom or martyrdoms: 269, 270, or 273.
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he was martyred for defending the marriage rights of christians. damn.
 
Nice. So we're celebrating someone being clubbed and stoned and beheaded with Hallmark cards and I Wuv You teddies? I say we, haha, I'm not.. stupid Valentines day.
 
Haha :) out of all the over-commercialised holidays, Valentines day is my least favourite.. not just because I am single, haha, but because it's so forced and OTT and meaningless..
 
^This. Happy "oh shit, consumer spending dips in the post-xmas months, with a minimum in mid-February; how can we get a boost to tide us over to Easter?" Day!

:|
 
so i sorta have a valentine's day date now after all :):):) last minute

she had anti-valentines plans with her roommate already, but i'm gonna come over anyway.... and take my roommate with me

hopefully my roommate and her roommate don't creep each other out =p
 
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Hey everyone, ive crept outta misery to come n say hi...
Stardust id love a dog or cat of my own goddamn i love em to bits. Cant have pets where im livin is the case and im im no position to move yet, rather the oppisite:|
Valentines day was royaly fucked up by me due to my inability to get positive. Feels like i just kinda made her bored and unhappy due to the fact i was havin a shocker.
Shit with the whinging again, On a lighter note i spose im here, and the valentines disussion was funny, so thanks i spose for giving my head a few minuits without a shitfight breaking out<3
 
SMFG maybe she's mistaking your "neutral" state for a "negative" state?

i've had exes that have accused me of being a bummer when i felt like i was just chilling

then again it can be a mix of both that leads to a downward spiral idk <3 though

my "date" tonight went alright =p her roommate was there, and i brought my roommate with me. her roommate tay ended up being a druggie, so she and i naturally ended up talking a bunch... i think that kat (the girl i like) thought that i like tay (her roommate) more all night.... since this is one of the first nights i've hung out with kat, but i ended up chatting with tay more.... but that was just because of common experience and etc.

kat hit on me at taco bell awhile ago, and i know there's many reasons why its dumb but i really want a girl that makes the first move. our society is all prince charmings swooping in on white horses and etc. but she chatted me up one day when i was cleaning tables at taco bell, and i really like that :)
 
Hmm, I was hoping I would have gotten a phone call today, but nope. Hoping that package gets there tomorrow if it didn't get there today. That is my last hope for a phone call. Still I'm super depressed that I didn't hear a damn thing from her. I know its a bullshit holiday, but it can still hurt.

I took an extra clonazepam and just chilled/watched tv after my appointment today.
 
imo you have two options here

1. move on
2. really really let this girl bury deep into your soul and get really resentful about her so that the next girl you date has a huge obstacle to overcome. because once that obstacle is overcome then the rest of the relationship will be smooth sailing.

the best relationships start in the midst of adversity =p

once you move on for a bit and see some other girls maybe this original girl will give you another chance even

you guys are too young to be exclusive IMO. being exclusive with my first few girlfriends was a mistake IMO.
 
thenightwatch said:
SMFG maybe she's mistaking your "neutral" state for a "negative" state?

i've had exes that have accused me of being a bummer when i felt like i was just chilling

then again it can be a mix of both that leads to a downward spiral idk <3 though

my "date" tonight went alright =p her roommate was there, and i brought my roommate with me. her roommate tay ended up being a druggie, so she and i naturally ended up talking a bunch... i think that kat (the girl i like) thought that i like tay (her roommate) more all night.... since this is one of the first nights i've hung out with kat, but i ended up chatting with tay more.... but that was just because of common experience and etc.

kat hit on me at taco bell awhile ago, and i know there's many reasons why its dumb but i really want a girl that makes the first move. our society is all prince charmings swooping in on white horses and etc. but she chatted me up one day when i was cleaning tables at taco bell, and i really like that :)
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TNW u probably right on target there with ur first line bro, Its how do i show her that or let her know?? Its a Goodluck Headfuck...

Am stoked to hear uv been hangin with some reasonably cool people and that V/D (hahaha my first internal laugh) was cool ;)

splat ur in my thoughts bro, i know of this sadness you have as we have kinda talked about b4, TNW has a point with ur two options... Personal experience again:|
watch those benzos friend.. It's all too easy of sliping inot a habbit of "taking one extra". Can lead to a few more real easy, try take as perscribed (being a fucking hypocrite) its for the best<3
 
i feel like what i said was perhaps harsh and i am sorry if so splat

but splat.... now, we've already figured out that you're quite a bit like i was when i was young... and when i was young i was really really pissed when my first girlfriend left me...

but looking back at it 6 years later, i think the reason i was pissed is because i wanted my first to be my last

almost no one lives that story.... idk anyone whose first is their only.... idk if this girl was your first.... and i have several "firsts" milestones in my love life... but yeah *shrugs*

kindling the flames of heartbreak has never been worth it in my experience.
 
ha, nah I've been very good with my benzos. I actually got rid of (not like just gave away, but not relevant) a little under half of my script, leaving me with basically 1mg a day and a hand full of extra pills for the occasional extra benzo. So really, I took the scripted amount, just 1 more mg than what I was trying to keep my self on this month (1mg instead of 2mg ). I am known to occasionally take to much of my scripts at times, but I'm using a different system right now to try and make sure I take the right now amount of pills every day.

I have one of those week long pill cases, so I filled that up making myself a little more likely to avoid the dreaded, "oh grabbing on more from the bottle won't hurt", or plainly just forgetting how much of my daily dose have I actually taken (when the meds may be spread through out the day). I than took a empty script bottle and filled it up with a weeks worth of medication, and another med bottle to put the last 12 days of medication in (I started this week pill case thing after 4 days of meds already consumed). I also have a small portable medicine case, where I can put my one day's worth of doses in, in case I'm out and about.

Thinking about in my portable moleskin little note book writing the times and amount of drugs I take everyday for atleast a week, if not a whole month, to see how consistent my dosing times are. We'll see if that happens. The main purpose of that little notebook is to write down anything. It has no restrictions, as I want to make it something I can make into a habit. Putting restrictions as to what goes into end up preventing me from writting in it at all. So in sum I'm gonna use it to write down important dates, numbers I need to call for various reasons (or left from docs, etc), my thoughts and feelings at the given time, affirmations, goals for the day/week/period of time, interesting things I want to look up, things that piss me off, etc. My counselor really likes it, especially that I'm not restricting what goes in.

TNW, the frustrating thing is she also was like a best friend. That hurts a lot. If one of my best friends that I've known since high school pulled something like this on me, I would be just as upset as I am with her ignoring.

Also, I prefer serious relationships and hate/avoid meaningless or less serious relationships. It doesn't mean that i expect to marry every women that I'm trying to date, but I going into the relationship with the desire (if after the get to know each other phase works out well) to make it last and be as meaningful as we can make it. I hate meaningless sex, I hate meaningless relationships. I want both to be serious and very strong creations of lasting bonds. I am a bit young, but she was a bit older than me, so in her case, a serious relationship would be something that would make more sense I think in your eyes.

Anyway, good night guys
 
i'm not even sure that older people should take relationships seriously :)

really do hope you're doin okay

i ended up crying when i tried to sleep earlier cause i'm freaking out about court. idk how well anyone here knows me, but the girl on the hotline ended up having a tattoo that says "lovelife".

freaked us both out lol
 
OH man I am late on the valentines day bashing convo I had some good material about my Walgreens visit at 9pm on Feb. 13th. Darn.
 
I don't know if I've mention this anywhere or not, but I bought my self a "Moleskine Cahier [kaa yAy] Pocket Ruled Notebooks". I'm trying to carry it everywhere, no matter what I plan on doing, how long I'll be there, or if I have little time to even bother writing something it. The purpose for it is to have something on me at all times that I can literally write anything down in. It can be important dates, important phone numbers (like the neurologist, my PCP, the counselor, etc.), my plans for the day, How To instructions (say a small thing at work), something I want to research/look up when I'm around a computer, my feelings bad and good, my goals or desires, positive affirmations/motivational statements, negative thoughts I want to release, etc. I'm really hoping I can keep this up. I've carried it with me for a little over a week so far, pretty much at all times as long as I have a pocket. I'm not requiring myself to write in it all the time, or a certain amount when I do. I really don't want to put any rules or restrictions on it. I'd like it to be something I enjoy doing, as well as being a positive part of my life that just becomes a part of me. It will be a disorganized way of becoming organized. Hopefully it will help out with my ADHD along with my therapy. Also a great way to either release emotions built up inside, or support myself by writing something positive.

I spent a little bit of time after class today writing in it. I started writing an idea for a project to occupy some free time, while being productive and having a little fun. I was on a roll so I started to write some positive uplifting statements, compliments to myself, wise words of wisdom, and supportive thoughts about losing a friend. One of the positive statements that really shined, was this statement, "There is nothing more important in learning than making mistakes and asking questions." I went on a rant pushing the notion of never putting myself down for making mistakes, but on the contrary become excited. Those who don't make mistakes may look good on paper, but they lack the details and depth as someone who can turn a mistake into twice as much knowledge needed in the first place. Instead of putting myself down, thinking I'm not smart as I'd like to be, and ultimately a failure, I learn twice as much and go beyond what I wanted to originally accomplish. All I need to do is not be afraid to look at my mistakes, and turn them into positive learning tools. Mistakes let you ask questions you never thought of before, diving into a world you would have never investigated, unless you didn't make that mistake.

I want to apply this completely to my life. Whether it's school, music, personal intellectual interests (pharmacoloogy, neurology, etc), work, and whatever else comes my way. I think this could could help my struggles with ADHD, depression, and all the other crazy issues I have :D. My ADHD makes things I enjoy a struggle, making/playing music being one example. I feel like with the 10.5 years of being a musician, I should be 100x better performer and producer than I am. That could have been true, as I made so many mistakes getting to this point, but if I want to reach the goals I have right now, I need to be grateful I have these mistakes to use to ask questions. These mistakes can make me a fantastic musician that I'd like to be at some point in my life. With so many questions I can ask from all of those years of mistakes, I could surprise myself by progressing faster than I could ever imagine. I just gotta keep this view and before you know it, I could see a world that far passes what I dreamed of accomplishing. I just need to allow myself to make mistakes, ask questions, and learn with out ever stopping to feel bad about myself.

Also, since I've essentially wrote pages and pages on BL about the basics of RLS and PLMS, I decided that I'm going to create a project for myself to accomplish. I plan on writing up a detailed paper of an overview of RLS (with PLMS included). Discussing the neurological disorder (forms, causes [including idiopathic], symptoms, epidemiology, associated conditions, disorders, and diseases), non-pharmacological treatments, pharmacological treatments (going over the designed treatment paths, potential therapeutic options, discussion of mode of action for relief from some of the treatments), the negative impact on those individuals with severe or moderate RLS, history, physicians or specialist to seek out for treatment, and issues associated with RLS and physicians, as well as non-medical individuals (myths and misconceptions). I've already essentially wrote little rough drafts of some bits and pieces, as well as all the links I've read/used bookmarked or saved. I just need to put it all together. I'm thinking I'll show it to my neurologist if/when I complete it, so he can have a look and maybe help me out, giving me corrections, thoughts/concerns, etc. Being that he's a friendly neurologist who even spent 10+ minutes not even talking about my problems, but various medical and science related topics, all while he had other patients in the waiting room.

Anyway, hope you all had a great day. I had a pretty fantastic one. I have still a little part of my mind that remains in severe pain/sadness, but overall I feel like I accomplished a lot. I learned a good deal at work and at class, on top of making big strides in my mental health. I gotta keep this up. If I can have even a couple days each week like this, I can reach the 5-8 month goals I have set up. They aren't even very big, or hard to reach. It just takes a little more time and effort. The quicker I reach them and more accomplish before that point, the better the future will be.

Man I love this positive energy I have today!

I feel awesome about my medication distributing system I put together two nights ago too. It's is helping me not abuse the medications I have. I started the system 4 days after getting the scripts filled, using a week pill case, with the right amount of pills for each day. In another bottle, I distributed 1 more week of all my meds, and in one last bottle the last 12 days of medication for the whole 30 days (i put these two bottles far back in my closet hard to get). I feel like I'm getting a little bit more control over myself by actually following my prescriptions directions, not using them to just get high. I'll sometimes feel that since I have so many pill in a bottle when I get the script filled (either the methadone, clonazepam, or amphetamine ), I can get myself as high as possible and have a great time. Well I've done this in the past, and it just leads me repeating this process over and over till all the pills are gone. I think I can just do it for one day, but 've shown myself if start out abusing it the day the script comes in, its almost guaranteed to no stop at one day of fun. Well, this month I not only didn't abuse the methadone, the clonazepam, or even the most impulsive (from my past history this past year), the amphetamines. I stopped abusing everything, and tomorrow it will be a week form the methadone and amphetamine refill. I even dealt with huge amount of depression, but didn't use that to justify my abuse this past week. That's huge, but I can't stop worrying about my past history quite yet, there are still over 20 days till the next refill.

edit: I went back and edited it. I just got home from class, and type it all up quickly. After typing so much, I didn't feel like proof reading, so I apologize for the mess that it was to read. It's a lot cleaner. Or atleast I hope so haha.
 
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How are all the TDSers today? Had a good day i hope?i am bored it is 6am and i still havent slept. May take my son to the park today if itisnt too cold
 
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