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Does being a junkie really mean i can only get anti depressents?

GbizzleMcGrizzle

GbizzleMcGrizzle

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 16, 2008
Messages
139
Location
Brooklyn, New York
I've just come off a 10 year heroin addiction and little over 3 years of hopping frieght trains and squatting in every city that had good cheap dope. But after my partner fell 4 stories and shattered half her body, I decided to get my shit together and use these worthless BA. I've found a Dr who gives me all the suboxone I want but he wont do anything more. So I started going to psychiatrists, because I guess after 10 years of shooting drugs and 3 years of sleeping outside and literally fighting for my life ive developed depression and crazy anxiety. They gave me zoloft which feels like the bad parts of an acid trip and told me there is no chnace of getting something like Xanax because I'm an addict. Ive seen 3 dr's now and they all say the same thing.
Is this shit for real? Do I really have to smoke and drink myself to sleep every night until I can afford to see someone in chinatown who will give me what I need? I just don't get it its hard enough to not buy dope from my pot dealer when I sleep 2 or 3 times a week.
I guess I'm wondering if this is common practice or if I'm just running into a bunch of assholes.
Thanks
 
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Okay, I know this is not what you want to hear but it's probably really really unlikely that any doctor will prescribe you benzos for anxiety. And honestly man, it's probably for the best too. Benzos are really addictive and the withdrawals can be worse than opiate withdrawals (I don't know from personal experience but have read so on here). Some anti-depressants can help a little bit with anxiety, and for sure if you feel like the zoloft isn't working well for you, make sure you tell your doctor and maybe discuss trying a different type of anti-d. For the anxiety, you know what is going to work the best for you?? Therapy. Regular therapy sessions are probably the best long-term solution to anxiety that there is. It is much harder work than popping a pill in your mouth, sure. But over time it will be SO worth it, to learn effective ways of overcoming your anxiety, without meds.

You mentioned you've seen a psychiatrist? Did they mention anything about therapy? Could you ask them, or your doctor about it, and perhaps get a referral to a therapist who is experienced in dealing with anxiety patients? Like I said, it's probably not what you wanna hear but it is arguably the best solution for you, especially considering that no-one is going to prescribe you benzos.

Lastly, and definitely not least, congratulations for getting sober man :) That is great. Keep up the good work!! Let us know how you're doing okay? <3
 
You're right that's not really the answer i wanted to hear but not because I think you're wrong. I know 10 years of heroin abuse and 4 years of living on the streets has to have fucked up my head a bit, and I've burned a lot of bridges and done things that I can never make right to my friends and my family, I can count the number of friends who still talk to me and aren't strung out on one hand. But I feel this approach is just like the 12 step bullshit, I've only known a couple of people who have sucessfully done the 12 step thing, everyone else relapses. The cats I know who have gotten clean and sober have done so with Suboxone, therapy, and the right drugs to deal with the rest, like anti depressents and benzo's. I can't take SSRI's because they make me sick, I mean REALLY sick for almost 48 hours. I went to a psychologist first, and he suggested I see a Psychiatrist for anti depressents and benzo's. Now I'm living with my mother, which is a big deal, she kicked me out and stopped talking to me when she found out I was getting high while my father was dieing. while everyone was with him for the last minutes of his life I was in a parking lot shooting dope, it was christmas day. But she see's that I have panic attacks and anxiety problems where I can't sleep for days. She buys me pot and booze to help with those problems, why because she knows I need something or I'll end up going back to the streets and getting high. And this is a woman who didn't believe in suboxone or anything but cold turkey. She also does this because I don't abuse either, after 72 hours of being awake I will drink myself to sleep, and I probably smoke too much weed but i mean it is only weed. Now all the Dr's I've see have said the same shit "I would like to prescribe you an anti depressent like zoloft and something for acute anxiety like xanax, but because of your past I wont".
I've done this so many times, tried to get clean, but I just turned 28 and I can't keep living on the streets or I'll never get out of this alive, my portfolio is becoming useless and dated, my resume hasn't been updated in 4 years, and for the first time in my life I want to be off dope for myself and not friends family or money. But i see it coming it's been 10 weeks and I have nothing going for me, I can't sleep I can't find a job, i have no friends to kill time with, and i have acute panic attacks. My pack is still packed with all my gear because i'm afraid of getting kicked out again. My girlfriend's suboxone dr prescribes her 60 2mg bars a month! (but she's in CA and I'm in NY) and I want 2 a week. I know what I need and these doctors know what I need, but wont give it to me.
I just can't find anything to use when I talk to these dr's to convince them that the 12 step thing is bullshit and I really do need these. I don't want to be on prescription drugs for the rest of my life, but i know i need something. They all think addiction is my problem but I know it's just a symptom of something else. My sister who is not on shitty medicaid and stuck with dealing with certain doctors goes to a world class psychiatrist and therapist for anxiety, and iv'e talked with her about it, and have gotten a lot of good suggestions for dealing with a lot of my problems, but i can't afford someone like that, I have to get my suboxone from a Drop in center on needle exchange day.
I'm rambling I know but is there any strong argument or article I can use to try and get a prescription for benzo's or do I just have to keep getting em off the streets from junkies? I don't know i guess when you're paying $400 a visit 2x months it's ok to prescribe benzo's but when you're poor it isn't ok. but come on anyone who has been truely addicted to dope knows that total abstinence and 12 steps doesn't work, that's why needle exchanges have doctors prescribing suboxone, and I know they would do more if they weren't afraid of losing their licenses.

I'm really trying to do this and do it right, and hopefully I will find a therapist who actually knows something about addiction (the one's i've seen have claimed to know about addiction because they were addicted to pot, or they were addicted to vicodin for two years so...) but the solution of take some anti depressents and let me tell you you're addicted to everything for 45 mintes a week seems archaic and useless.
 
When I read your posts I can literally feel how anxious and desperate you are because you see no way out except the way no doc will allow you to go - benzos. Even if you do not find any doc who will prescribe you xanax, getting illegally is the worst of all options. You will have to hide that use from all the psychiatrists you will possibly see, no one will control your use and thats the recipe for losing control of your consumption. Furthermore you will get addicted to benzos if you use them regularly, after a few weeks the dose you started with will do shit and sooner or later they will actually cause more anxiety. Doing therapy is what I strongly advise, and for that you dont need a psych who bills 400 bucks per appointment. And, there are anxiolytic drugs beside SSRIs and benzos. Many antipsychotics have anxiolytics properties, most of the non-SSRI antidepressants are also prescriped for anxiety disorder and will actually help you to sleep, for example NSRIs and atypical drugs like buspirone or trazodone
Trust me, benzos aren't the way to go nor is booze or weed, which eventually will worsen your anxiety issues. Admittedly, the side effects of those drugs mentioned above aren't particularly pleasant, but another addiction isn't either. Panic disorders are the mental disorders with the best prognosis if treated correctly.

Don't lose hope!
 
I've taken trazadon and some other anti psychotic before so I could sleep, the side effects aren't worth it to me. As a heroin addict I spend my time and energy making money and getting dope, and have little time for my artwork, with things like trazadone i couldnt paint a bowl of fruit much less anything good it's like a straight jacket for my mind. I just don't understand this thoguht that because I'm a heroin addict I can't use the same medications my sister uses for the same problems. They prescribe these drugs to millions of people why not me, I don't need it every day maybe once or twice a week. I could go out and catch a benzo habit easy as shit if I wanted to, it's cheaper than dope and I pulled that off every day for 10 years. But to do that i have to put myself in a place where there is a lot of good dope and I will relapse. but I need it somtimes As far as I see it i'm being put in a shitty position because i'm a heroin addict.
As for why they know, because a few years ago I was admitted as an inpatient. And there are no other doctors in my area that are accepting new patients, so i am stuck with this paricular group.
I don't know I guess i'm just unlucky, maybe it's karma.
 
Saying you NEED recreational drugs to treat your problems is pretty telling, no offense. You are off heroin and now your addict brain is trying to get you to substitute it with something else. There are loads of effective and far more sustainable ways to treat what you're describing outside of controlled substances. You spent a decade stuffing your brain with numbing substances, of course you are going to feel things A LOT more strongly now. You need to find ways to adjust to this and cope with life rather than just find more socially acceptable ways to numb yourself.

It took a lot of time to get to the point you did with your addiction, likewise it will take a lot of time and a lot of effort to get yourself physically and mentally to where you would like to be at again without the drugs. Quitting substances is extremely difficult and will be painful and life without them will be very hard at first. There is no way around this and if you want the changes you make to last, you can't just keep pouring substances down your throat so you don't feel anything.

I can't +1 strongly enough to everything n3o said above.

Also, you've come to the right place to help with this difficult time :) TDS is a wonderful source of support, information and encouragement. I do apologize if my words above come off as harsh but I'd rather that then see you go down a bad road believing that benzos are the only solution when in reality, they are more likely just an extension of preexisting problems.
 
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Me and you are in quite the predicament. I've just come off suboxone after 4 years. This is the bad part, once you admit you're an addict, especially in our time now, you will have a hard time finding a doctor that will prescribe you anything worth using. Why is this? Because the government has started cracking down on doctors who fill out prescriptions for narcotics like candy. If it's hard for a non-addict to get a narcotic, then you get the idea of how hard it is for somebody like us to get them. I literally had to beg and plead for my doctor to give me Lunesta, and even that barely works to help me sleep at night.

I refer to Doctors who hand our narcotics like candy, "Dr. Feel Good". Finding a Dr. feel good in our day and age now is almost impossible. Maybe if we were in this situation 2-3 years ago.. I have heard it said that if you remind the doctor of their code of ethics, that if they have a pill to treat you, they can't just not give it to you because they don't agree with it. I haven't tried this yet so idk...

I can honestly say I feel your pain. Just know you are not the only one out there who has this problem..
 
Doctors don't prescribe/aren't allowed to prescribe narcotics BECAUSE of their code of ethics. Like many said before, benzos might help you short-term, but in the long term they will not only lose their effectiveness but also worsen anxiety and head you into another horrid addiction. Believe me, you don't want to be addicted to benzos, opiate withdrawal is a walk in the park compared with benzos. In fact they should only be used for withdrawal, anesthesia and really really really extreme acute conditions.

The only conditions in which a responsible doc would consider prescribing narcotics to a addict is when there effectively is no other way to go, for example severe pain (opiates) or adhd (methylphenidate or maybe amphetamines). When taking this into consideration it is absolutely crucial that the patient is abstinent from all recreational drugs for a certain period of time.
 
I totally feel you Gbiizle have you thought about seeing a different doc and downplaying your addiction? Im gonna get flamed for this but you gotta do whats best for you and no one knows what that is but you. I know personally if I didnt ave access to xanax I would have relapsed on dope a long time ago. I get mine off the streets but luckily not from the same kinds of people that sell heroin. I can hear the desperation in your voice I can tell your close to sayin fuck it and relapsing so you gotta do whatever it takes to not let that happen no matter how ethically questionalbe it might be. my .02
 
That's all benzos are for is short term treatment. That's all the op needs. Then he can be tapered off, and put on something like Vistaril until he gets his anxiety under control.
 
OP please dont just dismiss this and laugh at me when i say this, because im someone who looks for the food option rather than drugs.

Add broccoli and walnuts to your diet, it should help to reduce your anxiety, try and drink the broccoli juice too.


I only say this because i suffer bad with anxiety, and im trying this and it is helping me
 
I made the mistake of disclosing to my dentist that I had a history of substance abuse (by checking a box on a patient history form) and was given Alleve for a tooth root abscess. Three days of hell.

So there are times where it's appropriate to have narcotics prescribed, and some doctors (like my dentist who had been treating me since I was a child) over-react. But asking for benzo therapy when their addictive potential is well-documented, and using them before other medications like SSRIS (and there are many alternatives to Zoloft) isn't appropriate for anyone, really. And for a doctor, it's more that just about losing their medical license. Using such a blunt instrument like a benzodiazepine simply isn't the appropriate standard of care any longer.
 
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Junk or no junk in your history you don't want to go down that benzo road. Benzos get deeper into your bones than junk, that's for sure. Coming off benzos is a month of medically-supervised hell. The withdrawals are worse than the reasons you got on the drug to begin with. Avoid them at all costs.

You're out of prison now. Put that shit behind you and learn to embrace life without drugs.
 
GbizzleMcGrizzle said:
...but come on anyone who has been truely addicted to dope knows that total abstinence and 12 steps doesn't work, that's why needle exchanges have doctors prescribing suboxone, and I know they would do more if they weren't afraid of losing their licenses.
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I take offense to this because I used just as much as anyone else and manage to practice total abstinence through NA/AA. This doesn't mean I'm superhuman by any means but it can be done. No one is suggesting that you suffer, but you should consider the alternatives, too.

I don't know you personally but if you were a friend of mine or someone I knew from the program I would tell you the addict deep inside you is talking.
 
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GbizzleMcGrizzle said:
As for why they know, because a few years ago I was admitted as an inpatient. And there are no other doctors in my area that are accepting new patients, so i am stuck with this paricular group.
I don't know I guess i'm just unlucky, maybe it's karma.
Click to expand...

Maybe somebody's looking out for you and you just don't know it...
 
darksidedsam said:
OP please dont just dismiss this and laugh at me when i say this, because im someone who looks for the food option rather than drugs.

Add broccoli and walnuts to your diet, it should help to reduce your anxiety, try and drink the broccoli juice too.


I only say this because i suffer bad with anxiety, and im trying this and it is helping me
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Did I really just read that? You do understand how bad opiate addiction causes anxiety, right? All the broccoli in the world couldn't help someone coming off of opiates. Benzos would barely do the trick, but they would still work! The OP does need benzos, or else he is going to end up addicted to something worse. I say the doctor start him on a high dosage, and just decrease it steadily over the next two months until he is completely off of it. He will be past the withdrawals then, and only then can they start him on something like Vistaril. Doctors can be complete and total assholes. If the OP's doctor really wanted, he/she could give the OP enough for a week, and the OP could visit the doctor weekly to get another prescription. There is absolutely no way the OP will abuse the benzos then, because the OP will only have a limited supply. I would think the OP would make the wise choice and take them as prescribed, unless the OP wanted to run out early. Makes sense, right?
 
xHippiexchildx said:
The OP does need benzos, or else he is going to end up addicted to something worse. I say the doctor start him on a high dosage, and just decrease it steadily over the next two months until he is completely off of it. He will be past the withdrawals then, and only then can they start him on something like Vistaril.
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With all due respect to you and your situation and experience.......are you a doctor?? Because if you're not, and I'm guessing that you aren't, I would really appreciate it if you didn't play doctor in this forum. It is a really bad idea to give out suggestions like this over the internet, especially to people who are in a vulnerable time in their life, and especially when you have no formal medical training whatsoever. Please be more cautious in the future, thanks.


Gbizzle have any of your doctors ever mentioned to you using beta blockers for anxiety instead of benzos?? Although they can have some unpleasant side effects, they have essentially no addictive properties, so it could be worthwhile bringing it up with your doctor next time you see them.
 
The actual rate of recovery in 12 step programs is 65%. 2/3rds of the people who chose to continue with the program after 90 days of attending meetings and not using stay clean. Probably some of those folks who you mentioned are the small percentage who do stay clean would be willing to tell you how they did it. If you are willing to take advice from them with an open mind you just might be surprised at the results. As someone whose 1st kick was in the 80s before suboxone you don't get ANY pity about being able to sleep a couple times a week early on.
In my opinion you are right where you are supposed to be. Feeling so miserable and hopeless that you give up trying to fix yourself. It brings one to a state of willingness needed for success. Despite how you feel now if you continue to not go to chinatown it will BE better. You can do it. Ask someone who has how they did it then try just one suggestion. Love you and Pray that you today is one where you get sleep
 
I know this is a controversial topic but could everyone try to be respectful of others' opinions please, and remember they are just that - opinions :)

OP, most things have been covered here but I would strongly agree than benzos are not good for the long term treatment of anxiety - you really, really don't want a benzo addiction on top of everything else. Therapy can be very beneficial - CBT works fantastically for anxiety for some people, although it is a commitment and you have to be prepared to work at it over several months - once you have the tools to control your anxiety though, you have them for life! There are other forms of therapy too, from counselling and teaching simple relaxation exercises through to psychotherapy.

As n3o said beta-blockers can help a lot with the physical symptoms of anxiety too (which can then sometimes help the psychological side, or at least keep things under control enough for you to get out and about) as they block the sympathetic nervous system, which is your fight/flight mechanism - they help with the racing heart, jumpiness, nausea etc.. definitely worth a try if you think they could help (not if you have asthma though as they exacerbate this..)

Finally if you are having trouble sleeping - how is your sleep hygiene? Are you getting any exercise during the day? (This can help your state of mind hugely as well as sleep.) Have you tried things like sedating antihistamines or melatonin?

Good luck and let us know how you are getting on <3
 
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