The wife and I went to the bar for a friend’s b-day. Had a few drinks...bullshitted...schmooozed...blegh. We left the bar to go home and partake in the new batch of MXE that had arrived that day. I had no drinks with alcohol, as I knew what our intentions were once we got back.
(Preface: The vendor I got it from announced he was switching sources to an EU source that was of higher quality
When I sampled the product after receiving it in the mail, I did notice that yeah, this shit is good.)
So after we got back home from the bar we began to prepare our drinks of
ice tea and MXE in unknown mg amts. (Yes scale, aware, it’s ordered). We drank them down and I dosed a quite heavy dose (naively) and proceeded to chill. I HAD to go to work that morning so I proceeded to hop in the shower to get ready for the following morning.
I then somehow got lost in the shower. It became a data universe and my mac was in the tiles. Like, the keyboard and screen and all that was there. As I danced about this world of letters, numbers, codes, and "bits of data," I became enthralled with the notion that coming out of the shower and walking around he house would be a good idea dripping wet, naked, and all.
Now, this is where I lose memory and my wife summarizes the events for me:
I first carefully and seriously slow-like stepped out of the shower and I told her that I was spider man crawling up a building and I had to be careful.
Then I walked to the doorway and stood in the doorframe for quite some time, ~45 minutes just grinning and making strange noises like humming and just making big cheesy grins all the while dripping wet.
Then I walked into the main room area and stood on one of the carpets (wood floor) and got down in a gorilla-like stance making the same cheesy grins. Then my wife asked me if I was playing football (‘Merican Foozball) and I got into the lineman stance.
(Here I should preface this with the fact that I played ball in high school).
She then tells me that I am going to feel that in the morning (bad back). I then jump up and yell, "HIKE!" Then go back into the bathroom.
I am told that I then say I am unsure if I used soap while I was taking the shower. Then I walked out of the bathroom and went to the bedroom where I lay on the bed making more cheesy grins and noises.
I then proceed to walk back into living room area and stand against the wall buck naked. I ask what the time is, she tells me. I space out. Ask what the time is, she tells me, I space out. Repeat numerous times.
I then walk over to the tv and xbox stand and stare at the TV while she plays COD. I become very immersed into the game, at one point making gun noises and explosions with my mouth. I start to fall over and catch myself but in the process bumped the xbox, which causes the disc tray to open. She looks at me and says, “What the hell? Close it man.”
I then hit the power button and completely turn the xbox off. Though she is a bit mad, she can only laugh at me because she knows that I am way off my rocker.
Then I proceed to declare myself unfit for work (apparently one of the very few things that I said that made sense) and tell my wife that I want to "procreate the earth with her. She is completely astonished I used the word "procreate."
Then I continue to try and seduce her in the most idiotic ways possible until I finally I come to on the couch and my laptop is in front of me and I am barely able to form thoughts while talking to folks on AIM.
I was later told that when I would make the cheesy grins and noises, I would swing my head and body back and forth as stiffly as you can imagine and it made for a great Ray Charles (RIP) impersonation.
Also, I at some point in that mess of wtf'ry, became very absorbed by the tattoo on my forearm and kept pointing to it, grinning and making weird noises.
Tomorrow 's gonna be a rough day, but I have to do it.
We missed you alot! Be safe sir, and let us know how it turns out. The social is not the same w/out ya!
