RLP
Bluelighter
From the home office website.....
MI5 and FBI to investigate 'drug pushing' website.
The home office today announced that the secretative organisation known as Mission Impossible 5 (MI5) are today set to join forces with the Estonian FBI agency in a crackdown against the drug discussion forum known as Bluelight.
It is thought the rogue forum is responsible for a variety of serious criminal crimes, including over £9000billion worth of transactions in laundered and ironed illegal drugs, harbouring illegal jaywalkers and giving birth to Saddam Hussein in the back of a Fiat Punto.
Oliver Kahn, from Bureaucracy division within MI5, issued the following statement:
"Today we launch a new war against the evils of drugs alongside the current war we are already fighting which has failed miserably. We will leave no stone unturned in our plight to retain government funding. A word of warning to the Bluelight users; We will find you. We will come for you. We won't make you breakfast in the morning."
There has been no formal response to the investigations from Bluelight ownership, but one already arrested forum user, who wishes to be named only as Captain Codshit, rode off into the sunset on the back of a brightly painted Mandrill whilst screaming infidelties. MI5 claim the closure and eradiction of Bluelight is paramount to stop the larger community falling foul to the dangers of Mandrill riding, which has been known to cause nausea, headaches, priaprism and immigration.
MI5 and FBI to investigate 'drug pushing' website.
The home office today announced that the secretative organisation known as Mission Impossible 5 (MI5) are today set to join forces with the Estonian FBI agency in a crackdown against the drug discussion forum known as Bluelight.
It is thought the rogue forum is responsible for a variety of serious criminal crimes, including over £9000billion worth of transactions in laundered and ironed illegal drugs, harbouring illegal jaywalkers and giving birth to Saddam Hussein in the back of a Fiat Punto.
Oliver Kahn, from Bureaucracy division within MI5, issued the following statement:
"Today we launch a new war against the evils of drugs alongside the current war we are already fighting which has failed miserably. We will leave no stone unturned in our plight to retain government funding. A word of warning to the Bluelight users; We will find you. We will come for you. We won't make you breakfast in the morning."
There has been no formal response to the investigations from Bluelight ownership, but one already arrested forum user, who wishes to be named only as Captain Codshit, rode off into the sunset on the back of a brightly painted Mandrill whilst screaming infidelties. MI5 claim the closure and eradiction of Bluelight is paramount to stop the larger community falling foul to the dangers of Mandrill riding, which has been known to cause nausea, headaches, priaprism and immigration.
