I was recently guilt-tripped into having Anal Sex with my girlfriend. She informed me that ex with me was so boring & predictable that it was like booking an office visit with her Gynocologist!!! I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine and, long story short---we did. Numerous times. It was awesome the few times we tried it. Then it happened. As I was struggling at her 'balloon-knot' to get inside of her, she tried to assist by BACKING UP ON ME. My erect penis bent backwards and I saw stars. I was agony for hours, I managed to drag my fool self to the e-room. Thank God, it happened in San Francisco, CA and not Muskogee, OK---also, Dr. House was not doing patient rounds that day!!! The ER nurse told me I lucked out, that people 'break their dicks' all the time in the Gay Community and it could have been catostrophic (colostomy bags, penal surgery and repair, impotence, penal pumps, etc. 8( Apparently, I only bruised my 'man meat' so I only needed Ice & Abstenance. FYI, Little Richard (Dick) is happy and fine. Question: How common is this injury and what about other anal problems (tears, fistuli, etc. I mean, look at any Anal Porn tape and they all have that 'brown circle of quality' mark (anal trama). Is that's why Taylor Swift wants to set up a chain of Anal Bleaching Salons. Why has the incidence of Heterosexual Anal Sex skyrocketed? Are their any taboos left?
Funny, the male was guilt tripped by the female for anal sex...hahahaha...anyhooooooo...
"How common is this injury?" Well, it happens pretty often I would imagine. I don't have a statistic or ratio or percentage of times it happens, but I know that is it not rare by any means. Also, being hetero or homo doesn't make a difference in dick bruising statistics - weather you're sporking or forking, the same potential for bent pork sausage remains the same.
"What about other anal problems?" Um....yeah...as for the things you listed: tears, fistuli, etc - I'll start with 'tears.' Every time something goes in or out of your rectum, even if you can't see it, it is highly likely that the skin has been torn. Even tiny little tears that you can't feel or see - this is why it is extra important to always wear a condom when having anal sex, unless you are monogamous. Use lube and go slow. Relax. There are tons of bacteria in the rectum, and the tears make it extremely likely and easy for bacteria/disease to enter the body. If your partner has a disease, you are more likely to receive it if you're the bottom or if you're the female (receiving anal sex). The most common 'anal injuries' caused by anal sex are anal fissures, hemorrhoids, loss of bowel control (shart-tastic!), or rectal prolapse (the old 'red sock' trick.)
Annnnnd let's move on to the old fistulas now, shall we? Okay - a fistula is basically a hole or pathway that develops between two organs that aren't supposed to be connected. There are two types of fistulas, rectovaginal (a hole between the rectum and vagina) and vesicovaginal (a hole between the vagina and the bladder). Both are considered severe medical conditions, and both are very preventable. Most cases of fistulas are caused by pregnant females who don't have adequate health care or are uneducated in pregnancy and let the baby sit too long in their uterus, that it cuts off blood flow, causing necrosis (death of a tissue or organ, etc) and the organs can rot and need to be removed. Other causes are botched abortions, severe rape/repeated sexual abuse, gynecological cancers, severe malnutrition, or pelvic fractures. Fistulas in the Americas or Europe or other highly developed countries with good health care are mostly non-existent. Maybe you were thinking of the word "fissure," which is basically a term for a tear or crack in something.
"Look at any anal porn tape and they all have that 'brown circle of quality' mark (anal trauma)..." Ummmmmmmm WHA???? I've seen about a bajillion porns, and I really have no idea what you're talking about. If you're referring to the natural discoloration around someone's anus, I may know what you're talking about. Otherwise, I have no idea what this hellion ring of butthole brown fire is that you're referring to. I've seen gigantor dongs and multiple fists up someone's sphincter and I am still not sure what this 'brown seal of quality' is or whatever you called it. Most people have darker skin pigmentation in their genital areas mostly because there is increased blood flow in those specific parts of the body. Also one would assume that your leather cheerio may have a darker tint to it because it has been getting poo rubbed on it for it's entire existence.
"Is that why Taylor Swift wants to set up a chain of Anal Bleaching Salons?" Who gives a rat's ass about T. Swift? Shit, maybe she can change the color of buttholes, but she can't make good country music. I digress. Let's chat about anal/vaginal bleaching. This is a trend that started with mostly porn stars, or any other celebrity or actor/actress who had their goodies all up in the camera on a regular basis. As the world has taken a flying nose dive leap cannonball into being obsessed with themselves and pretending to have a dispensable income (up the ass [not intentional joke] in credit card debt), this practice started becoming more available to the public. Lonely housewives who need their dirty old bungholes to suddenly be sparkly white again (or beige, or whatever color it is they are) just like they were when they were....zero years old. Awesome. (Can you tell I think this is completely ASININE [pun intended]). Anyhoo, many companies would develop home-use creams for the 'do-your-doo-doo-yourself' housewife which contain hydroquinone, kojic acid and chemical preservatives such as methylparaben and propylparaben. If you have any idea what these chemicals are, they are NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUR KIBBLES AND BITS!!!! Hydroquinone is believed to cause some pretty serious adverse effects and may cause liver damage, thyroid problems and possibly even leukemia. Uh, yeah, I don't want my dirty old snatch to be 3 shades lighter so I can get a cool case of BLOOD CANCER. $&#@)#*&^
Okay, yeah, I suppose there are safe ways to laser or bleach your clam out there, but if you're going to do such a goofy thing, do the research first and make sure you're not putting molten hot beaver burning bleach on yourself that causes leukemia. Or, maybe just take a good look inside yourself and say, "Am I really this self-centered that I need to change the shade of my genitals or am I just mad at my daddy?"
"Why has the incidence of heterosexual anal sex skyrocketed?" I don't think it has 'skyrocketed' at all really...remember, just because you have recently discovered something and started doing it, and then you notice other people are doing it too, doesn't mean that all of a sudden it's popular and amazing and exploding off the charts - it's kinda like when you get a new car. You got this new car, and you're driving it around, and all of a sudden you notice every other person that's driving 'your new car' when yesterday, you wouldn't have looked twice at the 7 sexy Geo Prisims you saw on the way to get your chocolate starfish bleached out.
People have been taking the boner train to hershey town for, well - EVER, basically. Damn near since that little trollop Eve ate that apple and then Adam...well you know that story (that reference is for serious lack of better term or exact date of first actual anal penetration, but it's been going on since the beginnings of time or very shortly thereafter.)
"Are there any taboos left?" Oh grasshopper...you have so much to try and learn!!! How about 'felching' for example? After you shoot your baby batter into your anal-loving girlfriend, you could stick a straw in her and then suck it out! Like a butt milkshake! That would lead us to a 'snowball.' After you *slurrrrrrrrrrp* up that hot butt/cum goo, you could kiss your girlfriend and pass it back and fourth in between eachother's mouths! Then, you two can become klismaphiliacs: being obsessed with giving each other (or yourselves) enemas! Which then in turn would lead you two to be coprophiliacs - oh, the love of scat! You two can fling poo at each other while having simultaneous orgasams! Maybe finger painting with poo? Who knows?!?!
In all seriousness, the word 'taboo' is kind of like the word 'beauty' - it's different in the eye of each beholder. What one considers taboo, another considers totally normal, every day practice. Like, I own about 10 different kinds of dildos and other various toys and have a vast collection of porn. I think this is pretty tame and boring and doesn't make me bat an eyelash. However, I could invite the nunnery over to have a peek at it and I think they would consider that pretty 'taboo.'
To sum up this story: you are lucky to have a girlfriend who wants to have the buttsaix. The end.
