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How to block out all emotions

Serene Imp

Serene Imp

Bluelighter
Joined
May 14, 2010
Messages
68
Location
Down a rabbit hole
I've been strung along by a guy and hurt too many times that I'm building up all my walls again. Tricked, lied to, had my heart broken so many times I don't want to hurt anymore. Is there an easier way to block everything out (besides pills). I don't want to feel anything anymore, building it up takes so long... any advice??
 
Ugh. I hear ya. The only thing I can suggest is to be pickier on who you get involved with. Get to know him first, and then listen to your gut when the red flags go up. That's the best I can do, because dating is all about this crap. There's good and bad. Although I've been completely fucked over, it doesn't mean the next guy is a scumbag and you can learn about yourself in the process. It's really all a learning process. You realize who you fall for, the red flags, who to avoid, how to deal with partner issues...it's all a process and journey until you meet a great guy.

Gotta kiss a lot of frogs first before you meet a prince. And there are a lot of frogs out there. lol
 
I'd suggest meditation. There is a skill to finding peace is solitude. The need for reassurance from other people represents an internal weakness. Realize that being alone makes you stronger because you don't have to rely on other people for emotional stability. People are driven by their desires, and most of the time don't care if they fuck others over as long as they get what they want. Recognize it in yourself as well as others and don't get bent out of shape over it. People just do this shit to each other because we are all slaves to our emotions. Fucking humans. I guess the trick is to find someone who's selfish urges align with your own.
 
I'm talking about one guy, and 10 years of history. I love him and I guess he doesn't love me and I don't want to hurt anymore. The situation is complicated... I just want to block it all out, not feel anymore. If killing my love for him is the only thing left to do so he stops breaking me each time... I don't want to, but I will. I just have no clue how. I always thought when you love someone unconditionally that it's a good thing, what they left out is how to get rid of it. So he can move on... and eventually so I can too. Cause he's made it crystal clear there's no hope left for us. And I love him enough to let him go....
 
Get a gun and learn to shoot it. It will force you to calm your mind and control your breathing, like meditation. The violence and noise is a nice release, too. Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, but you can't be sacrificing yourself for someone who won't do anything in return. It is a fine line. You gotta think about yourself at some point, but you can't just stop loving someone. Getting angry at them is an easy way out, but it is better to just take a deep breath and let it go. You can't control anything, and it is useless to try. Entropy happens. Life is a bitch. We all just need to deal. Learn to find peace within.
 
The only way to move on is to move on.

Find another man, this one is obviously not worth your time nor love.
 
Serene Imp said:
I'm talking about one guy, and 10 years of history. I love him and I guess he doesn't love me and I don't want to hurt anymore. The situation is complicated... I just want to block it all out, not feel anymore. If killing my love for him is the only thing left to do so he stops breaking me each time... I don't want to, but I will. I just have no clue how. I always thought when you love someone unconditionally that it's a good thing, what they left out is how to get rid of it. So he can move on... and eventually so I can too. Cause he's made it crystal clear there's no hope left for us. And I love him enough to let him go....
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Aw, sweetie. I've been there. Totally understand. This guy isn't worth it. About a year ago, I got back together with someone who I thought loved me and I loved him. We had broken up after we lived together for a little while and I thought he was the one. We had fun, but we had our issues. After a month about 2 days after Christmas, his ex-GF (mother of his kids who he had been separated from for 7 years and he SAID she was the devil) called him and claimed she got beat up by her husband. He cancels his plans with me and tells me that he needs to be there for the mother of his kids. I told him call me and I will help out too if I can. 10pm rolls by and I think "Hmm, that's weird. He never called." I called him and he blew me off. I texted him a few times "What's up? What's going on?" and I got ignored. I started to figure out that my gut was right. The next morning, he tells me I need to leave him alone, because he needs to be there for his kids. A few hours later, he moves her into his house and tells me she wants to work it out and he was breaking it off. I was so incredibly crushed. I was truly devastated.

He called me a month later to tell me she was cheating on him and going out at night. I tried to be there for him, because I loved him and ironically knew how it felt because of him, but he ruined it. Now, a year later, I realize he was just playing me as a backup girl. I should have listened to my gut, but I'm now better off. I'm so much happier now, and it took a while but I realize that I was in love with someone who didn't give a shit about me.

I'm telling you this, so first you know that you're not alone. It really hurts, and lots of us understand what you're going through. Especially when you think the guy/girl is special, but your existence isn't defined by some guy. And the pain will go away. Take some time for you and think of you for a while. I'm sure you're a great girl, and he just isn't right for you. You shouldn't let someone who doesn't care about you bring you down to this level. There are SO MANY men out there who will love you and won't treat you poorly.

I know it's not easy to hear it, but time does heal. I promise you. Just hang on and do something for YOU.
 
I hate the idea of backup girls/partners, its just like when your in line at a checkout, I never never (well almost) switch lines in the hope that Ill get through faster, it just doesnt work that way, and I always end up trying to get back to my original line, abeit in a far worse position.
Though if you have friends/GF with you, you can occupy multiple lines at once, then pick the best one, but still once committed to a line, I rarely change anymore.

I dont know how that will help the OP though, as obviously she is in one of those situations where the checkout operator has put up the closed sign, and needs to switch lines.
 
artic said:
Get a gun and learn to shoot it. It will force you to calm your mind and control your breathing, like meditation. The violence and noise is a nice release, too. Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, but you can't be sacrificing yourself for someone who won't do anything in return. It is a fine line. You gotta think about yourself at some point, but you can't just stop loving someone. Getting angry at them is an easy way out, but it is better to just take a deep breath and let it go. You can't control anything, and it is useless to try. Entropy happens. Life is a bitch. We all just need to deal. Learn to find peace within.
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You think a long bow and arrows would work as well? I like that better then guns. It's hard to think about just myself, since I had my son I very rarely think of just myself, it's always for others-'how will this effect this person', 'what would this person want', 'how do I keep this person happy'. It's bullshit sometimes, I know. I'm just not good at reprogramming myself.
 
Lysis said:
Aw, sweetie. I've been there. Totally understand. This guy isn't worth it. About a year ago, I got back together with someone who I thought loved me and I loved him. We had broken up after we lived together for a little while and I thought he was the one. We had fun, but we had our issues. After a month about 2 days after Christmas, his ex-GF (mother of his kids who he had been separated from for 7 years and he SAID she was the devil) called him and claimed she got beat up by her husband. He cancels his plans with me and tells me that he needs to be there for the mother of his kids. I told him call me and I will help out too if I can. 10pm rolls by and I think "Hmm, that's weird. He never called." I called him and he blew me off. I texted him a few times "What's up? What's going on?" and I got ignored. I started to figure out that my gut was right. The next morning, he tells me I need to leave him alone, because he needs to be there for his kids. A few hours later, he moves her into his house and tells me she wants to work it out and he was breaking it off. I was so incredibly crushed. I was truly devastated.

He called me a month later to tell me she was cheating on him and going out at night. I tried to be there for him, because I loved him and ironically knew how it felt because of him, but he ruined it. Now, a year later, I realize he was just playing me as a backup girl. I should have listened to my gut, but I'm now better off. I'm so much happier now, and it took a while but I realize that I was in love with someone who didn't give a shit about me.

I'm telling you this, so first you know that you're not alone. It really hurts, and lots of us understand what you're going through. Especially when you think the guy/girl is special, but your existence isn't defined by some guy. And the pain will go away. Take some time for you and think of you for a while. I'm sure you're a great girl, and he just isn't right for you. You shouldn't let someone who doesn't care about you bring you down to this level. There are SO MANY men out there who will love you and won't treat you poorly.

I know it's not easy to hear it, but time does heal. I promise you. Just hang on and do something for YOU.
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It's hard to believe that there's any decent guys alive in the world anymore, at least not around my area. I know there are other people who know what I'm going through, I just don't think I'm strong enough to move on by myself. I used to be, but I've placed so much in this person that without him I feel like half of a whole. And the last thing I want is to jump into another relationship so fast, I'm smarter then that. What can I hold onto when I have no friends or family to go to, they've all heard it too many times and turn a blind eye now. I've been on my own, alone, homeless and pregnant, but I can't go by the skin of my teeth with a 2 year old. We live together and I have no one, and no where else to go.
 
Do you still live together? Is he the father? You have to be strong for your son, but I'm sure you already know that.

There are good guys out there. I promise. It's hard to see that when you're totally emotionally invested in someone and they are your world. You're always welcome to come here and talk, of course. I hope it helps at least a little.

I don't know how the system works exactly, but if you need to get out, there are places/people who will help you. My BF worked for legal aid, and he's helped tons of women. I think he said it starts with a social worker and then, if he is the father, legal aid helps get you what you need from the father, if you think you need to protect your interests. Just something to think about.

You can pull through it. You've been homeless and pregnant and pulled through. How strong is that? There are a lot of people who would have been broken, but you made it through. You can get through this, too. And a year from now, you'll realize he was never worth all of these emotions in the first place.
 
Serene Imp said:
You think a long bow and arrows would work as well? I like that better then guns. It's hard to think about just myself, since I had my son I very rarely think of just myself, it's always for others-'how will this effect this person', 'what would this person want', 'how do I keep this person happy'. It's bullshit sometimes, I know. I'm just not good at reprogramming myself.
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Probably. I mostly prefer guns because of the wonderful noise they make, and because I have strong masochistic tendencies and getting hit by the kick feels good to me. Anything that forces you to exercise some self control and focus on something else should work. Exercise and art are both good activities as well.
 
jamesmartin said:
You could also smoke a shit tonne of weed to the point where you feel apathetic about everything including your situation . But im not sure if I'd reccomend that .
Just a joint or 2 a day should be fine .
Trust me . Eventually you'll put this all behind you after doing this for a few days
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I'm too paranoid to smoke anymore, out of everything weeds lasts so long in your system. I had a thread on how to prolong a molly crash, but it got shut down. While crashing I have an absence of all feelings. I don't smile, barely talk, I'm not happy, not sad, not depressed, not angry. Just numb, I can take in everything without over reacting, process it, and start to build up walls to protect myself for when the crash will end. I guess I'm just looking for something like that since my crash is just about over. Egh, anyway, if I could smoke without being broke and paranoid I would. It used to help.
 
Lysis said:
Do you still live together? Is he the father? You have to be strong for your son, but I'm sure you already know that.
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Yes, even share a room, and yes he's the father. I know I do, if I didn't have my son I'd pack up and book it outta here, even if I'd be homeless again, even seriously consider offing myself. But with my son in the picture I can't do that, and I won't. It does help, like I said, I can't go to anyone anymore cause they've been hearing the same old shit for years. I've tried places for mothers, they're extremely hard to get into to and normally cost money (atleast the one's I've tried). Thank you, I know I can... I just don't want to anymore. I'm sick of being 'The Strong One', taking care of everything. It'd be nice if someone could take care of me for once you know.

Sorry, don't mean to be piss and moan, I just don't know what to do.
 
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."

What was done to you is by no means justifiable; then again, seeking to live a life marred by numbness and depersonalization is hardly justifiable - it is no life at all, because our lives are our emotions and the effective relationships we learn to establish based on the strength of their presence in our individual experiences.

I was once told that "every relationship is practice for the one that works." It has remained some of the most poignant advice I have ever received, and you ought to consider yourself all the wiser for having endured your most recent hardship. Human "happiness," defined rather objectively, is almost entirely governed by our social relationships - our relationships with others, and subsequently, with ourselves - for it is by living amongst other human beings that we derive the truest clues as to who we are and who we want to be.

You've reached an unequivocal turning point in your personal evolution. Be grateful for it. I realize my suggestion sounds counter-intuitive, and possibly so base that it angers you. But consider for a moment the premise of Plato's "Philosophy of the Cave." Without one element in any context, its opposite could not exist; this is inextricably so, for without one element, there would be nothing against which to compare its opposite. Consider examples of an elementary nature: Without heat, there would be no cold, because 'cold' would not be 'cold' relative to 'hot.' So, too, do lightness and darkness follow the same paradigm. But conceptually, we can apply this to ourselves; to our innermost worlds.

Appreciating hardship, instead of recoiling from it, can often be our strongest ally. If we are our emotions, and our emotional states our reality, then we must consider that without pain, sorrow and misery there could not exist joy, pleasure and serenity. If we learn to embrace our human capacity for sadness, we see that it is a necessary evil to having felt happiness. And to be happy is a wonderful thing. It is a gift coming in infinite forms, arising from the absence of infinite forms of sadness. And for you to negate sorrow is to negate the possibility of ever finding happiness again. The pursuit of an anesthetized, apathetic existence is not what you want, truly, because few things are more harmful than such a state.

If you pardon my offering another suggestion to you, I would suggest taking this opportunity - bruised and battered as you no doubt feel - to allow yourself to be present for the pain. How you forge ahead will significantly impact your sense of self in the future - and, beyond a shadow of a doubt, for the better. To know oneself is the greatest gift of all, but it is taking pleasure in the journey that makes the destination so desirable. You are now without a partner, and that must feel terrible. I would be lying if I said I could not, in several distinct ways, relate to your story (although I am male), and to the way you must be feeling. But allow yourself the gift of that feeling of despair. It shall be the new bedrock upon which your forthcoming resiliency and self-confidence will find its foundation.

You have a wonderful future ahead of you.
I have found that, without exception, it is always darkest before the dawn.
Emotion. Without our greatest weakness, we would be quite unable to wield our greatest strength.
Breathe; you are far, far from alone.

With empathy,
~ vaya
 
I'm a good guy but every girl i seem to like is already taken or not interested...

its hard to block emotions... Personally I'm a guy and i FEEL way too much
 
cire113 said:
its hard to block emotions... Personally I'm a guy and i FEEL way too much
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Would you rather feel too little? I have several acquaintances of this caliber and they can be the most unfortunate, and are certainly amongst the least happy, people I have ever encountered.

~ vaya
 
Im 18 and have never had a girlfriend, ive got plenty of friends and im pretty popular, I wouldent say that im an unatractive guy either but for some reason nothing ever works out in the girl department, any suggestions?
 
Dear OP.

I naturally block out all emotions, so most social situations usually come easy for me, since I don't give a fuck about anything haha.
It certainly makes things easy. Poop skids and a knuckle sleezy. I'm drippin out my pee-pee. Is it white is it yellow, this a lil creepy.
As I emit a bellow, I think I'm a lil sleepy. You know what that means, time to drug my girl and get freebies.
 
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